2012 seems to be a topic that I’ve heard people talking about, I’ve spoken about it myself and Hollywood has made a movie on it. Many times the conversation is based around Hollywood’s –doomsday- saga! Yet another big budget blockbuster with all the bells and whistles to attract people in by the millions!
A few days ago “anonymous” wrote that she has been following my blog and she has had time to think about her own things in her life, and has come to the realization that she is happy. She has a wonderful family, is content and is blessed with great friends.
What is the comparison between anonymous’ comment and 2012? Nothing really, but it did get me thinking about what we believe for ourselves and the faith we have that lies therein. I suppose that’s what sparked the distant relation between the two. Faith is something so powerful; the faith in those around us, the faith in our family and friends but ultimately the faith that we have in ourselves - the most important one of all. I speak of faith as being a ‘believing sense’ that we all have – perhaps our 6th sense. I speak of faith in a broader spectrum that is not necessarily a religious topic, but does not exclude it either. Spiritually speaking is not necessarily talking about religion but awareness within ourselves, the environment around us and the universe that we all fit into.
Just after Hollywood released 2012, I went to see it on the big screen. I’m a bit of a sucker for a Hollywood action type movie as it’s a fantastic escape from all the pressures we face daily. I was in Barcelona and saw the movie in English in a VO (version original) cinema. Another friend had seen the movie in Spanish and over drinks one afternoon we discussed what we liked and didn’t like about the movie. It was a conversation that followed the path to a very interesting topic of the Mayans, Inca’s etc. and what was happening to the world we live in as we slowly walk towards 2012.
I found it very interesting that my friends’ perspective of 2012 was about a spiritual awareness that seems to be happening in the world. The fact that the calendars of these wise ‘old folk’ ends in this year is not about the end of the world but rather about the conscious awareness of how we see the world and how we will see the world thereafter. An awareness of sorts, that will awaken people’s minds and spirits to being more considerate towards the world we live in, themselves and others.
Its an interesting theory because I am looking towards my insides to find answers to my life. I hear more and more clients talking about their religious inclinations - be it Christianity, Muslims or even Buddhists? IT often has me thinking about what my beliefs are and how the universe interacts with all these religious beliefs taking into consideration other understandings, like astrology, numerology and the like. I read a Christian writing the other day where he spoke of his religion and how he has come to realize that he also believes in the universe, and to him this signified that he prayed to the stars because in reality that was his understanding of heaven – being up there in the stars.
The most important thing that I am taking out of this is that I believe they all work together; the religious, the spiritual, the esoteric, astrology, numerology etc etc. I see that people are realizing that there is so much more to the world we live in and are becoming less uncomfortable to discuss the way they feel and I see so much more conversations happening that are crossing boundaries never before crossed and it really excites me tremendously.
Maybe the Hollywood version of 2012 is not so far off – dooms day – to the old ways of our world and maybe anonymous has grasped this concept and found her happiness through sharing these things of herself with all those that surround her. The fact that she thought about it, took time to ponder on it and then write back is something that makes me so proud of what is being achieved in my life and my journey and coming to fruition through this blog.
I am a dreamer and I will always dream. I think great things are achieved by great dreamers and it comes to life through everything that surrounds us, seen or unseen, because of the faith we have in ourselves and those who surround us. Anonymous made me rethink where I am in life and reminded me that I am in my own paradise and need to realize it as I go. It’s not the one challenge that makes my life unhappy but rather the combination of all the bits I am feeling, thinking, going through and sharing that really makes my life very happy. Sure I have heart-wrenching parts in my life right now, but that’s also only one part. Through this heart-wrench I am discovering that no door is ever closed without another being open and that the universe is guiding me towards an even richer fulfilled life than I have already been blessed to have. I would like to have my 2 hearts with me, but I am now also understanding that everything happens for a reason and a lesson, perhaps a realization of where I am, where I need to be and where I am going.
A quote from Jana Stanfield so profound to me at the moment:
I cannot do all the good that the world needs but the world needs all the good that I can do!
my pics
True happiness shared!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
If music be the food of life…
Veelia oh Veelia, the witch of the woods….. a beautiful piece of music that still haunts my very soul. I think it’s from The Merry Widow and it’s a song that I remember my father often singing. To this day when I hear a version of the song I feel tears welling up as it invokes so much emotion within my soul. My father is no longer on this earth but lives on in my memories and the meager mention of the songs name Veelia, gives me a rush of vivid memories shared with my father and I, in a stage of life when everything seemed to be so simple.
I love music. It can make me irritated, it can make me sad, but most of all it can make me feel happy and content. Happiness and contentment is the feelings I aim for right now so I like to fill my life with feel-good music. I’m sure you all know what I mean. It’s the music that lifts our soul and takes us to a place that only we can go to when we hear it. All sorts of music from different genre’s can do this to anyone and I wonder why we are not filling our lives with more music all the time.
I am not a rap fan. I find it gets me feeling tense and feeling like I want to punch the wall. The lyrics generally seem to be so aggressive and as I’m in my car a lot, I get to hear the songs occasionally and have to change radio stations to wait for the song to pass. But I can’t generalize, as there are some rap songs that I do actually like, I thought I’d share the lyric section with you here, because it invokes a beautiful sense of tranquility within my soul.
‘Beautiful girls , all over the world, I could be chasing but my time would be wasted, they got nothing on you baby, nothing on you…’
What am I trying to get to here? Well, I think it’s important to realize that generalizations are not good. We can find such beauty in the most unexpected places and at the same time use them to our own advantage to motivate us to look, and dig deeper, within ourselves and through sharing with others! Maybe we should take a chance on looking where we’ve never looked and discover things that enlighten our souls to a happier sense of feeling that we all seem to be in search of.
I do believe that you should never leave any stone unturned. Taking the time to discover myself again, I have found that there is so much joy to be found in places I’ve never looked, because I closed my mind to what I generalized. I suppose it goes back to the labels that I spoke about the other day. I am trying to look into those generalizations to discover and find true gems that I previously missed.
Music has made me relook at everything I took for granted previously. I am opening my mind to discover new adventures and delve within to research myself and the feelings that are brought to surface with these new discoveries. One of the true loves of my life often says: there are none so blind as those who do not see. I’ve always found it to be such an interesting saying, but until yesterday when I listened to the rap song on the radio, do I think I understand the depth of the saying.
We take so much for granted and miss so much because we do not take the time to look. We rush by in our lives and seem to look at things as we do through a car window that’s rushing along the highway at 120kms. Quick flashes of life that look like any other flash of life we pass, yet when we slow down, turn off the road and take the time to look closer at those flashes of life, we find a new source of inspiration.
They are all around us; in the food that we don’t want to taste, in the books we don’t want to read, in the music we don’t want to hear. In the smells we don’t want to sniff and I think in the people we don’t want to associate ourselves with. Are we depriving ourselves of one of the best discoveries we may ever make, because we are too scared to take a chance?
Are we actually not putting our own life’s recipe together? Should we not be like Jamie Oliver, and discover new ways to our own life’s pastry with the array of wonders that we are all surrounded by, and not taking time to see, hear, feel touch and smell? Some of the ingredients may be out of season but the music can still continue if we take a chance to find other unique ingredients that we’ve never tried before. Let’s all aim to take a chance on a new song in our life, just one. Take the time to discover the emotions within ourselves – good or bad – and open our minds to understanding and creating new and wondrous feelings, and then remember those new emotions being evoked.
Wouldn’t it make our life so much richer and fulfilling? I know I have a new haunting rap-song in my life, and it makes me feel good, sad, lonely, happy and most of all alive!
Let our own life’s music help us discover the beautiful arrangement that is better than Brahms or Bach, because it is uniquely or own score!
I love music. It can make me irritated, it can make me sad, but most of all it can make me feel happy and content. Happiness and contentment is the feelings I aim for right now so I like to fill my life with feel-good music. I’m sure you all know what I mean. It’s the music that lifts our soul and takes us to a place that only we can go to when we hear it. All sorts of music from different genre’s can do this to anyone and I wonder why we are not filling our lives with more music all the time.
I am not a rap fan. I find it gets me feeling tense and feeling like I want to punch the wall. The lyrics generally seem to be so aggressive and as I’m in my car a lot, I get to hear the songs occasionally and have to change radio stations to wait for the song to pass. But I can’t generalize, as there are some rap songs that I do actually like, I thought I’d share the lyric section with you here, because it invokes a beautiful sense of tranquility within my soul.
‘Beautiful girls , all over the world, I could be chasing but my time would be wasted, they got nothing on you baby, nothing on you…’
What am I trying to get to here? Well, I think it’s important to realize that generalizations are not good. We can find such beauty in the most unexpected places and at the same time use them to our own advantage to motivate us to look, and dig deeper, within ourselves and through sharing with others! Maybe we should take a chance on looking where we’ve never looked and discover things that enlighten our souls to a happier sense of feeling that we all seem to be in search of.
I do believe that you should never leave any stone unturned. Taking the time to discover myself again, I have found that there is so much joy to be found in places I’ve never looked, because I closed my mind to what I generalized. I suppose it goes back to the labels that I spoke about the other day. I am trying to look into those generalizations to discover and find true gems that I previously missed.
Music has made me relook at everything I took for granted previously. I am opening my mind to discover new adventures and delve within to research myself and the feelings that are brought to surface with these new discoveries. One of the true loves of my life often says: there are none so blind as those who do not see. I’ve always found it to be such an interesting saying, but until yesterday when I listened to the rap song on the radio, do I think I understand the depth of the saying.
We take so much for granted and miss so much because we do not take the time to look. We rush by in our lives and seem to look at things as we do through a car window that’s rushing along the highway at 120kms. Quick flashes of life that look like any other flash of life we pass, yet when we slow down, turn off the road and take the time to look closer at those flashes of life, we find a new source of inspiration.
They are all around us; in the food that we don’t want to taste, in the books we don’t want to read, in the music we don’t want to hear. In the smells we don’t want to sniff and I think in the people we don’t want to associate ourselves with. Are we depriving ourselves of one of the best discoveries we may ever make, because we are too scared to take a chance?
Are we actually not putting our own life’s recipe together? Should we not be like Jamie Oliver, and discover new ways to our own life’s pastry with the array of wonders that we are all surrounded by, and not taking time to see, hear, feel touch and smell? Some of the ingredients may be out of season but the music can still continue if we take a chance to find other unique ingredients that we’ve never tried before. Let’s all aim to take a chance on a new song in our life, just one. Take the time to discover the emotions within ourselves – good or bad – and open our minds to understanding and creating new and wondrous feelings, and then remember those new emotions being evoked.
Wouldn’t it make our life so much richer and fulfilling? I know I have a new haunting rap-song in my life, and it makes me feel good, sad, lonely, happy and most of all alive!
Let our own life’s music help us discover the beautiful arrangement that is better than Brahms or Bach, because it is uniquely or own score!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Time is a ticking, tick tock tick tock
We all have time on our side…. Or do we? We take so much for granted, we squander on frivolities and we live like tomorrow will never come. It’s fantastic! Live in the here and now – let bygone’s be bygone’s and whatever cliché there is to be said about time.
Its an interesting topic because I seem to have let time slip through my fingers at certain stages of life. I can’t get it back but I can learn to time manage it in a better way so that I can use it wisely, perhaps not sparingly! I can take time and chew on it and let it quench my thirst at the same time. IT can however give me an upset stomach at times and diarrhea at others. It can make my stomach feel giddied and full of butterflies on occasion but when Im excited I get a strange feeling of nothing! Why is that?
Time is the most important thing in our life - besides the most obvious necessities like food and water – and yet I realize that I don’t use it on myself enough. Do I give of it too sparingly to others and should I hold it back from those who abuse it? How do I know if they need more time and how do I know if I am being abused by it?
So many adverts and discussions on giving money to help so and so in certain times of need and our own family are quick to throw money at certain special occasions that now seem to be so much about what you can buy, not about what thought has gone into it. Would it not be nicer to be aware of the time that you can share with your loved ones? Could you not feel more fulfilled to share your time to the charities and special needs that are in such dire need of people to help? Yes money makes it easier and we all know that it’s a basic staple of today’s living ways, but is it not more humane to be able to take time out and share it with the ones that are in need, be they family or not? Are we not all on this earth at the same time?
What about time wasted, by us and others, on creating problems and interjecting into others lives? Is it fare to be able to upset another human being, to the very core, that it uses up their time on trying to sort out why, where or when this situation was given the fuel to create the raging fire? Are we using our time to try control the time of others and why would we want to feel that power over another in any case?
It’s been done to me, just recently, and I realized after much time being upset that the brain drain it caused me was not worth it as I can’t stop what others say about me. I cannot stop them wasting their time on trying to ruin my life and anyway, it’s my time to use as I choose and I choose not to waste any more time on what is said through being upset! Unfortunately there are others that do believe that the time is not wasted because its possibly what they are looking for as an answer in their lives. To be downright mean!
This weekend a dear new friend was telling me about her horror stories of another trying to interfere in her life. IT really upset her and it was uncomfortable for me to not be able to do anything about it. I realized I can’t do anything about it because the new friend has to come to terms with the time being spent by herself, on giving this problem her attention! I could only offer the advice of not indulging into the topic and wasting her time in the process.
With so much of this type of thing happening in the world through friends, foes, press and television is it not about time that in 2010 we start looking towards how we can use our time to help others by giving of our time? It saddens me that people are getting hurt because we are so selfish, perhaps jealous, to not take note on the time we use to hurt others!
I think the motivation for all of us this week is to take note on the time we waste on the things we don’t want to do, on the people we hurt and on the things we are really missing all because we don’t manage our own time. Then again it is our time to use as we want…
Tick tock tick tock tick tock
Its an interesting topic because I seem to have let time slip through my fingers at certain stages of life. I can’t get it back but I can learn to time manage it in a better way so that I can use it wisely, perhaps not sparingly! I can take time and chew on it and let it quench my thirst at the same time. IT can however give me an upset stomach at times and diarrhea at others. It can make my stomach feel giddied and full of butterflies on occasion but when Im excited I get a strange feeling of nothing! Why is that?
Time is the most important thing in our life - besides the most obvious necessities like food and water – and yet I realize that I don’t use it on myself enough. Do I give of it too sparingly to others and should I hold it back from those who abuse it? How do I know if they need more time and how do I know if I am being abused by it?
So many adverts and discussions on giving money to help so and so in certain times of need and our own family are quick to throw money at certain special occasions that now seem to be so much about what you can buy, not about what thought has gone into it. Would it not be nicer to be aware of the time that you can share with your loved ones? Could you not feel more fulfilled to share your time to the charities and special needs that are in such dire need of people to help? Yes money makes it easier and we all know that it’s a basic staple of today’s living ways, but is it not more humane to be able to take time out and share it with the ones that are in need, be they family or not? Are we not all on this earth at the same time?
What about time wasted, by us and others, on creating problems and interjecting into others lives? Is it fare to be able to upset another human being, to the very core, that it uses up their time on trying to sort out why, where or when this situation was given the fuel to create the raging fire? Are we using our time to try control the time of others and why would we want to feel that power over another in any case?
It’s been done to me, just recently, and I realized after much time being upset that the brain drain it caused me was not worth it as I can’t stop what others say about me. I cannot stop them wasting their time on trying to ruin my life and anyway, it’s my time to use as I choose and I choose not to waste any more time on what is said through being upset! Unfortunately there are others that do believe that the time is not wasted because its possibly what they are looking for as an answer in their lives. To be downright mean!
This weekend a dear new friend was telling me about her horror stories of another trying to interfere in her life. IT really upset her and it was uncomfortable for me to not be able to do anything about it. I realized I can’t do anything about it because the new friend has to come to terms with the time being spent by herself, on giving this problem her attention! I could only offer the advice of not indulging into the topic and wasting her time in the process.
With so much of this type of thing happening in the world through friends, foes, press and television is it not about time that in 2010 we start looking towards how we can use our time to help others by giving of our time? It saddens me that people are getting hurt because we are so selfish, perhaps jealous, to not take note on the time we use to hurt others!
I think the motivation for all of us this week is to take note on the time we waste on the things we don’t want to do, on the people we hurt and on the things we are really missing all because we don’t manage our own time. Then again it is our time to use as we want…
Tick tock tick tock tick tock
Friday, June 4, 2010
My motivation from others
I like to think of myself as motivated. I often enough don’t know where it comes from I just know that I have to get on with it and do it. Sometimes I think it may be because of my upbringing when I was told that if I didn’t do it for myself, no one would do it for me. I was told that if I wanted something bad enough I could only rely on myself to go out and get it, because everyone has their own things that they want in their life.
As a child, more often than not, I did not understand the depth of these lessons, and would moan and groan feeling sorry for myself because no one would help me. The more I moaned the less attention I got, until I myself got irritated with the situation and just did what I needed to do and wanted to do. Eventually I realized that perhaps if I cut the moaning and groaning out, I would save time and would also be able to get a lot more done and perhaps quicker, leaving me more time to aim for other things that I set my mind the task to achieve.
These were not conscious awareness thoughts but just things that I did and got on with doing. At the age of 16 I think I realized just how powerful self motivation could be. I was in high school, doing singing, dancing and acting classes as extra-curricular activities and because the school I was at had no sporting activities. During one of my dance classes I felt my leg stick to the floor yet my knee and the upper part of the leg continued to turn, as we did pirouettes.
All 6’4” of me went flying, and I was in pain and my knee swelled to the size of a football! It is funny though when I think of how I flew through the air and landed under a table!
The specialist doctors I went to see told me I would have to have an operation but my dancing and sporting days were over. I was then referred to another doctor who happened to be the South African Boxing Association doctor. He said –we’ll have you up in a jiffy. 6 months after the operation and physiotherapy, I was back in dance class. I often think of the heart wrenching agony I went through – not with the knee, but rather the fact that I was told I could never do something I enjoyed again. Through patience and perseverance I was shown the light at the end of the tunnel and given hope in a place where I thought hope had moved out! At 17 I also got to swim in the South African Time Trials competing for the team against China.
I went on to have a successful 20 + years of dancing singing and entertainment as a career and all because I believed I could do it no matter what anyone , specialist or not, told me. I stopped dancing as a career for over 10 years, but have restarted ballet class again and I love it!
Last night at a cocktail function I spoke to a lady who told me she was having difficulty losing weight. She had, through unforeseen circumstances put on 30 kg’s and wanted to lose them again. Firstly I thought; Yeah right! Unforeseen circumstance? And then I asked what the circumstances were? In my mind I wanted to hide under a rock – because of what I had just thought! Nonchalantly she says Cancer! I was diagnosed with cancer, had chemo lost the hair but in the process my body changed and I put on 30 Kg’s. She then tells me that she has already lost 15 Kg’s and has 15 more to go! This same lady was full of smiles, her magnetism radiating from her every being and she danced all night.
What impressed me was that her focus was on something other than the cancer. She had been there, beaten that, and was now aiming to lose the weight. This type of motivation is what I talk about when I say ‘motivation from others’. It’s a motivating factor to see that no matter what the hurdle is you are faced with, your attitude is what makes all the difference.
I first felt like a dumbass thinking what I did, but then I felt honored to have met her. She showed me that we are in control of our own lives!
This is what I summarized it to - while laying in bed last night.
1. Intention – that she was going to beat it
2. Attention – she gave herself positive thoughts and filled her life with determination to beat the cancer
3. Stress-less – she didn’t focus on the problem but the solution and was so convinced that she had a total calm about the action and result there from.
I know I took a page out of her book last night. What is my intention, what am I focusing my attentions on and am I doing it without stress?
Id love to delve more into this at another stage, but for now I think we should all look at these three points that I come up with last night and see how we can all use it them our lives.
We most certainly can all get motivation from others if we just take the time to look and listen!
As a child, more often than not, I did not understand the depth of these lessons, and would moan and groan feeling sorry for myself because no one would help me. The more I moaned the less attention I got, until I myself got irritated with the situation and just did what I needed to do and wanted to do. Eventually I realized that perhaps if I cut the moaning and groaning out, I would save time and would also be able to get a lot more done and perhaps quicker, leaving me more time to aim for other things that I set my mind the task to achieve.
These were not conscious awareness thoughts but just things that I did and got on with doing. At the age of 16 I think I realized just how powerful self motivation could be. I was in high school, doing singing, dancing and acting classes as extra-curricular activities and because the school I was at had no sporting activities. During one of my dance classes I felt my leg stick to the floor yet my knee and the upper part of the leg continued to turn, as we did pirouettes.
All 6’4” of me went flying, and I was in pain and my knee swelled to the size of a football! It is funny though when I think of how I flew through the air and landed under a table!
The specialist doctors I went to see told me I would have to have an operation but my dancing and sporting days were over. I was then referred to another doctor who happened to be the South African Boxing Association doctor. He said –we’ll have you up in a jiffy. 6 months after the operation and physiotherapy, I was back in dance class. I often think of the heart wrenching agony I went through – not with the knee, but rather the fact that I was told I could never do something I enjoyed again. Through patience and perseverance I was shown the light at the end of the tunnel and given hope in a place where I thought hope had moved out! At 17 I also got to swim in the South African Time Trials competing for the team against China.
I went on to have a successful 20 + years of dancing singing and entertainment as a career and all because I believed I could do it no matter what anyone , specialist or not, told me. I stopped dancing as a career for over 10 years, but have restarted ballet class again and I love it!
Last night at a cocktail function I spoke to a lady who told me she was having difficulty losing weight. She had, through unforeseen circumstances put on 30 kg’s and wanted to lose them again. Firstly I thought; Yeah right! Unforeseen circumstance? And then I asked what the circumstances were? In my mind I wanted to hide under a rock – because of what I had just thought! Nonchalantly she says Cancer! I was diagnosed with cancer, had chemo lost the hair but in the process my body changed and I put on 30 Kg’s. She then tells me that she has already lost 15 Kg’s and has 15 more to go! This same lady was full of smiles, her magnetism radiating from her every being and she danced all night.
What impressed me was that her focus was on something other than the cancer. She had been there, beaten that, and was now aiming to lose the weight. This type of motivation is what I talk about when I say ‘motivation from others’. It’s a motivating factor to see that no matter what the hurdle is you are faced with, your attitude is what makes all the difference.
I first felt like a dumbass thinking what I did, but then I felt honored to have met her. She showed me that we are in control of our own lives!
This is what I summarized it to - while laying in bed last night.
1. Intention – that she was going to beat it
2. Attention – she gave herself positive thoughts and filled her life with determination to beat the cancer
3. Stress-less – she didn’t focus on the problem but the solution and was so convinced that she had a total calm about the action and result there from.
I know I took a page out of her book last night. What is my intention, what am I focusing my attentions on and am I doing it without stress?
Id love to delve more into this at another stage, but for now I think we should all look at these three points that I come up with last night and see how we can all use it them our lives.
We most certainly can all get motivation from others if we just take the time to look and listen!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Labeling Life
The topic of labels is something that I find very interesting in today’s life, and society. Last night my good friend Miss T and I were discussing how it is we all get labeled into certain categories and if we don’t fit ‘the mould’ it seems to confuse others as to whom or what we are and then get criticized because we are strong enough to make our own decisions to not want to fall into that particular label category!
I have a Spanish friend who has 2 children. Her son constantly wants Nike trainers. In the beginning she bought him Nike trainers, but they would last for about 2 weeks. Nike trainers are not cheap and she could not afford to be buying him Nike trainers every two weeks because of them falling apart and because of how quickly he, as a teenager, was growing. She started buying cheaper, label-less brands. They lasted two weeks as well. She said to me that she doesn’t care that others think of her as a bad mother, because she is doing the best she can with what the situation dictates; making sure the child has shoes even though it’s not the labeled variety that he so wants.
Do we actually label ourselves first? I think we do. I think we like to put ourselves in a category that we think fits our mould and thereby the image we want to project to the outside world. At the same time it is our life to do as we wish, so really there’s nothing wrong with that, I suppose. What becomes interesting is that others start placing you in a mould and give you a label that is sometimes so wrong and not who you really are as a person. Are these people labeling you without being aware of what your situation is for you to act in that specific way? Are they aware that the tools you have at your disposal makes you act in a certain way, even though it may not be the way you want to act? Are we not sometimes all forced into situations because of mistakes we have made, and by trying to make them right, we get a wrong label as to who we are as people? What gives another the right to criticize what you are doing in your life without knowing the whole situation and the reasons behind what you are doing?
The scary thing is that we all do it!
In life we all wear different caps. One day we have to wear the cap of the Trainer. The following day we have to wear the cap of the Manager and the next day we have to wear the cap of the Player. Sometimes, we land up wearing certain caps longer because of the situation that we find ourselves in and whether we like it or not, it’s what there is at that specific time. It doesn’t make it right or wrong, I think it’s just life showing us the many facets that we have to face to fulfill and deal with situations as they come. We do realistically have different tools that we have collected along the way to cope with these situations, but they may be different tools to the ones the next person would use, so the next person then feels they have the right to criticize you for your decision - labeling you to be so and so.
Is there ever a right or a wrong answer to your life? I think its life experience that we garner to create a more fulfilled life and NO ONE has the right to criticize what you or I do in that specific situation, regardless of how differently we deal with the same situation. I also think the labels created are the ones we put forward for ourselves. I think that perhaps we should all start looking at our own labels and leave others labels, for them to deal with. As I said earlier, it’s something we all do, but do we take the time to step out of our own comfort zone to realize why the other person is doing what he/she is doing, or is it just easier to find fault in what others do so that we don’t have to face our own labels and our own faults? Life is made up of so many bits and it’s not one specific bit that labels you, but a combination of all the bits that make the whole. Does anyone every really know the whole?
I’m in no way perfect but can only strive to do what I think is right with what I am equipped with, as each situation presents itself to me. I may get hurt in the process, or unwillingly hurt others in the process, but as its never intentional is it right to be criticized for it? Maybe we are meant to be criticized to understand the lesson? Tough question and so debatable on many levels, because we all do have opinions and we all do have ideas. The end result for me is - do what you can do, to the best of your ability and leave others to do what they can do to the best of their ability. Maybe by being more understanding to one another we may have a happier, more fulfilling life and in the process also see past the labels we put on other people to rather concentrate on ourselves!
I’m on a journey and I’m creating the label I want for myself that I can be proud of and that hopefully others can admire. It’s not easy and I do keep falling down, but the important thing is that I get up, dust myself off and start all over again!
I read an interesting quote by Denis Waitley who said – Never become so much of an expert that you stop gaining expertise. View life as a continuous learning experience.
Powerful words when we all fall under the same label – that of LIFE!
I have a Spanish friend who has 2 children. Her son constantly wants Nike trainers. In the beginning she bought him Nike trainers, but they would last for about 2 weeks. Nike trainers are not cheap and she could not afford to be buying him Nike trainers every two weeks because of them falling apart and because of how quickly he, as a teenager, was growing. She started buying cheaper, label-less brands. They lasted two weeks as well. She said to me that she doesn’t care that others think of her as a bad mother, because she is doing the best she can with what the situation dictates; making sure the child has shoes even though it’s not the labeled variety that he so wants.
Do we actually label ourselves first? I think we do. I think we like to put ourselves in a category that we think fits our mould and thereby the image we want to project to the outside world. At the same time it is our life to do as we wish, so really there’s nothing wrong with that, I suppose. What becomes interesting is that others start placing you in a mould and give you a label that is sometimes so wrong and not who you really are as a person. Are these people labeling you without being aware of what your situation is for you to act in that specific way? Are they aware that the tools you have at your disposal makes you act in a certain way, even though it may not be the way you want to act? Are we not sometimes all forced into situations because of mistakes we have made, and by trying to make them right, we get a wrong label as to who we are as people? What gives another the right to criticize what you are doing in your life without knowing the whole situation and the reasons behind what you are doing?
The scary thing is that we all do it!
In life we all wear different caps. One day we have to wear the cap of the Trainer. The following day we have to wear the cap of the Manager and the next day we have to wear the cap of the Player. Sometimes, we land up wearing certain caps longer because of the situation that we find ourselves in and whether we like it or not, it’s what there is at that specific time. It doesn’t make it right or wrong, I think it’s just life showing us the many facets that we have to face to fulfill and deal with situations as they come. We do realistically have different tools that we have collected along the way to cope with these situations, but they may be different tools to the ones the next person would use, so the next person then feels they have the right to criticize you for your decision - labeling you to be so and so.
Is there ever a right or a wrong answer to your life? I think its life experience that we garner to create a more fulfilled life and NO ONE has the right to criticize what you or I do in that specific situation, regardless of how differently we deal with the same situation. I also think the labels created are the ones we put forward for ourselves. I think that perhaps we should all start looking at our own labels and leave others labels, for them to deal with. As I said earlier, it’s something we all do, but do we take the time to step out of our own comfort zone to realize why the other person is doing what he/she is doing, or is it just easier to find fault in what others do so that we don’t have to face our own labels and our own faults? Life is made up of so many bits and it’s not one specific bit that labels you, but a combination of all the bits that make the whole. Does anyone every really know the whole?
I’m in no way perfect but can only strive to do what I think is right with what I am equipped with, as each situation presents itself to me. I may get hurt in the process, or unwillingly hurt others in the process, but as its never intentional is it right to be criticized for it? Maybe we are meant to be criticized to understand the lesson? Tough question and so debatable on many levels, because we all do have opinions and we all do have ideas. The end result for me is - do what you can do, to the best of your ability and leave others to do what they can do to the best of their ability. Maybe by being more understanding to one another we may have a happier, more fulfilling life and in the process also see past the labels we put on other people to rather concentrate on ourselves!
I’m on a journey and I’m creating the label I want for myself that I can be proud of and that hopefully others can admire. It’s not easy and I do keep falling down, but the important thing is that I get up, dust myself off and start all over again!
I read an interesting quote by Denis Waitley who said – Never become so much of an expert that you stop gaining expertise. View life as a continuous learning experience.
Powerful words when we all fall under the same label – that of LIFE!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
It’s not the problem, is it the solution?
I had my haircut yesterday. I always have a clipper cut which is quick and easy for me to wear; a wash – and - go type haircut. I keep my fringe a little longer and that is normally trimmed with a pair of scissors. The lady that normally cuts my hair was not in and because of how simple it is to cut my hair, another lady offered to cut my hair. As she clipper - cut my hair she asked if I wanted my fringe cut with the number 3 attachment, to keep it uniform on the top. I said NO, scissors are usually used. She took the clipper and shaved my fringe off, leaving me looking like a military man. Shocked, I look at her and said; but that’s exactly what I told you NOT to do! She smiled at me apologetically and said, but I thought you said yes.
I now have a new look – thanks to a misunderstanding. My hair grows quickly, so I’m not too concerned about looking like a military man.
When I got home I thought about what happened and the result I am left with. In all honesty, it’s not a bad look and by this morning I was already feeling better about how I look. Is this a simplified way for me to see the demons I think I am facing?
I realized that I am in control of my life. Not something I have forgotten but perhaps I need to be reminded of this every now and then. Demons come in every shape and form and I have always had the courage to face my demons, and actually been quite creative in how I deal with them.
Here’s the picture I created for myself this morning:
A dragon is constantly attacking a village. Normally the village is very prosperous and looked at with respect and admiration. But the village feels negativity in the air from the constant bombardment of the dragon, which spits fire, steals the livestock and just makes life damn uncomfortable to deal with. One of the townsfolk, tired of constantly battling what seems to be a losing battle, decides to take a walk into the forest, to clear his head, to look for some joy in his life again and enable him to come back feeling refreshed and ready for a new battle. This person happens to come across the dragon, which is resting. The dragon sees the person and is angered that he is interrupting his rest. The person is petrified as he has no tools to fight the dragon with. They take time to look at each other and to try figure each other out. This goes on for hours, until they both realize that neither one of them has the will nor the need to fight. The dragon is full and is not really being bothered by the man. The man sees that the dragon is not really a threat to him, because he has eaten. The dragon and the man start trusting one another and pretty soon the dragon and the man are friends.
I feel like the village. The dragon is the constant array of questions that I find asking myself. The man is my consciousness. Consciously I need to learn to overcome my fear of the dragon, accept how it is and why it does what it does. In the end the understanding of the situation is what makes it easier to deal with and realize that a step forward is being made.
I feel a little happier today. I feel a little stronger. I feel like I have taken a baby step towards my future, yet all the while enjoying the now. Yesterday “anonymous” said that I am asking the right questions. Thank you for that and the moral support because I sometimes even doubt that the questions I ask are the right ones, but it was a motivating boost and one that gave me a respiratory break today.
I feel like I now not only have a new look, but also an extra tool to fight my own demons with although I never lost it in the first place.
The tool is the reminder that I am in control of my own life!
I feel good, I feel great, I feel fantastic!
I now have a new look – thanks to a misunderstanding. My hair grows quickly, so I’m not too concerned about looking like a military man.
When I got home I thought about what happened and the result I am left with. In all honesty, it’s not a bad look and by this morning I was already feeling better about how I look. Is this a simplified way for me to see the demons I think I am facing?
I realized that I am in control of my life. Not something I have forgotten but perhaps I need to be reminded of this every now and then. Demons come in every shape and form and I have always had the courage to face my demons, and actually been quite creative in how I deal with them.
Here’s the picture I created for myself this morning:
A dragon is constantly attacking a village. Normally the village is very prosperous and looked at with respect and admiration. But the village feels negativity in the air from the constant bombardment of the dragon, which spits fire, steals the livestock and just makes life damn uncomfortable to deal with. One of the townsfolk, tired of constantly battling what seems to be a losing battle, decides to take a walk into the forest, to clear his head, to look for some joy in his life again and enable him to come back feeling refreshed and ready for a new battle. This person happens to come across the dragon, which is resting. The dragon sees the person and is angered that he is interrupting his rest. The person is petrified as he has no tools to fight the dragon with. They take time to look at each other and to try figure each other out. This goes on for hours, until they both realize that neither one of them has the will nor the need to fight. The dragon is full and is not really being bothered by the man. The man sees that the dragon is not really a threat to him, because he has eaten. The dragon and the man start trusting one another and pretty soon the dragon and the man are friends.
I feel like the village. The dragon is the constant array of questions that I find asking myself. The man is my consciousness. Consciously I need to learn to overcome my fear of the dragon, accept how it is and why it does what it does. In the end the understanding of the situation is what makes it easier to deal with and realize that a step forward is being made.
I feel a little happier today. I feel a little stronger. I feel like I have taken a baby step towards my future, yet all the while enjoying the now. Yesterday “anonymous” said that I am asking the right questions. Thank you for that and the moral support because I sometimes even doubt that the questions I ask are the right ones, but it was a motivating boost and one that gave me a respiratory break today.
I feel like I now not only have a new look, but also an extra tool to fight my own demons with although I never lost it in the first place.
The tool is the reminder that I am in control of my own life!
I feel good, I feel great, I feel fantastic!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Re-searching myself!
Yesterday I wrote about what I think of Rejection. Two “anonymous” contributors posed information and further questions. Information about Abraham Maslow and other theorists studies and then there was the other question; what about self rejection?
Firstly, it excites me tremendously that people known, or unknown, are reading the blog and also contributing what they think, feel and know. Secondly, it got me so interested that I did some research for myself last night and thanks to the internet so much is readily available for all of us in today’s world.
Thank you everyone for these contributions, and please do keep them coming. I know that one question posed may lead to a totally different topic of conversation, but it may not have come up if those questions were not posed!
My research last night – after reading the comments – got me thinking - What is mid-life crisis? So much reading is available and in no way am I a speed reader to get through everything to be able to summarize what I’ve discovered here. But it is all about what I’ve been thinking and feeling, and the situations that so many seem to find themselves in, as I do, about what’s happening in each of our lives at the moment and between the comments and my quick research, I want to be able to share.
A very interesting article that I came across on About.com written by Cathy Meyer, asks the question “what is a midlife crisis?” Reading the article and the various outcomes that different people have, I picked up on 5 that ring so true to me and how I am and have been feeling for some time; I’d like to share these now. These are the 5 points from Cathy Meyer’s article.
1. Unhappiness with life and the lifestyle that may have provided them with happiness for many years.
2. Feeling a need for adventure and change.
3. Questioning the choices they have made in their lives and the validity of decisions they made years before.
4. Confusion about who they are and where they are going.
5. Unable to make decisions about where they want to go with their life.
The unhappiness I seem to have been faced with is the fact that I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t recognize myself in many instances and yet at the same time my insides are telling me that I need to get back to being who I was, as a person, prior to 2004. Why specifically 2004, you may ask? That being the year that we moved country to start a new life and a new career and everything seems to point to that time. The easiest way for me to get to explaining how I feel is to imagine a river. At some parts, it slowly washes by you and at other parts which are more narrow, the water starts rushing to squeeze through that narrower part, as it needs to flow down to its ultimate point, that being the sea. My unhappiness is that I feel like I got stuck in that narrow rushing part until I hit a rock that stood in the way. Dazed, I realized that something was wrong, and standing on that rock I had the opportunity to look back over what had transpired till that point! I am still standing on the rock and still finding new things that I don’t like, but it has also given me the opportunity to look forward to where it is I am going.
That’s where the adventure part comes in. Life to me is an adventured to be lived, discovered and hopefully enjoyed. I most definitely question a lot of what I have done in the past but my logic dictates that I can’t change the past, only learn from it. I’m trying to look at what I need to learn from the experience and see how, what and where I need to change for the future I see ahead. My very good entertainer lady friend, who I have mentioned previously and who has been such an amazing pillar of support in everything that I have done, once said to me; we all have 20/20 vision in retrospect.
I totally understand the concept and I agree with it whole heartedly which then brings me to number 4 on the list about my confusion. Where am I? What have I learnt? Where do I need to change? What do I need to change? Where am I going to? What am I looking to achieve? And please do believe me when I say that list seems to be never-ending!
How can I see what I want to achieve, while I stand on my rock, when everything ahead of me seems so misted up?
The same friend that told me second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day also gave me the answer. I am trying my utmost to continue in a job, which is only a job, and still look at how I can clear the mist little by little, and thereby hopefully see what I want to aim for in the future. I have great days of self worth and that encourages me to move ahead. Other days I feel like I should never have stood up on that rock taking time for myself and on other days I wish I could’ve just drowned. (and believe me this is not a suicide plea at all, so stop in your tracks!)
I feel like I’ve lost so much of what I hold near and dear to me in this process. It hurts like hell! For now I am trying to concentrate on what I have learnt and how it can help me. I am not an evil person but rather a nurturer. I consider others before myself, yet it seems like that is not what I show on the outside. I put up a hard front and am honestly embarrassed to have the spotlight shown on me and my emotions! God forbid, anyone should know how I am feeling!!!!
And boy, now that I’ve started opening up, you can’t shut me up!
It’s the most pain staking, heart wrenching process to go through. Putting up the mirror, taking off my clothes and looking at who I really have become!
I cry a lot, in fact I sit here writing and have tears streaming down my face from emotion. And it’s good, I’ve realized that now and realize that it’s been a long overdue process but something I am facing and facing all by myself. I am not alone, so that’s not the issue, as I have a lot of support from my friends, but it’s a process that only I can do for myself and only I can resolve and only I need to go through by myself. It does not instigate anger or fear. It instigates a lot of tears, heart sore, and migraines. But I’m doing it and I understand it as I go second by second, minute by minute – I’ve not reached the hour by hour part yet, let alone day by day!!! No matter what Maslow or other social psychologists and analysts say in their studies, it doesn’t help. I know it sounds very selfish, and I probably am, but so what!
What I do know is that only I can live it, experience it, fix it and move on and that’s what I am doing. It is my journey of my life and only I get a say in how it moves forward!
It’s not easy searching for me, myself, I.
Firstly, it excites me tremendously that people known, or unknown, are reading the blog and also contributing what they think, feel and know. Secondly, it got me so interested that I did some research for myself last night and thanks to the internet so much is readily available for all of us in today’s world.
Thank you everyone for these contributions, and please do keep them coming. I know that one question posed may lead to a totally different topic of conversation, but it may not have come up if those questions were not posed!
My research last night – after reading the comments – got me thinking - What is mid-life crisis? So much reading is available and in no way am I a speed reader to get through everything to be able to summarize what I’ve discovered here. But it is all about what I’ve been thinking and feeling, and the situations that so many seem to find themselves in, as I do, about what’s happening in each of our lives at the moment and between the comments and my quick research, I want to be able to share.
A very interesting article that I came across on About.com written by Cathy Meyer, asks the question “what is a midlife crisis?” Reading the article and the various outcomes that different people have, I picked up on 5 that ring so true to me and how I am and have been feeling for some time; I’d like to share these now. These are the 5 points from Cathy Meyer’s article.
1. Unhappiness with life and the lifestyle that may have provided them with happiness for many years.
2. Feeling a need for adventure and change.
3. Questioning the choices they have made in their lives and the validity of decisions they made years before.
4. Confusion about who they are and where they are going.
5. Unable to make decisions about where they want to go with their life.
The unhappiness I seem to have been faced with is the fact that I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t recognize myself in many instances and yet at the same time my insides are telling me that I need to get back to being who I was, as a person, prior to 2004. Why specifically 2004, you may ask? That being the year that we moved country to start a new life and a new career and everything seems to point to that time. The easiest way for me to get to explaining how I feel is to imagine a river. At some parts, it slowly washes by you and at other parts which are more narrow, the water starts rushing to squeeze through that narrower part, as it needs to flow down to its ultimate point, that being the sea. My unhappiness is that I feel like I got stuck in that narrow rushing part until I hit a rock that stood in the way. Dazed, I realized that something was wrong, and standing on that rock I had the opportunity to look back over what had transpired till that point! I am still standing on the rock and still finding new things that I don’t like, but it has also given me the opportunity to look forward to where it is I am going.
That’s where the adventure part comes in. Life to me is an adventured to be lived, discovered and hopefully enjoyed. I most definitely question a lot of what I have done in the past but my logic dictates that I can’t change the past, only learn from it. I’m trying to look at what I need to learn from the experience and see how, what and where I need to change for the future I see ahead. My very good entertainer lady friend, who I have mentioned previously and who has been such an amazing pillar of support in everything that I have done, once said to me; we all have 20/20 vision in retrospect.
I totally understand the concept and I agree with it whole heartedly which then brings me to number 4 on the list about my confusion. Where am I? What have I learnt? Where do I need to change? What do I need to change? Where am I going to? What am I looking to achieve? And please do believe me when I say that list seems to be never-ending!
How can I see what I want to achieve, while I stand on my rock, when everything ahead of me seems so misted up?
The same friend that told me second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day also gave me the answer. I am trying my utmost to continue in a job, which is only a job, and still look at how I can clear the mist little by little, and thereby hopefully see what I want to aim for in the future. I have great days of self worth and that encourages me to move ahead. Other days I feel like I should never have stood up on that rock taking time for myself and on other days I wish I could’ve just drowned. (and believe me this is not a suicide plea at all, so stop in your tracks!)
I feel like I’ve lost so much of what I hold near and dear to me in this process. It hurts like hell! For now I am trying to concentrate on what I have learnt and how it can help me. I am not an evil person but rather a nurturer. I consider others before myself, yet it seems like that is not what I show on the outside. I put up a hard front and am honestly embarrassed to have the spotlight shown on me and my emotions! God forbid, anyone should know how I am feeling!!!!
And boy, now that I’ve started opening up, you can’t shut me up!
It’s the most pain staking, heart wrenching process to go through. Putting up the mirror, taking off my clothes and looking at who I really have become!
I cry a lot, in fact I sit here writing and have tears streaming down my face from emotion. And it’s good, I’ve realized that now and realize that it’s been a long overdue process but something I am facing and facing all by myself. I am not alone, so that’s not the issue, as I have a lot of support from my friends, but it’s a process that only I can do for myself and only I can resolve and only I need to go through by myself. It does not instigate anger or fear. It instigates a lot of tears, heart sore, and migraines. But I’m doing it and I understand it as I go second by second, minute by minute – I’ve not reached the hour by hour part yet, let alone day by day!!! No matter what Maslow or other social psychologists and analysts say in their studies, it doesn’t help. I know it sounds very selfish, and I probably am, but so what!
What I do know is that only I can live it, experience it, fix it and move on and that’s what I am doing. It is my journey of my life and only I get a say in how it moves forward!
It’s not easy searching for me, myself, I.
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