One of the things Ive noticed lately with all the things I go through in my mind is that I seem to think, re-think and still re-think things over and over again. I try looking at the situations in my life from my point of view from others point of view and then I try look at it from a point of view of someone who does not know me or the situation. Its not easy, but it does become quite creative in seeing the same challenge from different perspectives, and its even more amazing how your own point of view can be influenced by these types of ‘viewings’.
Challenges are not bad, as much as we hate them. Challenges help us see our demons as well as our guardian angels. Challenges help us evolve as human beings and grow up. Look at all the challenges we faced as children – just the mere fact that we wanted to walk and not crawl was a challenge. We would get up and fall down, get up again and fall down again, until we started getting to grips with gravity and balance. Then the challenge was not a challenge anymore and we moved on to perhaps learning how to walk quickly without falling, and then perhaps try running.
We are faced with challenges every single day. Some are hard, some are easy, some make us stress while others leave us feeling fantastic. How different would life be if we did not have these challenges? Imagine your life, where everything was easy to achieve, not a challenge and as you thought it you got it? Would that not leave us all a little dull? What would be the value of life if everything was served on a silver platter, or gold, if that’s what you wished?
The World Cup Football matches have been fantastic to watch. I used to play a little football in my youth so I get excited when I am able to watch professionals doing something that they love and also doing it so well. This World Cup has already shown many surprises in the results that are coming in daily and each and every team is pulling their weight to try achieving the trophy of trophies!
We as onlookers set a lot of expectation in the team of our choice, be it the country that you belong to or just the team that you favor in general. Many of the onlookers I have observed have high expectations of previous winners and previous teams. Is this a good thing or a bad thing Im not sure, but I do know that from the experiences that the lesser teams have gained through previous matches, the surprises are coming fast and furious. These lesser teams have had to face challenges not only through perhaps constantly loosing to better teams at the time, but have had the determination to continue training and push forward to perhaps loose time and time again, until such time as they surprise everyone else.
I think these highlight experiences in football are so apt for our everyday lives. We strive; we loose some we win some, but the hard workers and perseverer’s are the ones that come out at the top. Sometimes the underdog has a great wealth of knowledge that still needs to be shared and they become the top dog because of all the challenges they have had to face. Should we be looking at them in a lower light while they are down, and looking at the top dogs in a better light while they are up?
I do know that good results are achieved through constant challenges and constant hard work to move forward. I think we should enjoy the euphoria of the situation while it lasts and I think we should not try recreating the situation, as it will never be the same. It can’t be, because time is what gets in the way and the challenges are different.
Sometimes through all my thinking and re-thinking I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders because I do want everything to be just right, but its not always up to me, and the situation may not allow for it to be that way in the future. On other days I feel like the weight of the world has been sucked into a black hole within the universe and I awake feeling euphoric, for no known reason whatsoever. At times I try analyze these sudden euphoric feelings, as a football team would analyze their previous losses, and at others I just enjoy them whole-heartedly.
I realized suddenly this morning that these euphoric feelings are a gift to be enjoyed and not analyzed. I need to enjoy the moment for what it is and allow myself to enjoy them as they come because tomorrow is another day with different results surely to be prominent. Perhaps this is what is meant by living in the moment as the football players do when they score a goal or win the World Cup.
For some unknown reason I suddenly felt a sense of Euphoria this morning when I woke up. Im not analyzing it but actually enjoying it and its given me the greatest pleasure to be able to share it with everyone.
Enjoy every moment while you have it!
my pics
True happiness shared!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Diversity
One of my most special friends commented to me the other night that he enjoyed what I wrote about as he found it very honest and diversified in theme. I think its where my mind is at right now. Not specifically going through one thing but facing the huge amounts of turmoil’s, ideas, creative eruptions and more, all at once. They are sporadic and sometimes very disconnected. Exactly how I feel at the moment. For years I thought of myself as a Jack of all trades Master of none. I get excited by the amounts of interesting things there are in the world to learn about, do, partake in and try. Does that make me Master of none? Im now realizing that no, I am a master of many more things than I ever thought but the most important of all though is the fact that Ive mastered having so many special people in my life.
My Life Coach back in Europe that I was working with while there, introduced me to a topic, unknown to me at the time, and something that Ive mentioned in a previous posting; THE PORTFOLIO CAREER.
Apparently many people are getting into it. Its that many people are faced with the same situation that I am – the love of many different areas. I love many things and Im interested in more, which Ive not even come to yet. I try them all when they come into my life as I don’t believe that any stone should be unturned when searching for your passion. The portfolio career is based on various income streams in various areas. So you can become a therapist on Saturdays (should you have the studies) and then a fitness instructor in the mornings and afternoon, and work as a Banker from Monday to Friday. You can also have a hobby like cooking that encourages you to create your own recipes and change others, ultimately getting you to write a cookbook, and then also perhaps find time in between all this to actually write a blog, spend time with friends and do things that are not income streams but still part of your life as a person.
Ive always been interested in various things, but never as much as I have been over the past 5-10 years. This is when I left the entertainment industry and started the journey, I suppose, without realizing it back then, on discovering what I am, who I am and where I want to go. I think this is worth research, and research I do. I am still in a job that I don’t like, but I am researching the other possibilities that allow me my various outlets of my artistic side.
I am a mentor and I am a good friend as well as being a human being and a mess at times. I have good days and bad days and to make me all the more human – I snore and I fart! But inside me there is a heart the size of Africa, with a spirit as old as Europe and the energy the size of the Americas. I sometimes think my brain is the size of Ibiza, yet I know for all these things to happen in this body of mine, there must be some good that comes out of Ibiza, and powerful enough to keep it working, moving and being strong.
Somewhere in this world of mine I know I will find the clues that I seek to help me fulfill my passions, as I do believe there are many, so the Diversity of topics I may write about are the various parts of my world that are more prominent on that particular day. The diversity in career re portfolio career, is something that I aim for.
I love the fact that this was brought up to me because I do write about the various things that I am going through, what I want to do and dreams I want to achieve. Its this diversification that has made me friends with all the special people in my life and the diversity of the friends in themselves, you being one of them and very prominently as well just for making time to read the blog.
I love the diversity in my life, and Im trying to be honest in these diversities that I am challenged with on a day to day basis. It makes for an exciting life albeit lonely at times as I realize while going in search of the things that are making up my autobiography. My autobiography of my life as I live it.
Im looking for the Diversity in my passions to help me create this portfolio career and the various income streams to help me discover more and more of the other diversities that I have yet to encounter.
Maybe I am a Jack of all trades Master of none, but by golly – I love the interesting paths that I encounter along the way in this journey of mine - because more importantly than anything, I am the MASTER of my own world.
My Life Coach back in Europe that I was working with while there, introduced me to a topic, unknown to me at the time, and something that Ive mentioned in a previous posting; THE PORTFOLIO CAREER.
Apparently many people are getting into it. Its that many people are faced with the same situation that I am – the love of many different areas. I love many things and Im interested in more, which Ive not even come to yet. I try them all when they come into my life as I don’t believe that any stone should be unturned when searching for your passion. The portfolio career is based on various income streams in various areas. So you can become a therapist on Saturdays (should you have the studies) and then a fitness instructor in the mornings and afternoon, and work as a Banker from Monday to Friday. You can also have a hobby like cooking that encourages you to create your own recipes and change others, ultimately getting you to write a cookbook, and then also perhaps find time in between all this to actually write a blog, spend time with friends and do things that are not income streams but still part of your life as a person.
Ive always been interested in various things, but never as much as I have been over the past 5-10 years. This is when I left the entertainment industry and started the journey, I suppose, without realizing it back then, on discovering what I am, who I am and where I want to go. I think this is worth research, and research I do. I am still in a job that I don’t like, but I am researching the other possibilities that allow me my various outlets of my artistic side.
I am a mentor and I am a good friend as well as being a human being and a mess at times. I have good days and bad days and to make me all the more human – I snore and I fart! But inside me there is a heart the size of Africa, with a spirit as old as Europe and the energy the size of the Americas. I sometimes think my brain is the size of Ibiza, yet I know for all these things to happen in this body of mine, there must be some good that comes out of Ibiza, and powerful enough to keep it working, moving and being strong.
Somewhere in this world of mine I know I will find the clues that I seek to help me fulfill my passions, as I do believe there are many, so the Diversity of topics I may write about are the various parts of my world that are more prominent on that particular day. The diversity in career re portfolio career, is something that I aim for.
I love the fact that this was brought up to me because I do write about the various things that I am going through, what I want to do and dreams I want to achieve. Its this diversification that has made me friends with all the special people in my life and the diversity of the friends in themselves, you being one of them and very prominently as well just for making time to read the blog.
I love the diversity in my life, and Im trying to be honest in these diversities that I am challenged with on a day to day basis. It makes for an exciting life albeit lonely at times as I realize while going in search of the things that are making up my autobiography. My autobiography of my life as I live it.
Im looking for the Diversity in my passions to help me create this portfolio career and the various income streams to help me discover more and more of the other diversities that I have yet to encounter.
Maybe I am a Jack of all trades Master of none, but by golly – I love the interesting paths that I encounter along the way in this journey of mine - because more importantly than anything, I am the MASTER of my own world.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Our life’s story
Each and every one of us has a story to tell. Our friends tell us what happened in their day, the ladies go to tea to discuss what they are doing with themselves and children create stories to make their lives a little more interesting. We all have a story to tell.
Now look at your life and think about all the stories you have to tell of things that have happened in your life. Look at what the story was – it probably had a start, middle and an end. It may have been a funny thing that happened when you were at school or a sad story of something you experienced and an interesting story of how you came out of a situation that was rough. We all have many stories to tell.
We are all living our own Autobiography. We may not think that it’s as interesting as many of the famous ‘autobiographies’ that we see, hear about and read but it is unique, because its our own autobiography. We are living it as we walk, talk, breath, eat or sleep. We always have something to say to our friends, to our family or to our children and it’s a real story that we have lived through, experienced and talked about, no matter how trivial or how grand it was.
As children many of us would have a diary where we wrote of about our day's happenings. It was a journal of our life as we were living it. As we get older we find that we have less time to do this and so many of the things go un-noted, and many times forgotten, until something triggers that particular story to bring it back into our conscious mind again.
Think back to the 'old days' when that generation would tell stories thus passing them on from generation to generation; some wonderful stories that in our modern day life-style we tend to forget or not continue telling and thus they get lost. From many of these stories we can learn a lesson or get an idea or perhaps even find a solution to a modern day challenge. Some stories we hold close to our hearts and they ring true to us in our everyday lives.
Ive found that by writing down the stories that happen to me, the challenges and the difficulties, I seem to come out feeling better. I get the difficulties off my chest to release them from my soul and I have a chuckle as I remember a sweet story and what happened in the situation. Its also a great way to have a look at it on paper, and often enough help you see it in a different light. They are also great to go back to - to re-read and remember. In the difficult times they become a companion to us to see what has happened, what we have achieved and often to show us that things are not as dire as they may seem while we are living the experience.
When I am angry or need to get something off my chest that is building up, I write it down and then burn the pages. My ritual, that I probably don’t do as often as I should, but I still do it and it feels like finality has been achieved to whatever it may be that I want to release.
I remember taking a few hours to write a letter, pre computers and email. It was a fantastic way of sharing what was happening in my life with friends and loved ones. Hand written letters with spelling mistakes and many times illegible because I would get so excited about what I was writing, or a story that I was telling. Even then we had a story to tell, and now we also have stories to tell, but we use the computers to do it with and the youngest schoolboy now probably types quicker than what a normal secretary would do in the old days when type writing. How times have changed, but how many stories are still the same, just a different place and time, with different participants.
I think its good to write these stories down. I think its good to also write down what it is you want to happen in your life. You are then making your own blue print of how you want your life to go. I believe us all to be natural story tellers but not natural writers so don’t let it stop you if you can’t write - I know I havent loet it stop me. You are the one that needs to understand it and if you are creating the blueprint to your life, you will understand it because it’ll be fresh in your memory and in front of your eyes as you read it.
You can have a start – what you want to achieve.
You can have a middle – what plan you have to make it happen
You can have an end – how did you achieve it, what you are feeling and what did you learn or better still, what plans has it inspired for your next story!
You can create your own life plan and make it work and happen as you see fit.
Perhaps we should all go back to journal writing and re write what we want in our lives.
Perhaps we should make notes of our life as it happens to be able to remind us of all we have achieved, when things get rough.
Let’s all take action and lets all start writing our life as we want it to be.
"Write for the pleasure of writing. As the pen traces out words on the paper, your anguish disappears and your happiness remains. For this to happen, it is necessary to have the courage to look deep inside yourself." – Paulo Coelho
Now look at your life and think about all the stories you have to tell of things that have happened in your life. Look at what the story was – it probably had a start, middle and an end. It may have been a funny thing that happened when you were at school or a sad story of something you experienced and an interesting story of how you came out of a situation that was rough. We all have many stories to tell.
We are all living our own Autobiography. We may not think that it’s as interesting as many of the famous ‘autobiographies’ that we see, hear about and read but it is unique, because its our own autobiography. We are living it as we walk, talk, breath, eat or sleep. We always have something to say to our friends, to our family or to our children and it’s a real story that we have lived through, experienced and talked about, no matter how trivial or how grand it was.
As children many of us would have a diary where we wrote of about our day's happenings. It was a journal of our life as we were living it. As we get older we find that we have less time to do this and so many of the things go un-noted, and many times forgotten, until something triggers that particular story to bring it back into our conscious mind again.
Think back to the 'old days' when that generation would tell stories thus passing them on from generation to generation; some wonderful stories that in our modern day life-style we tend to forget or not continue telling and thus they get lost. From many of these stories we can learn a lesson or get an idea or perhaps even find a solution to a modern day challenge. Some stories we hold close to our hearts and they ring true to us in our everyday lives.
Ive found that by writing down the stories that happen to me, the challenges and the difficulties, I seem to come out feeling better. I get the difficulties off my chest to release them from my soul and I have a chuckle as I remember a sweet story and what happened in the situation. Its also a great way to have a look at it on paper, and often enough help you see it in a different light. They are also great to go back to - to re-read and remember. In the difficult times they become a companion to us to see what has happened, what we have achieved and often to show us that things are not as dire as they may seem while we are living the experience.
When I am angry or need to get something off my chest that is building up, I write it down and then burn the pages. My ritual, that I probably don’t do as often as I should, but I still do it and it feels like finality has been achieved to whatever it may be that I want to release.
I remember taking a few hours to write a letter, pre computers and email. It was a fantastic way of sharing what was happening in my life with friends and loved ones. Hand written letters with spelling mistakes and many times illegible because I would get so excited about what I was writing, or a story that I was telling. Even then we had a story to tell, and now we also have stories to tell, but we use the computers to do it with and the youngest schoolboy now probably types quicker than what a normal secretary would do in the old days when type writing. How times have changed, but how many stories are still the same, just a different place and time, with different participants.
I think its good to write these stories down. I think its good to also write down what it is you want to happen in your life. You are then making your own blue print of how you want your life to go. I believe us all to be natural story tellers but not natural writers so don’t let it stop you if you can’t write - I know I havent loet it stop me. You are the one that needs to understand it and if you are creating the blueprint to your life, you will understand it because it’ll be fresh in your memory and in front of your eyes as you read it.
You can have a start – what you want to achieve.
You can have a middle – what plan you have to make it happen
You can have an end – how did you achieve it, what you are feeling and what did you learn or better still, what plans has it inspired for your next story!
You can create your own life plan and make it work and happen as you see fit.
Perhaps we should all go back to journal writing and re write what we want in our lives.
Perhaps we should make notes of our life as it happens to be able to remind us of all we have achieved, when things get rough.
Let’s all take action and lets all start writing our life as we want it to be.
"Write for the pleasure of writing. As the pen traces out words on the paper, your anguish disappears and your happiness remains. For this to happen, it is necessary to have the courage to look deep inside yourself." – Paulo Coelho
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Hope Lives in us all!
One of the things Ive been dealing with and having around me is heartbreak. Heartbreak is the worst pain to go through because there is nothing physically broken, yet it seems worse than a serious broken bone, and sometimes the healing process is a lot longer. It’s a unique pain and it has a ripple effect in our lives because it brings up tons of other emotions that seem worse than they normally do in other situations.
Its not a pain like indigestion or what many call ‘heart burn’ and is not a symptom that can be solved with Pepto Bismal, Rennies or milk. It’s a pain that hurts your core, eats at your mind and gives you restless nights. It happens because of the expectancy we have in others and them not wanting us. Its never easy and is not something that you get experience in because each time you experience it, its different.
Unfortunately no matter what I read about how to get over this pain or how many people I speak to, councilors included, I realize that Im concentrating on the problem more and more. I don’t want to grieve because I believe in Hope
Hope is something that I live with everyday. Hope is something that makes me know that at the end of the rainbow there is a pot of gold. Hope is a belief that things can work out for the best and that the possibilities in life are endless. Hope that a family doesn’t get broken up. Hope that you will find yourself again. Hope that the sun will come out tomorrow. I think hope is a spiritual feeling and lived with as one does with your religion or your faith. I can’t switch my love off if I have it in me. I don’t understand how others can, so I prefer to live my life with hope. It’s a choice - My choice.
Hope is something you carry in your heart and wear on your sleeve. Its an aura that surrounds you and you believe in. I suppose grieving is important when you believe its completely over, but until such time I have hope.
I have my heart in the right place.
I have my love in tact.
I have my hope that all will be revealed and that tomorrow the sun will come out and rise in the east.
Hope still hurts though, as the silence is deafening. Perhaps the deafening silence gives me time to listen to things I’ve never heard before.
Its not a pain like indigestion or what many call ‘heart burn’ and is not a symptom that can be solved with Pepto Bismal, Rennies or milk. It’s a pain that hurts your core, eats at your mind and gives you restless nights. It happens because of the expectancy we have in others and them not wanting us. Its never easy and is not something that you get experience in because each time you experience it, its different.
Unfortunately no matter what I read about how to get over this pain or how many people I speak to, councilors included, I realize that Im concentrating on the problem more and more. I don’t want to grieve because I believe in Hope
Hope is something that I live with everyday. Hope is something that makes me know that at the end of the rainbow there is a pot of gold. Hope is a belief that things can work out for the best and that the possibilities in life are endless. Hope that a family doesn’t get broken up. Hope that you will find yourself again. Hope that the sun will come out tomorrow. I think hope is a spiritual feeling and lived with as one does with your religion or your faith. I can’t switch my love off if I have it in me. I don’t understand how others can, so I prefer to live my life with hope. It’s a choice - My choice.
Hope is something you carry in your heart and wear on your sleeve. Its an aura that surrounds you and you believe in. I suppose grieving is important when you believe its completely over, but until such time I have hope.
I have my heart in the right place.
I have my love in tact.
I have my hope that all will be revealed and that tomorrow the sun will come out and rise in the east.
Hope still hurts though, as the silence is deafening. Perhaps the deafening silence gives me time to listen to things I’ve never heard before.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Habits
Habits are something we all have. We mostly do them unconsciously and they become second nature to us only when we learn to do them on a conscious level. If you look at a person who is learning to smoke, they fumble at first with the cigarette, then don’t always get the lighter to work on the first flick of the finger, but look at the same person a few months later and it’s as if they are doing it with ease, experience and it comes across as natural to them and who they are.
What am I getting to about habits? I think its something I’ve been looking at a lot lately through my mental and emotional states and the habit forms I have with these. I spoke about my motivation and how I lay in bed and get excited about the day – it’s a habit. I spoke about my fear of anyone getting to know what I am feeling – another habit. I then started realizing that for things to change in these areas I need to change my habits.
I’ve been watching people around me. I see that some people, who are excited by life, attract others who are excited by life. The people that are attracted by these ‘life-lovers’ are not always themselves in that euphoric state yet, but are hanging with the ‘life-lovers’ to feed off them, learn from them and perhaps copy them, as habits are contagious in my eyes.
By consciously making a shift in my thinking I can become aware of my habits and how I want to change them. I also realize that I need to know specifically which ones I want to change and constantly work on them. I need to know that not everything has success from the word GO, but through perseverance and working at it, I will have new habits and in a few months won’t even be aware of how I do them any longer as they will become second nature to me.
A personal example I have that I keep reminding myself of; when I started in the Finance Industry, I would have to generate leads. I would meet people get their telephone numbers and then at a later hour, or day, I would need to contact these leads to set up appointments. I had so much difficulty making the calls. I even remember that a friend who sat with me as I made my very first call, laughed at me as I hung up and he asked me: “WHY are you so nervous?” I had a nervous timbre in my voice, my heart was beating loudly in my ears and my hand was shaking.
I look at how I make calls today, 6 years later, and I see that I am completely calm, I have a smile on my face, I speak with confidence and the telephone has become second nature to me.
I then think to myself – If I can do it with a telephone, why not with my personal mental and emotional habits as well? I want to change some of them and I want to wear them as a proud part of me and my soul as I walk through life.
Stripping yourself bare is hard at the best of times, but it allows us, as individuals, to grow. It’s not a rebirth but most certainly the feeling of spring after long cold winter. Everything starts growing again, looking fresh and clean and blossoms come out to just make one feel, well, happy. But you have to go through the stripping bare to get to that spring feeling and if you realize you are going to come out feeling springy than the goal is well worth the reward. But to get to that point we need to understand what it is we want to change about ourselves.
Our emotional habits and our mental habits are probably the hardest ones to break.
The mental habits are the ones that cause us to snap when we should hold our tongue. They make us say nasty things at times, and lest not forget how many of us have said hurtful things in arguments, when the words just seem to flow out of our mouths and we actually don’t really mean them. Later we regret ever having said them. Most of all it’s sometimes used as a below the belt tactic to really get that sting of what we are saying, to be felt. And we all know what it feels like when it’s done to us. Its things that we land up going over in our minds for days after wards, and feel really hurt by because it’s that kick in the groin that just won’t go away.
The emotional ones I think are the ones that are instigated by us, for some unknown reason. We flirt with someone and things go a bit too far and then we are left with wanting more but in reality the feeling is not felt on both sides. It takes the wind out of our sails and we mope around waiting expectantly for it to change, but it doesn’t.
These are just two examples that I can give right now as I am in the process of working through my own mental and emotional habits as we speak. It takes a lot of self control and patience to break these habits, but I believe they can be broken. You will have your own examples and I can guarantee you that there must be at least 10 things that we each do that we don’t like doing, but due to force of habit they just happen. What I’m trying to find is the trigger. What triggers these reactions, these thoughts and these emotions? What is the trigger that makes us flip a lid, or get jealous?
In some instances we may seek professional help but I personally believe that if we start seeing what triggers these habits to play up, we will well be able to break the habit. Of course we have to want to change in the first place and I do, so I’m seeking within myself what I want to change and what triggers the reaction.
What am I getting to about habits? I think its something I’ve been looking at a lot lately through my mental and emotional states and the habit forms I have with these. I spoke about my motivation and how I lay in bed and get excited about the day – it’s a habit. I spoke about my fear of anyone getting to know what I am feeling – another habit. I then started realizing that for things to change in these areas I need to change my habits.
I’ve been watching people around me. I see that some people, who are excited by life, attract others who are excited by life. The people that are attracted by these ‘life-lovers’ are not always themselves in that euphoric state yet, but are hanging with the ‘life-lovers’ to feed off them, learn from them and perhaps copy them, as habits are contagious in my eyes.
By consciously making a shift in my thinking I can become aware of my habits and how I want to change them. I also realize that I need to know specifically which ones I want to change and constantly work on them. I need to know that not everything has success from the word GO, but through perseverance and working at it, I will have new habits and in a few months won’t even be aware of how I do them any longer as they will become second nature to me.
A personal example I have that I keep reminding myself of; when I started in the Finance Industry, I would have to generate leads. I would meet people get their telephone numbers and then at a later hour, or day, I would need to contact these leads to set up appointments. I had so much difficulty making the calls. I even remember that a friend who sat with me as I made my very first call, laughed at me as I hung up and he asked me: “WHY are you so nervous?” I had a nervous timbre in my voice, my heart was beating loudly in my ears and my hand was shaking.
I look at how I make calls today, 6 years later, and I see that I am completely calm, I have a smile on my face, I speak with confidence and the telephone has become second nature to me.
I then think to myself – If I can do it with a telephone, why not with my personal mental and emotional habits as well? I want to change some of them and I want to wear them as a proud part of me and my soul as I walk through life.
Stripping yourself bare is hard at the best of times, but it allows us, as individuals, to grow. It’s not a rebirth but most certainly the feeling of spring after long cold winter. Everything starts growing again, looking fresh and clean and blossoms come out to just make one feel, well, happy. But you have to go through the stripping bare to get to that spring feeling and if you realize you are going to come out feeling springy than the goal is well worth the reward. But to get to that point we need to understand what it is we want to change about ourselves.
Our emotional habits and our mental habits are probably the hardest ones to break.
The mental habits are the ones that cause us to snap when we should hold our tongue. They make us say nasty things at times, and lest not forget how many of us have said hurtful things in arguments, when the words just seem to flow out of our mouths and we actually don’t really mean them. Later we regret ever having said them. Most of all it’s sometimes used as a below the belt tactic to really get that sting of what we are saying, to be felt. And we all know what it feels like when it’s done to us. Its things that we land up going over in our minds for days after wards, and feel really hurt by because it’s that kick in the groin that just won’t go away.
The emotional ones I think are the ones that are instigated by us, for some unknown reason. We flirt with someone and things go a bit too far and then we are left with wanting more but in reality the feeling is not felt on both sides. It takes the wind out of our sails and we mope around waiting expectantly for it to change, but it doesn’t.
These are just two examples that I can give right now as I am in the process of working through my own mental and emotional habits as we speak. It takes a lot of self control and patience to break these habits, but I believe they can be broken. You will have your own examples and I can guarantee you that there must be at least 10 things that we each do that we don’t like doing, but due to force of habit they just happen. What I’m trying to find is the trigger. What triggers these reactions, these thoughts and these emotions? What is the trigger that makes us flip a lid, or get jealous?
In some instances we may seek professional help but I personally believe that if we start seeing what triggers these habits to play up, we will well be able to break the habit. Of course we have to want to change in the first place and I do, so I’m seeking within myself what I want to change and what triggers the reaction.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
The Energy that flows through us all
I am an energetic person. I am 45 with the energy of a bouncing hyperactive 25 year old, and I seem to get more energy the older I get. My brother is an energetic person, and at 49 years old he has the energy of a 29 year old. Why is this? What allows us to have this energy which seems constantly accessible, to a point, and how do we generate this amount of voltage in our system that at times seems to be enough voltage to run Las Vegas for a month?
Yet the way we both use our energy is so, so different. Or is it?
The energy that seems to flow through each of us on a day to day basis depends on how we awake each morning and how we channel it through our moods. Some days we awake feeling pooped and the way we move through the day is sluggish, and slow. On other days we awake hearing the birds sing and we just have a spring in our step, and the whole day has us bouncing around as if walking with spring shoes on, head held high and seeing life through rose coloured glasses. How then is it that the energy I have seems to hit me when I am in bed? I hate laying in bed as I feel like my body is going to sleep and I don’t like the feeling of pins and needles in my butt and legs as I lay on the sheets, and I tend to get very hot.
My way of being is generally that of being motivated to get up and discover a new day. Each day has its surprises and disappointments. Some we take more personally and others we just brush off as unimportant – and this is all dependent on the frame of mind we are in. Other days the things that irritate us are bearable and we just laugh and get on with it, not being bothered by them at all.
I think this energy flow is something unique to each and every one of us. We go out looking, expecting and searching for things to happen and they don’t. Could this be that our energy level is misaligned to our actual thought processes or are we just not getting what we want because the universe does not have them planned for us OR, we actually don’t really want them in the first place, but just don’t own up to it. On other days we go out with a controlled energy as to not expecting, not searching, not wanting things to happen, and then EVERYTHING happens!
Im very conscious of my energy, I have to be as often I need to tone it down because I am so excited by life. This makes me talk loudly, and then I get told shhhhhhh, or I get passionate about a discussion and it comes across as an argument, because of how forceful I feel and discuss the topic. It’s obviously embarrassing to those that surround me as its been brought to my attention, and often times totally misunderstood. But that’s how I’ve felt all my life, misunderstood. My energy levels seem to be understood by others with the same energy levels and I suppose that’s where the law of attraction falls into place, and what sometimes makes opposites attract.
I’m trying so hard to learn how to control my energy and channel it to do what I want it to do, and as you can imagine, not too easy at times. Yesterday was an exceptionally busy day for me. I had a lot of paper work, 5 clients to see in different parts of Cape Town dealing with traffic and then talking calmly about the client’s financial needs. By the time I got home I had more paper work to do, and it was only 3 pm. By 4 o’clock I was in the gym and did a 45 minute weight session, came home again, changed and then went to a ballet lesson for an hour. When I got home I cooked dinner for a girlfriend and we sat chatting afterwards till about 10. Then I seemed to get creative thoughts and got a lot of little personal projects going, writing my blog and rechecking paperwork for the clients I saw today. I got to bed by 2.30 this morning and awoke again at 6.30.
And still I don’t feel like I have channelled my energies to how I want them to be used, and I suppose that would be in finding a balance - a balance of how to use this abundance that I have and want to share with the world. A balance of channelling the energy I have that seems to boil inside of me looking for the vent to escape. What makes my body so different with the abundance that I have inside of physical energy, mental energy and emotional energy?
The life coach I had in Spain got me on track to help me sort my life out, for myself, and also challenge myself to what I can and will do with the rest of my life. It’s made me realise that I am very much aware of what I can do but I am in the process of trying to discover, or perhaps challenge myself further, into how to channel these energies into getting done what I want to do. But there is so much I want to do – and now I realise that I must use this energy to focus on one thing at a time. It’s not easy for me as I tend to be busy with 4 different things at the same time but I am learning to sit still and write the blog on a daily basis. That is such a huge step for me as I am now channelling energy through the blog to people I know and don’t know.
Can I take this further and delve into the portfolio career that my coach thought I should look into? I’m trying my hardest to discover myself, discover my interests and discover my true path in life. Isn’t it amazing that I have so much energy supply to help me in this search?
When last have you looked at your energies and how you utilize them? It’s really an uplifting experience to become aware of what flows through you. Try it.
I give thanks for it every morning and every night when I go to bed.
Yet the way we both use our energy is so, so different. Or is it?
The energy that seems to flow through each of us on a day to day basis depends on how we awake each morning and how we channel it through our moods. Some days we awake feeling pooped and the way we move through the day is sluggish, and slow. On other days we awake hearing the birds sing and we just have a spring in our step, and the whole day has us bouncing around as if walking with spring shoes on, head held high and seeing life through rose coloured glasses. How then is it that the energy I have seems to hit me when I am in bed? I hate laying in bed as I feel like my body is going to sleep and I don’t like the feeling of pins and needles in my butt and legs as I lay on the sheets, and I tend to get very hot.
My way of being is generally that of being motivated to get up and discover a new day. Each day has its surprises and disappointments. Some we take more personally and others we just brush off as unimportant – and this is all dependent on the frame of mind we are in. Other days the things that irritate us are bearable and we just laugh and get on with it, not being bothered by them at all.
I think this energy flow is something unique to each and every one of us. We go out looking, expecting and searching for things to happen and they don’t. Could this be that our energy level is misaligned to our actual thought processes or are we just not getting what we want because the universe does not have them planned for us OR, we actually don’t really want them in the first place, but just don’t own up to it. On other days we go out with a controlled energy as to not expecting, not searching, not wanting things to happen, and then EVERYTHING happens!
Im very conscious of my energy, I have to be as often I need to tone it down because I am so excited by life. This makes me talk loudly, and then I get told shhhhhhh, or I get passionate about a discussion and it comes across as an argument, because of how forceful I feel and discuss the topic. It’s obviously embarrassing to those that surround me as its been brought to my attention, and often times totally misunderstood. But that’s how I’ve felt all my life, misunderstood. My energy levels seem to be understood by others with the same energy levels and I suppose that’s where the law of attraction falls into place, and what sometimes makes opposites attract.
I’m trying so hard to learn how to control my energy and channel it to do what I want it to do, and as you can imagine, not too easy at times. Yesterday was an exceptionally busy day for me. I had a lot of paper work, 5 clients to see in different parts of Cape Town dealing with traffic and then talking calmly about the client’s financial needs. By the time I got home I had more paper work to do, and it was only 3 pm. By 4 o’clock I was in the gym and did a 45 minute weight session, came home again, changed and then went to a ballet lesson for an hour. When I got home I cooked dinner for a girlfriend and we sat chatting afterwards till about 10. Then I seemed to get creative thoughts and got a lot of little personal projects going, writing my blog and rechecking paperwork for the clients I saw today. I got to bed by 2.30 this morning and awoke again at 6.30.
And still I don’t feel like I have channelled my energies to how I want them to be used, and I suppose that would be in finding a balance - a balance of how to use this abundance that I have and want to share with the world. A balance of channelling the energy I have that seems to boil inside of me looking for the vent to escape. What makes my body so different with the abundance that I have inside of physical energy, mental energy and emotional energy?
The life coach I had in Spain got me on track to help me sort my life out, for myself, and also challenge myself to what I can and will do with the rest of my life. It’s made me realise that I am very much aware of what I can do but I am in the process of trying to discover, or perhaps challenge myself further, into how to channel these energies into getting done what I want to do. But there is so much I want to do – and now I realise that I must use this energy to focus on one thing at a time. It’s not easy for me as I tend to be busy with 4 different things at the same time but I am learning to sit still and write the blog on a daily basis. That is such a huge step for me as I am now channelling energy through the blog to people I know and don’t know.
Can I take this further and delve into the portfolio career that my coach thought I should look into? I’m trying my hardest to discover myself, discover my interests and discover my true path in life. Isn’t it amazing that I have so much energy supply to help me in this search?
When last have you looked at your energies and how you utilize them? It’s really an uplifting experience to become aware of what flows through you. Try it.
I give thanks for it every morning and every night when I go to bed.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Selflessness – what is it?
The most interesting question was posed on Facebook yesterday by a friend who lives in France and the question read: Can anyone suggest to me a 'selfless deed'?
I responded without even thinking: giving your time, without any expectancy of a return, except through seeing the joy in another’s eyes as you do it. Finding the right moment is important and the right place, but you will know it when you do it, as you will feel the bliss of happiness because someone else is receiving the joy that you contributed towards and yet the only thing you got in return was the good feeling in your heart!
To which he responded: very nice. I understand you and love your way of thinking.
I always knew that you are a very kind and giving man ;) but I am looking for even more selfless than that; meaning, even the return of self satisfaction (the blissful happiness), no benefit for me whatsoever. Complete selflessness....
So, always up for a challenge, and wanting to learn more for myself, I clicked on the good old GOOGLE startup page and typed in “Selflessness, definition”. There were lots of links available so I went to Wikipedia as the way everything is written and explained there seems to make sense to me.
Wikipedia definition – the act of sacrificing one’s own interest for the greater good.
It also refers to Altruism, a word I’ve never heard before (I am learning a lot!) which is – a selfless concern for the welfare of others, opposite to selfishness!
GOOD GOLLY MOLLY! What the...! Now is this not an interesting topic? I had so much going through my mind. Mother Teresa and the good she has done in the world, even Princess Diana, Gandhi, Jesus, Mohammed, and all the biggies that we so readily see and hear about through our own personal upbringing and also the press, books and television.
Then I thought about me, and do I consider myself to be selfless and if not how can I go about being selfless?
I am a person who likes to do things for others. I like to help where I can and I prefer taking control to make others feel comfortable, relaxed and at ease. Does this mean I’m selfless? My intentions may be in a selfless way but the outcome does not really fall into the definition according to what I read. Is it because I do it intentionally that I am actually rather being selfish in my ways, because I like doing it and because I want to get the satisfaction of seeing that others are enjoying themselves? Am I being selfish by taking control of the situation and just doing it, or should I sit back and let others offer their selflessness so that I can enjoy what they do in return?
I don’t know what to say! I’m actually stumped for words. I’ve been told that I am selfish because I don’t let others help or because I always want to be in control. I’ve been told that I’m a nice guy who offers up his time and resources where possible. I’ve been told so many things over my life time that coming across this question, I find myself doubting myself and my intentions. Then it got me thinking, what does my heart feel?
I know that I want to do the best that I can for whoever surrounds me at all times, be it helping unpack their closet, listening to them offload their problems, cooking dinner for them or just making sure they are tucked in bed because they have the flue. My intentions are always meant to be good because I think I am a nurturer. I like looking after people but does that make me selfless or selfish? Is the fact that I look after my ‘family’ just expected from me as a man or is it that because I am a man I feel that that’s what society expects of me and so I unconsciously give in to the so-called peer pressure? As a man do I see things differently to the way a woman would see it? That’s another topic completely but I do believe that yes, men are different to woman, and because of that I’m starting to wonder – am I selflessly giving of myself but in a selfish way because of what is expected of me?
There seems to be such a fine unseen line between the two. What I like about the question is that it gives me room to think about what I’m doing and what the results are that I am expecting when I do them. I then realized, perhaps that’s what makes me a selfish person – the fact that I am looking at what result I get from it, even if it’s only a smile.
Is it possible to be completely selfless without expecting something in return no matter how small or insignificant? I think I have a lot to learn on the subject and learn how to differentiate the two that are split by a fine line and yet stand on opposite sides of the wheel.
This in itself motivates me to help more, expect less and give of myself in a nurturing way without having to think about what I expect, be it consciously or unconsciously.
Can we actually consciously find selflessness, or is it something that just happens at the spur of the moment and then we move on? On the other hand is it about not being perfect, but at least trying, making a go of it?
I responded without even thinking: giving your time, without any expectancy of a return, except through seeing the joy in another’s eyes as you do it. Finding the right moment is important and the right place, but you will know it when you do it, as you will feel the bliss of happiness because someone else is receiving the joy that you contributed towards and yet the only thing you got in return was the good feeling in your heart!
To which he responded: very nice. I understand you and love your way of thinking.
I always knew that you are a very kind and giving man ;) but I am looking for even more selfless than that; meaning, even the return of self satisfaction (the blissful happiness), no benefit for me whatsoever. Complete selflessness....
So, always up for a challenge, and wanting to learn more for myself, I clicked on the good old GOOGLE startup page and typed in “Selflessness, definition”. There were lots of links available so I went to Wikipedia as the way everything is written and explained there seems to make sense to me.
Wikipedia definition – the act of sacrificing one’s own interest for the greater good.
It also refers to Altruism, a word I’ve never heard before (I am learning a lot!) which is – a selfless concern for the welfare of others, opposite to selfishness!
GOOD GOLLY MOLLY! What the...! Now is this not an interesting topic? I had so much going through my mind. Mother Teresa and the good she has done in the world, even Princess Diana, Gandhi, Jesus, Mohammed, and all the biggies that we so readily see and hear about through our own personal upbringing and also the press, books and television.
Then I thought about me, and do I consider myself to be selfless and if not how can I go about being selfless?
I am a person who likes to do things for others. I like to help where I can and I prefer taking control to make others feel comfortable, relaxed and at ease. Does this mean I’m selfless? My intentions may be in a selfless way but the outcome does not really fall into the definition according to what I read. Is it because I do it intentionally that I am actually rather being selfish in my ways, because I like doing it and because I want to get the satisfaction of seeing that others are enjoying themselves? Am I being selfish by taking control of the situation and just doing it, or should I sit back and let others offer their selflessness so that I can enjoy what they do in return?
I don’t know what to say! I’m actually stumped for words. I’ve been told that I am selfish because I don’t let others help or because I always want to be in control. I’ve been told that I’m a nice guy who offers up his time and resources where possible. I’ve been told so many things over my life time that coming across this question, I find myself doubting myself and my intentions. Then it got me thinking, what does my heart feel?
I know that I want to do the best that I can for whoever surrounds me at all times, be it helping unpack their closet, listening to them offload their problems, cooking dinner for them or just making sure they are tucked in bed because they have the flue. My intentions are always meant to be good because I think I am a nurturer. I like looking after people but does that make me selfless or selfish? Is the fact that I look after my ‘family’ just expected from me as a man or is it that because I am a man I feel that that’s what society expects of me and so I unconsciously give in to the so-called peer pressure? As a man do I see things differently to the way a woman would see it? That’s another topic completely but I do believe that yes, men are different to woman, and because of that I’m starting to wonder – am I selflessly giving of myself but in a selfish way because of what is expected of me?
There seems to be such a fine unseen line between the two. What I like about the question is that it gives me room to think about what I’m doing and what the results are that I am expecting when I do them. I then realized, perhaps that’s what makes me a selfish person – the fact that I am looking at what result I get from it, even if it’s only a smile.
Is it possible to be completely selfless without expecting something in return no matter how small or insignificant? I think I have a lot to learn on the subject and learn how to differentiate the two that are split by a fine line and yet stand on opposite sides of the wheel.
This in itself motivates me to help more, expect less and give of myself in a nurturing way without having to think about what I expect, be it consciously or unconsciously.
Can we actually consciously find selflessness, or is it something that just happens at the spur of the moment and then we move on? On the other hand is it about not being perfect, but at least trying, making a go of it?
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