Refusal and denial are some of the words that come to mind when I look at rejection. We don’t like to be refused or denied and yet we come across it every day.It’s that thorn in our shoe that often enough stops us in our tracks yet so many of us refuse to face up to it. We ourselves are denying that we face it every day.
As children we all have a ‘fancy’ at school, in the play ground or in a shopping mall. We think that it would be great if she gave us a bit of recognition but she is always out with her friends and pays us no attention. Do we find the courage to ask her out, or do we just become voyeurs and not say a word? Does she fancy us, or fancy someone else? What we may not know is that she herself is petrified that you may ask her because she is exceptionally shy. Will these two people ever land up with partners in their lives; most probably.
A singer that goes to an audition finds that there at 10 other singers applying for the same job - very apt in the world’s current financial situation. –but the singer gets to sing the song she has chosen. She thinks her rendition of the song is the best at the audition, but still she does not get the job. She faces rejection and moves on to the next audition and time and again faces the rejection explained above.
When we go out to buy a Madonna, Michael Buble or even Shirley Bassey CD we don’t see the rejection they have faced to get where they are. What we see is the success they are reaping.
Perhaps herein lies the lesson. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, and try again!
The reality that we all deal with rejection daily is a given fact but like all things in our lives’ they do pass and with practice, we eventually get them under our belt, or do we? I think we may get past one point only to be faced with another form of rejection in another area – but hey, isn’t that what life is all about? Constantly growing, constantly learning, constantly changing our objectives, our goals and our ambitions?
Rejection and how we deal with it, in some cases, is done so automatically; on a cold morning the car refuses to start but we keep at it and eventually it starts and we move on. On a personal level though rejection is so much more difficult to face and deal with and I do think that it happens often in the work environment as well. What I am referring to as personal level, is the relationship arena. Break ups, someone we like - not liking us, etc etc etc. Is this reason enough to stop us from pushing ahead with other opportunities that come along?
I think it’s important to face rejection. I think it’s very difficult and I think it’s very personal. What one person sees as a heart wrenching fear another just laughs off. Shit, that irritates me when they can do it and I can’t! How is that? How is it that some people seem to be able to jump from relationship to relationship while the person left behind is suffering tremendously because of the rejection faced? How is it that some people can push ahead at work, regardless of the rejection, and still come out smiling? HOW? Why can’t I be like that? Why do I take everything so personally?
Are we, as a human race, really so different to each other, or is it that some people are better equipped than others in dealing with problems and rejection? Perhaps the up-bring portion of our lives, and the way our parents treated and taught us, is the contributing factor to this equipment. Can someone then please explain to me where I can go find this equipment, because I know no one, myself included, is ever ready for all the types of rejection we are faced with daily?
Is the key to facing rejection simply just perseverance and determination? I think it could be, but in my own life I suddenly feel too tired to keep perseverance at 100% in work situations and probably not determined enough to find the energy to get it back. Perhaps there are times and situations that are so out of our control we should just accept that we are rejected and move on….. and then I think of Richard Branson and his determination to get ahead, and I doubt myself again.
What is the lesson I am suppose to learn from all this and where do I find the book?
What I do believe is that it’s all in the passion we hold and therein we find the answer on how come we can deal with some situational rejection and why not at others!
As hurtful and horrible as it seems, I think that the key to rejection, is passion!
my pics
True happiness shared!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
My meditation balloon
I watched the movie Evita last night and there is a song that is so catchy and relevant to many of us at the moment. “…so what happens now, so what happens now…. Where am I going to?”
We all reach a point in our lives where we have to take stock of our lives. We need to take stock of where we are, where we’ve been and where we are aiming to get to. Not an easy task at all. Sometimes we realize there is so much baggage that we’ve collected along the way that is really slowing us down, and then the task to get rid of that said baggage is what leaves us in a little turmoil.
I think it’s one of the best processes we can do for ourselves and our lives. It’s like looking at your cupboard filled with so much clothing that never gets worn, things that are now to big or to small and other things we keep just because they have sentimental value but really worthless in the cupboard because it leaves us with no space for new clothes.
That cupboard could be the representation of our thoughts, our emotions, our aims and ambitions. Something we all need to look at every now and then to clear out what is not needed to make space for other newer better thoughts, emotions, aims and ambitions.
Life changes constantly and we are changing constantly. The sum of our lives is what we did yesterday! Is it still useable today? Is it still valid? Has the ‘past by’ date expired on many of these things? Do we perhaps find things we love and cherish hidden amongst all the extra clothes and they are now more useable than before?
Only I will know what is right and to be kept in my cupboard. Sometimes the decision to get rid of things is very difficult and draining, but we know that we are faced with the reality that it is holding us down. So, do we sink or swim? Time spent alone with our self is the most valuable time that any of us have in this life. It’s our time to recharge our batteries.
Meditation is vital for everyday life and I am forcing myself ‘down-time’ to do just that. Not an easy thing to just sit and try clear my mind of everything to see what a clear slate will look like. At first it seems like a game with worms crawling into the thought area. But it does get easier to get rid of those worms. Practice makes perfect in every area of our life and that is also true to our thoughts and meditation.
I use a helium balloon. I close my eyes and concentrate on every detail of a helium balloon. Mine is a red balloon with a blue ribbon (thin ribbon), tied to the knotted part at the bottom of the red balloon. It’s a beautiful clear blue sky. I see my hand holding the ribbon that is attached to the helium balloon and then I watch the balloon as my hand releases the ribbon. As the balloon rises I see it grow smaller and smaller as it goes up. Eventually the balloon is a spec, then it disappears. My thought space is now a clear blue sky with nothing in it but the colour blue.
It’s amazing how much (and in the beginning how little) one can do with a clean slate! I am a work in progress. I am looking at all the options available to me, without restricting myself. These are my thoughts and my meditations and also my method of how I get to that state. Try it. Do it daily. Take time to clear that closet of yours. Take time to find space for all those wonderful positive new things that can be placed into it. It not only helps you feel better, refreshed and recharged, but it also puts you in a better mood.
We all reach a point in our lives where we have to take stock of our lives. We need to take stock of where we are, where we’ve been and where we are aiming to get to. Not an easy task at all. Sometimes we realize there is so much baggage that we’ve collected along the way that is really slowing us down, and then the task to get rid of that said baggage is what leaves us in a little turmoil.
I think it’s one of the best processes we can do for ourselves and our lives. It’s like looking at your cupboard filled with so much clothing that never gets worn, things that are now to big or to small and other things we keep just because they have sentimental value but really worthless in the cupboard because it leaves us with no space for new clothes.
That cupboard could be the representation of our thoughts, our emotions, our aims and ambitions. Something we all need to look at every now and then to clear out what is not needed to make space for other newer better thoughts, emotions, aims and ambitions.
Life changes constantly and we are changing constantly. The sum of our lives is what we did yesterday! Is it still useable today? Is it still valid? Has the ‘past by’ date expired on many of these things? Do we perhaps find things we love and cherish hidden amongst all the extra clothes and they are now more useable than before?
Only I will know what is right and to be kept in my cupboard. Sometimes the decision to get rid of things is very difficult and draining, but we know that we are faced with the reality that it is holding us down. So, do we sink or swim? Time spent alone with our self is the most valuable time that any of us have in this life. It’s our time to recharge our batteries.
Meditation is vital for everyday life and I am forcing myself ‘down-time’ to do just that. Not an easy thing to just sit and try clear my mind of everything to see what a clear slate will look like. At first it seems like a game with worms crawling into the thought area. But it does get easier to get rid of those worms. Practice makes perfect in every area of our life and that is also true to our thoughts and meditation.
I use a helium balloon. I close my eyes and concentrate on every detail of a helium balloon. Mine is a red balloon with a blue ribbon (thin ribbon), tied to the knotted part at the bottom of the red balloon. It’s a beautiful clear blue sky. I see my hand holding the ribbon that is attached to the helium balloon and then I watch the balloon as my hand releases the ribbon. As the balloon rises I see it grow smaller and smaller as it goes up. Eventually the balloon is a spec, then it disappears. My thought space is now a clear blue sky with nothing in it but the colour blue.
It’s amazing how much (and in the beginning how little) one can do with a clean slate! I am a work in progress. I am looking at all the options available to me, without restricting myself. These are my thoughts and my meditations and also my method of how I get to that state. Try it. Do it daily. Take time to clear that closet of yours. Take time to find space for all those wonderful positive new things that can be placed into it. It not only helps you feel better, refreshed and recharged, but it also puts you in a better mood.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Passion; the survival formula?
I’ve always been passionate about life. Every day for me is a lovely day and I constantly love watching sunrises and sunsets. These mark the start of, and end of, the glory we have every day – our lives! I fondly remember sailing in Japan and how many of the older Japanese folk would stand on deck and applaud the setting sun. It felt spiritual to me in a way. When I feel directionless, like I feel at the moment, I can generally rely on nature to make me realize how great life really is, with its highs and lows that make us feel alive! At the moment not even the sunrise or sunset is helping for me.
By brother always says ‘find your passion!’ I think it’s so true that we all need to find our passion but every now and then our passion changes, so we go in search of a new passion. I’m in search of that exact passion as we speak and it’s not always easy to find. Today I had time to think about my passions and it seems that I have many things that I like, but am unsure if they are passions.
So, let’s look at what I think ‘being passionate’ is about.
I think it has to be something I like. Something I like a lot! How do I break that difference down is part of the quarry I am in. I seem to have many things that I like and many others that I like A LOT!!!
I think brainstorming sometimes helps when you are with friends. Your friends often pick up on what you are good at and most times you don’t see that. So it’s a good thing to brain storm with those who know you, but it could also confuse matters as it does for me. Then again I go back to - you must like something a lot, and many times the things that you are good at, are things you never thought of as liking, and many times you don’t like them ‘a lot’, you just do them!
I’ve researched my many likes, I’ve often enough even tried them. I know better not to give up my day job until such time as I am sure that I can live off it but in many occasions I would need start up cash to make a go of it and so we circle around to the same thing again. What do I like a lot, to take a chance on?
I also think that we are in such a competitive world that your likes are not only about being good at what you like, but being professional at them as well. If people are going to pay you for something it has to be in a professional notch.
What can I do - that I like - as a professional…. Let me count the ways, without sounding conceited…
I’m not giving up, I think that’s the biggest message. Never give up! Never give up searching if you have not found your passion. It’s the one thing that keeps me moving forward. Richard Branson said, in one of his biographies, that it takes 99 fall downs to make you reach 1 good achievement!
I’ve lost count on how many times I’ve tried, but it does not stop me…. The energized ever-ready bunny!
I do take opinions though so feel free to comment. We all need a helping hand in this life and that is what makes life passionate for me.
We are all in it together!
By brother always says ‘find your passion!’ I think it’s so true that we all need to find our passion but every now and then our passion changes, so we go in search of a new passion. I’m in search of that exact passion as we speak and it’s not always easy to find. Today I had time to think about my passions and it seems that I have many things that I like, but am unsure if they are passions.
So, let’s look at what I think ‘being passionate’ is about.
I think it has to be something I like. Something I like a lot! How do I break that difference down is part of the quarry I am in. I seem to have many things that I like and many others that I like A LOT!!!
I think brainstorming sometimes helps when you are with friends. Your friends often pick up on what you are good at and most times you don’t see that. So it’s a good thing to brain storm with those who know you, but it could also confuse matters as it does for me. Then again I go back to - you must like something a lot, and many times the things that you are good at, are things you never thought of as liking, and many times you don’t like them ‘a lot’, you just do them!
I’ve researched my many likes, I’ve often enough even tried them. I know better not to give up my day job until such time as I am sure that I can live off it but in many occasions I would need start up cash to make a go of it and so we circle around to the same thing again. What do I like a lot, to take a chance on?
I also think that we are in such a competitive world that your likes are not only about being good at what you like, but being professional at them as well. If people are going to pay you for something it has to be in a professional notch.
What can I do - that I like - as a professional…. Let me count the ways, without sounding conceited…
I’m not giving up, I think that’s the biggest message. Never give up! Never give up searching if you have not found your passion. It’s the one thing that keeps me moving forward. Richard Branson said, in one of his biographies, that it takes 99 fall downs to make you reach 1 good achievement!
I’ve lost count on how many times I’ve tried, but it does not stop me…. The energized ever-ready bunny!
I do take opinions though so feel free to comment. We all need a helping hand in this life and that is what makes life passionate for me.
We are all in it together!
Is life being lost in translation?
Every day we communicate with each other and every day I see people being misunderstood yet we all speak the same language! Have you ever watched people from different countries trying to speak to one another?
I speak English and you speak French. I know you can speak very Basic English and yet you do not understand what I am trying to say to you so I raise my voice. Do I really think that you will understand me because I raise my voice? I can vouch for this as I myself have had it done to me. It’s a funny situation really!
The translation that I am referring to however, does not respond to different languages and the speakers of the different languages. It’s the basic communication ‘eloquence’ that we seem to miss in life. I know of two very special people in my life that don’t have this problem when they communicate. I do however, have this problem and although I’m sure it gets very frustrating for my two friends, I know that I am not alone in being like this. In my first posting I mentioned that I am not really a writer, yet I have found it to be a means of outlet for me and what I am going through – and realistically I’m stepping out of my comfort zone doing it.
Do you all understand the way I am writing or are you all just taking your own messages out of the writting as you see them?
We all use sms and email on a daily basis and many a misunderstanding has come from these sms’s and emails. I myself have been part of these types of misunderstanding and have seen it happen many other times with many other people; I have written something down, and had an angry call thereafter, or a reply sms, with TOTALLY the wrong thing being taken out of the message I sent. Ring a bell?
I think it comes from the way we are all feeling at the time we send and receive the message. A simple “I am so happy for you!” can be read in so many ways. My endorphins may be spinning out of control as I write - feeling energized, high and in exceptionally good spirits - while you are feeling low and sensitive and rather down. You read it as a snide remark and retaliate with something hurtful. I am at a loss for words as to where this snide remark comes from!
It’s lost in Translation!
Technology has made the world smaller but also cold and less personal in the process. How do we get the message across that we want to get across in the manner in which it is meant, without anything being misled, misconstrued or simply misunderstood? Is it even possible?
I am a giving person. I give of myself and I have good intentions almost all the time. I am human and I do get angry and I do have a bitching side to me that comes out occasionally but not too often. I give of myself to my friends, my family, my colleagues and my clients with the best of intentions. I have been taken advantage of, because of this, in many instances. I have been misled because of it and when you give of yourself and you get misled it is very hurtful. Am I supposed to become hard, cold and less personal because of it? Are others entitled to take me for granted and cross boundaries because it suits them? I think not.
Am I in this process being lost in translation?
Is it possible for us to live in a world where these translation boundaries get crossed where people understand everything we tell them, take it in the spirit it was originally meant and build on a prosperous future because we all understand one another?
How much are we thankful for and feel blessed for, for getting where we are in life?
Does entitlement allow you to take advantage of certain situations and certain people because you think you can? Why is it that people are not happy for what they have been given, for where they have reached or for how well they are situated?
Is this all being lost in translation?
We all want to get ahead, we all want to be understood and we all want a pat on the back when we have achieved.
Why then does it feel like we are constantly being taken advantage of?
Why are we constantly being hurt?
Is life itself being lost in translation because we all seem to not have time for one another or are some people just out to get what they can while some of us get hurt in the process?
I can only say that I don’t want to be like these people. I work for what I have and I do it in the most honest and giving-of-myself way that I can.
I suppose my translation lesson is that I am just going to have to deal with the hurt and the disappointment in the way that certain messages are giving me.
Life doesn’t suck and I can go to sleep with a clear conscience at night and I am happy for that!
Maybe we just all need a better translation service to make it seem better!
We are nice people after all.
I speak English and you speak French. I know you can speak very Basic English and yet you do not understand what I am trying to say to you so I raise my voice. Do I really think that you will understand me because I raise my voice? I can vouch for this as I myself have had it done to me. It’s a funny situation really!
The translation that I am referring to however, does not respond to different languages and the speakers of the different languages. It’s the basic communication ‘eloquence’ that we seem to miss in life. I know of two very special people in my life that don’t have this problem when they communicate. I do however, have this problem and although I’m sure it gets very frustrating for my two friends, I know that I am not alone in being like this. In my first posting I mentioned that I am not really a writer, yet I have found it to be a means of outlet for me and what I am going through – and realistically I’m stepping out of my comfort zone doing it.
Do you all understand the way I am writing or are you all just taking your own messages out of the writting as you see them?
We all use sms and email on a daily basis and many a misunderstanding has come from these sms’s and emails. I myself have been part of these types of misunderstanding and have seen it happen many other times with many other people; I have written something down, and had an angry call thereafter, or a reply sms, with TOTALLY the wrong thing being taken out of the message I sent. Ring a bell?
I think it comes from the way we are all feeling at the time we send and receive the message. A simple “I am so happy for you!” can be read in so many ways. My endorphins may be spinning out of control as I write - feeling energized, high and in exceptionally good spirits - while you are feeling low and sensitive and rather down. You read it as a snide remark and retaliate with something hurtful. I am at a loss for words as to where this snide remark comes from!
It’s lost in Translation!
Technology has made the world smaller but also cold and less personal in the process. How do we get the message across that we want to get across in the manner in which it is meant, without anything being misled, misconstrued or simply misunderstood? Is it even possible?
I am a giving person. I give of myself and I have good intentions almost all the time. I am human and I do get angry and I do have a bitching side to me that comes out occasionally but not too often. I give of myself to my friends, my family, my colleagues and my clients with the best of intentions. I have been taken advantage of, because of this, in many instances. I have been misled because of it and when you give of yourself and you get misled it is very hurtful. Am I supposed to become hard, cold and less personal because of it? Are others entitled to take me for granted and cross boundaries because it suits them? I think not.
Am I in this process being lost in translation?
Is it possible for us to live in a world where these translation boundaries get crossed where people understand everything we tell them, take it in the spirit it was originally meant and build on a prosperous future because we all understand one another?
How much are we thankful for and feel blessed for, for getting where we are in life?
Does entitlement allow you to take advantage of certain situations and certain people because you think you can? Why is it that people are not happy for what they have been given, for where they have reached or for how well they are situated?
Is this all being lost in translation?
We all want to get ahead, we all want to be understood and we all want a pat on the back when we have achieved.
Why then does it feel like we are constantly being taken advantage of?
Why are we constantly being hurt?
Is life itself being lost in translation because we all seem to not have time for one another or are some people just out to get what they can while some of us get hurt in the process?
I can only say that I don’t want to be like these people. I work for what I have and I do it in the most honest and giving-of-myself way that I can.
I suppose my translation lesson is that I am just going to have to deal with the hurt and the disappointment in the way that certain messages are giving me.
Life doesn’t suck and I can go to sleep with a clear conscience at night and I am happy for that!
Maybe we just all need a better translation service to make it seem better!
We are nice people after all.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Here I go…. talking to myself again!
I’ve had a lot of feedback on “how to eat your elephant” via email.
One of the questions that I received on the topic is; what inspires you to eat the elephant?
“Life” inspires me, is the quickest most direct way to answer that question but then it got me thinking, and discussing with myself, the various issues within life that I do find inspiring. I find inspiration in many areas;
When I read a book, there’s something that inspires me from what one of the characters might have done or said.
When I’m listening to people talk; friends, strangers on the beach, and family members at a get-together - I do hear inspirational messages in many a conversation being held that I am eves-dropping on.
Sometimes I say things myself, and having not thought about what I have said before hand, I find some inspiration within what I have said, but only after the fact.
I look inside myself for inspiration.
What this also got me thinking about today, while I was driving around Cape Town seeing clients, is how much we really converse with ourselves. That inner voice that is always there to keep us company, to tell us right from wrong, to argue with us or give us a smart-ass comment, to warn us at times or to make us feel happy at others. I think everyone knows what I mean about the "inner voice".
My friends often look at me as if I am totally off the wall, because I tend to get animated by this voice. I may be cooking and having a full blown conversation with myself in my mind and anyone who happens to be watching will think I am ready for a psychiatrist! I get animated, and as I sit here and laugh about it myself, I realize that many times I get hand gestures going, my posture changes, my eyes look like they are on cloud 9 and my basic demeanor is that of a person with a split personality talking to Freddy Kruger. I am very animated at times because I see things in pictures, and then have a whole discussion about these images I see, what I think will happen in various situations and how the outcome will be! You should just see some off the looks I get from drivers in cars next to mine at traffic lights, because most times I’m not even aware that I’m talking to myself!
This inner voice is my best friend really because it’s with me all the time and it’s the biggest critique I have in my life! Unfortunately criticism is not always a positive thing. Criticism from our inner voice is generally harmful, harsh, self loathing, and more. All negative! The challenge we are all faced with is that we need to learn to reprogram this inner voice to not be a negative critique but a motivational inspiration to and for ourselves!
I look at myself in the mirror and say ‘You look like a whale!” My inner voice confirms this sentiment and we begin on a downward spiral of self loathing and or self pity. Self pity is in no way your ALLY in life! In fact I believe it to be your worst enemy, stabbing you in the back at the worst of times, and taking the wind out of your sail before the race has even started! It’s the subconscious mind chatting away because of what we feed it. Say to yourself 10 times a day that you are fat, and by dinner time you are ready to start a diet. Do this for 10 days and your subconscious mind will have an imprint of you being fat, and the conversations regarding your weight will always be a negative because your sub conscious believes you to be fat!
We need to reprogram ourselves all the time and nip that negative talk that we have with ourselves, in the butt!
Now this inner voice is not negative at all times and in all situations. But start noting the times that it’s positive or negative feedback and then think about why it’s giving you that feedback. I know that it all starts with me, both the positive and negative talk, so I am then faced with the task of reprogramming my mind in the negative cases, which is difficult. They do say prevention is better than cure and it starts with you.
I find it exceptionally difficult, this reprogramming, in certain areas and I then land up fighting with myself! I'm in a life-crisis and I'mm constantly at odds with myself because I am so aware of the negativity that I'm feeding myself. I constantly work at it and it gets tiring, but that’s my journey that I’m traveling for now and I'm taking the time out to work on my positive inner voice!
Spend time with your inner voice and make it your friend and above all be true to yourself! You can inspire yourself because you talk to yourself all the time. You have the motivation inside of you and you have the answers that suite you best all the time. We should believe that about ourselves and work on it, talk about it in a positive light and then let the positivity be imprinted on our sub conscious minds. I know I am most certainly working hard at it.
I never said it was easy but by god it’s funny to watch me do it!
One of the questions that I received on the topic is; what inspires you to eat the elephant?
“Life” inspires me, is the quickest most direct way to answer that question but then it got me thinking, and discussing with myself, the various issues within life that I do find inspiring. I find inspiration in many areas;
When I read a book, there’s something that inspires me from what one of the characters might have done or said.
When I’m listening to people talk; friends, strangers on the beach, and family members at a get-together - I do hear inspirational messages in many a conversation being held that I am eves-dropping on.
Sometimes I say things myself, and having not thought about what I have said before hand, I find some inspiration within what I have said, but only after the fact.
I look inside myself for inspiration.
What this also got me thinking about today, while I was driving around Cape Town seeing clients, is how much we really converse with ourselves. That inner voice that is always there to keep us company, to tell us right from wrong, to argue with us or give us a smart-ass comment, to warn us at times or to make us feel happy at others. I think everyone knows what I mean about the "inner voice".
My friends often look at me as if I am totally off the wall, because I tend to get animated by this voice. I may be cooking and having a full blown conversation with myself in my mind and anyone who happens to be watching will think I am ready for a psychiatrist! I get animated, and as I sit here and laugh about it myself, I realize that many times I get hand gestures going, my posture changes, my eyes look like they are on cloud 9 and my basic demeanor is that of a person with a split personality talking to Freddy Kruger. I am very animated at times because I see things in pictures, and then have a whole discussion about these images I see, what I think will happen in various situations and how the outcome will be! You should just see some off the looks I get from drivers in cars next to mine at traffic lights, because most times I’m not even aware that I’m talking to myself!
This inner voice is my best friend really because it’s with me all the time and it’s the biggest critique I have in my life! Unfortunately criticism is not always a positive thing. Criticism from our inner voice is generally harmful, harsh, self loathing, and more. All negative! The challenge we are all faced with is that we need to learn to reprogram this inner voice to not be a negative critique but a motivational inspiration to and for ourselves!
I look at myself in the mirror and say ‘You look like a whale!” My inner voice confirms this sentiment and we begin on a downward spiral of self loathing and or self pity. Self pity is in no way your ALLY in life! In fact I believe it to be your worst enemy, stabbing you in the back at the worst of times, and taking the wind out of your sail before the race has even started! It’s the subconscious mind chatting away because of what we feed it. Say to yourself 10 times a day that you are fat, and by dinner time you are ready to start a diet. Do this for 10 days and your subconscious mind will have an imprint of you being fat, and the conversations regarding your weight will always be a negative because your sub conscious believes you to be fat!
We need to reprogram ourselves all the time and nip that negative talk that we have with ourselves, in the butt!
Now this inner voice is not negative at all times and in all situations. But start noting the times that it’s positive or negative feedback and then think about why it’s giving you that feedback. I know that it all starts with me, both the positive and negative talk, so I am then faced with the task of reprogramming my mind in the negative cases, which is difficult. They do say prevention is better than cure and it starts with you.
I find it exceptionally difficult, this reprogramming, in certain areas and I then land up fighting with myself! I'm in a life-crisis and I'mm constantly at odds with myself because I am so aware of the negativity that I'm feeding myself. I constantly work at it and it gets tiring, but that’s my journey that I’m traveling for now and I'm taking the time out to work on my positive inner voice!
Spend time with your inner voice and make it your friend and above all be true to yourself! You can inspire yourself because you talk to yourself all the time. You have the motivation inside of you and you have the answers that suite you best all the time. We should believe that about ourselves and work on it, talk about it in a positive light and then let the positivity be imprinted on our sub conscious minds. I know I am most certainly working hard at it.
I never said it was easy but by god it’s funny to watch me do it!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
How do you eat an elephant?
In a dark hole, we never seem to find the light at the end of the tunnel because it seems so dark that we can’t even see that we are in a tunnel. My life seems to have been like this for a long time. No matter what challenge I am faced with there seems to be a bigger challenge waiting for me around the corner. In times like this all I wish for is that someone will pick me out of my situation, like a Genie that has been released to grant me a wish, thereby solving all my problems.
Would that really help me and will I have learned a lesson by it?
When I am in my bed at night and in the dark, I have the quietness to think about what the challenges are that I am being faced with. Sometimes, thinking about it makes it worse, depending on what the situation is and depending, I suppose, on how my bio-rhythms are at that particular time. But at other times I am able to see each individual challenge in its own light and I am able to understand why they are there and with what I am being faced with. It’s a constant uphill battle that I am faced with. I have the ability to put on a strong face and only my close friends and family are the ones that will notice something is afoot. I can put on a strong face and cover up my feelings, while I have a hurricane happening in my stomach and an electric storm in my brain, yet continue dealing with acquaintances and clients as if all is well in the world.
This past year has taught me a lot about myself and how I handle things, but one thing I have come to realize in this period, thanks to my brother and my life coach, is that if we ponder on the negative, we will attract the negative. No matter how hard the challenge, I always try to look for the positive twist in any situation. I am human after all and I make many mistakes, which is what makes me human, and I get very embarrassed by these mistakes on the inside, so I keep a keen eye for the slightest possibility of positivity in any situation.
A very dear friend, who is a sharp witted friend, an energetic business woman with an incredibly creative mind, and yes, a damn good hearted person as well, once asked me: “How do you eat an elephant? One bight at a time!”
Life is filled with challenges, and each of us is faced with our own challenges because that is exactly what we have to go through, at that particular time, for the lesson that we need to learn, be learnt. She also said to me that as we face these hard times, we need to learn to deal with them second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour and then day by day. This way we can deal with the small bits as they come, to get them out of the way.
Such wise words those because she is so right. There is no way anyone can deal with all the challenges at the same time, all the time! Sure, some people do seem to look like they are able to do just that, but how much have they already dealt with that we have not seen, because there is always a lot that we don’t really see, like an iceberg floating in the north Atlantic. What we have to do in these situations is take the parts that we can deal with there and then, get them out of the way, then move on to the next challenge and start the process again. Let’s also remember to be kind to ourselves and congratulate ourselves for the achievement of getting through the one challenge to move onto the next. You are human and not perfect but do remember to not be so harsh on yourself. How boring would life be if everything went right all of the time?
So, I have learnt a lot in the last year and by learning to share I have been given real ‘useable’ knowledge as to how to deal with the challenges I have, and am, being faced with. I am no different to the next person who shares the earth with me, so my challenges may be different to yours, but they are not, in any way, more or less important than the challenges you are being faced with.
I wanted to share this knowledge with everyone because I hope it can help you a little in the challenge that you are faced with everyday; life.
So, how do you really eat your elephant?
Would that really help me and will I have learned a lesson by it?
When I am in my bed at night and in the dark, I have the quietness to think about what the challenges are that I am being faced with. Sometimes, thinking about it makes it worse, depending on what the situation is and depending, I suppose, on how my bio-rhythms are at that particular time. But at other times I am able to see each individual challenge in its own light and I am able to understand why they are there and with what I am being faced with. It’s a constant uphill battle that I am faced with. I have the ability to put on a strong face and only my close friends and family are the ones that will notice something is afoot. I can put on a strong face and cover up my feelings, while I have a hurricane happening in my stomach and an electric storm in my brain, yet continue dealing with acquaintances and clients as if all is well in the world.
This past year has taught me a lot about myself and how I handle things, but one thing I have come to realize in this period, thanks to my brother and my life coach, is that if we ponder on the negative, we will attract the negative. No matter how hard the challenge, I always try to look for the positive twist in any situation. I am human after all and I make many mistakes, which is what makes me human, and I get very embarrassed by these mistakes on the inside, so I keep a keen eye for the slightest possibility of positivity in any situation.
A very dear friend, who is a sharp witted friend, an energetic business woman with an incredibly creative mind, and yes, a damn good hearted person as well, once asked me: “How do you eat an elephant? One bight at a time!”
Life is filled with challenges, and each of us is faced with our own challenges because that is exactly what we have to go through, at that particular time, for the lesson that we need to learn, be learnt. She also said to me that as we face these hard times, we need to learn to deal with them second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour and then day by day. This way we can deal with the small bits as they come, to get them out of the way.
Such wise words those because she is so right. There is no way anyone can deal with all the challenges at the same time, all the time! Sure, some people do seem to look like they are able to do just that, but how much have they already dealt with that we have not seen, because there is always a lot that we don’t really see, like an iceberg floating in the north Atlantic. What we have to do in these situations is take the parts that we can deal with there and then, get them out of the way, then move on to the next challenge and start the process again. Let’s also remember to be kind to ourselves and congratulate ourselves for the achievement of getting through the one challenge to move onto the next. You are human and not perfect but do remember to not be so harsh on yourself. How boring would life be if everything went right all of the time?
So, I have learnt a lot in the last year and by learning to share I have been given real ‘useable’ knowledge as to how to deal with the challenges I have, and am, being faced with. I am no different to the next person who shares the earth with me, so my challenges may be different to yours, but they are not, in any way, more or less important than the challenges you are being faced with.
I wanted to share this knowledge with everyone because I hope it can help you a little in the challenge that you are faced with everyday; life.
So, how do you really eat your elephant?
Monday, May 24, 2010
Take time to smell the roses!
“This year, may we give Thanks for still being around to drink from earth’s fountain!Give thanks for having your loved ones, friends and family to share your tears, laughter and sorrow.”
These are words that I wrote in my 2001 Thanks Giving message regarding the Sept 11 disaster we all lived through!
It seems like the world most certainly has grown smaller since then and yet the smaller it grows the more crazy it seems to be getting. The advantages of international communications and the accessibility of almost anything in anyplace, leaves me wondering why so much craziness still continues.
What is it that we really want? Have you ever stopped a moment to ask yourself that particular question? A question that almost everyone has a simple answer to; to be happy.
Happiness to me is a goal that we all aim to achieve, yet somehow it seems to elude so many of us as we go in search of where we think happiness should be found. This does not mean that we are unhappy all the time but just perhaps looking for a better form of happiness that we currently find ourselves in. Is the grass really greener on the other side? Are we so wrapped up in everyday activities that we don’t see our present state of happiness with clear eyes? The happiness we strive so hard to achieve is really right inside all of us all the time. If only we would take a moment longer each day to actually listen to that wonderful inner voice that we all have and change it to a positive voice, to find out what we are really looking for! Maybe if we understood ourselves and our own faults first would we be able to see life with a clearer vision. My one good friend told me she read that we should enjoy paradise while we are in it, but too often we are so busy worrying about the wrongs and stresses in our lives that we forget we are in paradise and when we have moved on, we then regret so much of what we had the opportunity to do, and did not do.
Maybe we should take time to actually smell the roses.
Being nice to other people is highly promoted in everyday walks of life, yet no one seems to promote the necessity of being nice to you, yourself. Maybe if we started with ourselves we wouldn’t find so many terrorist attacks, murders and basic street violence that occur every day, in every corner of the earth. Mother earth! The mother that really does unite us all as a family and yet we land up being so self destructive within our individual families.
When will the human race start realising that we only get one chance to live? Regardless of your faith, religion or to where ever you believe you are taken to in the hereafter, you still only have one chance to make this life good here and now; to be happy and to make others happy!
Maybe by being nice to yourself we will see how much easier it is to be nice to others; other religions, other nations and other orientations!
Why then is it that what everyone wants is basic happiness, in a world where communication is overflowing in resources, that we do we not seem to get this communication across?
Maybe this would be a great starting point for us all to help spread the word of what we want to everyone else and build up the communication levels that would open the doors behind which we may find happiness. Why not then be happy for the simple fact that you can communicate? That you can be happy with what you have? That you are able to bring a little sunshine into someone’s life?
We should never be too busy to remember that we are not alone and that someone out there would really like to hear from us.
The simple fact that this evening my two friends and I, who are all in a dark space at the moment, had time to snap at each other, eat with each other and in the end laugh with each other, making each and every one of us realise that we do have those moments of paradise in our everyday lives. Thanks girls for being part of my paradise and thanks to my boys for being in my paradise. It may seem dark at times, but the laughter and sharing sure puts a bright light on to show us all that we do live in a paradise, albeit an imperfect one at times.
Let’s all take time to smell the roses!
These are words that I wrote in my 2001 Thanks Giving message regarding the Sept 11 disaster we all lived through!
It seems like the world most certainly has grown smaller since then and yet the smaller it grows the more crazy it seems to be getting. The advantages of international communications and the accessibility of almost anything in anyplace, leaves me wondering why so much craziness still continues.
What is it that we really want? Have you ever stopped a moment to ask yourself that particular question? A question that almost everyone has a simple answer to; to be happy.
Happiness to me is a goal that we all aim to achieve, yet somehow it seems to elude so many of us as we go in search of where we think happiness should be found. This does not mean that we are unhappy all the time but just perhaps looking for a better form of happiness that we currently find ourselves in. Is the grass really greener on the other side? Are we so wrapped up in everyday activities that we don’t see our present state of happiness with clear eyes? The happiness we strive so hard to achieve is really right inside all of us all the time. If only we would take a moment longer each day to actually listen to that wonderful inner voice that we all have and change it to a positive voice, to find out what we are really looking for! Maybe if we understood ourselves and our own faults first would we be able to see life with a clearer vision. My one good friend told me she read that we should enjoy paradise while we are in it, but too often we are so busy worrying about the wrongs and stresses in our lives that we forget we are in paradise and when we have moved on, we then regret so much of what we had the opportunity to do, and did not do.
Maybe we should take time to actually smell the roses.
Being nice to other people is highly promoted in everyday walks of life, yet no one seems to promote the necessity of being nice to you, yourself. Maybe if we started with ourselves we wouldn’t find so many terrorist attacks, murders and basic street violence that occur every day, in every corner of the earth. Mother earth! The mother that really does unite us all as a family and yet we land up being so self destructive within our individual families.
When will the human race start realising that we only get one chance to live? Regardless of your faith, religion or to where ever you believe you are taken to in the hereafter, you still only have one chance to make this life good here and now; to be happy and to make others happy!
Maybe by being nice to yourself we will see how much easier it is to be nice to others; other religions, other nations and other orientations!
Why then is it that what everyone wants is basic happiness, in a world where communication is overflowing in resources, that we do we not seem to get this communication across?
Maybe this would be a great starting point for us all to help spread the word of what we want to everyone else and build up the communication levels that would open the doors behind which we may find happiness. Why not then be happy for the simple fact that you can communicate? That you can be happy with what you have? That you are able to bring a little sunshine into someone’s life?
We should never be too busy to remember that we are not alone and that someone out there would really like to hear from us.
The simple fact that this evening my two friends and I, who are all in a dark space at the moment, had time to snap at each other, eat with each other and in the end laugh with each other, making each and every one of us realise that we do have those moments of paradise in our everyday lives. Thanks girls for being part of my paradise and thanks to my boys for being in my paradise. It may seem dark at times, but the laughter and sharing sure puts a bright light on to show us all that we do live in a paradise, albeit an imperfect one at times.
Let’s all take time to smell the roses!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Acknowledgement and Expectancy
One of the loves of my love (I have two, incredibly luckily) once said to me that the person/s you have in your life are to be there to acknowledge your life. We all need to feel like someone has noticed that we are, or have been, around.
This afternoon I had a drink with an acquaintance that mentioned the same thing, but he felt that ‘why have someone in your life to acknowledge your life just because you don’t want to be alone?'
I think this is such an interesting topic of discussion.
I think it is important to have the acknowledgement and I agree that it shouldn’t just be because you don’t want to be alone.
Does this acknowledgement of your life only come from your lover or are we forgetting that family and friends are also acknowledging our lives that we spend alongside them all?
I have been very fortunate to have found not one, but two loves of my life. They are both completely different individuals that have had a profound influence on my life but also made me feel like I am a better person because I have them in my life. Through good times and bad times I will always have them with me no matter which way our paths go. The meager thought of them both puts a smile on my heart. I can only hope that I had as much an influence in their lives as they have had in mine. If anything happens to me, I am sure that they will be able to acknowledge my life because of the time we have, have had together, as I will always be able to acknowledge their lives. They have been my loves, my family, and my friends and realistically are part of my life. But my life is for me to live out, as their lives are theirs to live out - yet still the acknowledgment exists!
We are faced with choices on a daily basis and although my choices of late seem to have been bad choices, no matter what the outcome, they will always be with me as I’m sure I will always be with them. This is something that I feel brings us to a little cross-roads because I wonder if we are not all too expectant of what we want from the people in our lives.
In another talk today I listened to another friend discussing how she had no idea of how her lover was moving within the relationship. She wanted one thing while it seemed the lover wanted something else.
I then got thinking; what makes us expect something from another individual? Is it that within the relationship we are so preoccupied with what we want from the other person that we forget to look at what we want for ourselves? Do relationships make us forget that we should be looking at ourselves first and what it is we want, so that we can then enjoy our lives and thereby share the joy with the person in our relationship? Does sex in a relationship allow you the right to expect things from your partner that you don’t expect from the other relationships in your life?
We all have many relationships in our daily lives. We have our lovers and our friends, yet we seem to expect more from our lovers then we do from our friends. Why is that? Should our lovers not be our best friends? Should we not be able to express our joys and our sorrows, bad and good, with our best friends? And should that just be a sounding board for our own lives because they should be able to give honest opinions of what they think? Why then does this create expectancy from our lovers? We don’t expect half these things from our friends, who we often enough share more details with then our lovers?
Are we all only sharing certain things with certain people because of the certain expectations that we have from each of them individually?
I realize now that I have been a big culprit in this. I realize that I share my emotional things with my friends so that I don’t come across as a weakling to my lovers. I am at fault in that I expect my lovers to think of me as weak, yet rely on my friends to see me as strong. I know I have shared more with my two best friends then I probably shared with my two lovers, and I now realize that it was wrong. It was wrong because I expected from each of these relationships something different. But is it wrong whe its my decision to make or is it me wanting to conform to society?
Can we as humans live without expecting anything from others, no matter what the relationship? Would this perhaps make it easier for ourselves, and is it at all possible to not expect anything at all?
We are all human and we are all on our own journeys in this life. Why then do we expect so much from others when we are not giving as much as we should in return?
My wish to the universe today is this;
Help me share more
Help me expect less
Help me be kind to everyone in my life without being expectant of anything in return.
Life is a wonderful journey to be acknowledged and we should remember this each and every day, for it is our life, and our life alone, to be enjoyed.
Wouldn’t learning to share this joy, without expecting anything in return, be that much more rewarding for us all and a great way for our friends and lovers to acknowledge us at the same time?
This afternoon I had a drink with an acquaintance that mentioned the same thing, but he felt that ‘why have someone in your life to acknowledge your life just because you don’t want to be alone?'
I think this is such an interesting topic of discussion.
I think it is important to have the acknowledgement and I agree that it shouldn’t just be because you don’t want to be alone.
Does this acknowledgement of your life only come from your lover or are we forgetting that family and friends are also acknowledging our lives that we spend alongside them all?
I have been very fortunate to have found not one, but two loves of my life. They are both completely different individuals that have had a profound influence on my life but also made me feel like I am a better person because I have them in my life. Through good times and bad times I will always have them with me no matter which way our paths go. The meager thought of them both puts a smile on my heart. I can only hope that I had as much an influence in their lives as they have had in mine. If anything happens to me, I am sure that they will be able to acknowledge my life because of the time we have, have had together, as I will always be able to acknowledge their lives. They have been my loves, my family, and my friends and realistically are part of my life. But my life is for me to live out, as their lives are theirs to live out - yet still the acknowledgment exists!
We are faced with choices on a daily basis and although my choices of late seem to have been bad choices, no matter what the outcome, they will always be with me as I’m sure I will always be with them. This is something that I feel brings us to a little cross-roads because I wonder if we are not all too expectant of what we want from the people in our lives.
In another talk today I listened to another friend discussing how she had no idea of how her lover was moving within the relationship. She wanted one thing while it seemed the lover wanted something else.
I then got thinking; what makes us expect something from another individual? Is it that within the relationship we are so preoccupied with what we want from the other person that we forget to look at what we want for ourselves? Do relationships make us forget that we should be looking at ourselves first and what it is we want, so that we can then enjoy our lives and thereby share the joy with the person in our relationship? Does sex in a relationship allow you the right to expect things from your partner that you don’t expect from the other relationships in your life?
We all have many relationships in our daily lives. We have our lovers and our friends, yet we seem to expect more from our lovers then we do from our friends. Why is that? Should our lovers not be our best friends? Should we not be able to express our joys and our sorrows, bad and good, with our best friends? And should that just be a sounding board for our own lives because they should be able to give honest opinions of what they think? Why then does this create expectancy from our lovers? We don’t expect half these things from our friends, who we often enough share more details with then our lovers?
Are we all only sharing certain things with certain people because of the certain expectations that we have from each of them individually?
I realize now that I have been a big culprit in this. I realize that I share my emotional things with my friends so that I don’t come across as a weakling to my lovers. I am at fault in that I expect my lovers to think of me as weak, yet rely on my friends to see me as strong. I know I have shared more with my two best friends then I probably shared with my two lovers, and I now realize that it was wrong. It was wrong because I expected from each of these relationships something different. But is it wrong whe its my decision to make or is it me wanting to conform to society?
Can we as humans live without expecting anything from others, no matter what the relationship? Would this perhaps make it easier for ourselves, and is it at all possible to not expect anything at all?
We are all human and we are all on our own journeys in this life. Why then do we expect so much from others when we are not giving as much as we should in return?
My wish to the universe today is this;
Help me share more
Help me expect less
Help me be kind to everyone in my life without being expectant of anything in return.
Life is a wonderful journey to be acknowledged and we should remember this each and every day, for it is our life, and our life alone, to be enjoyed.
Wouldn’t learning to share this joy, without expecting anything in return, be that much more rewarding for us all and a great way for our friends and lovers to acknowledge us at the same time?
The Introducton
I am now writing a blog, can you cope! If anyone is going to read this I must advise you that I am a talker not a writer, so sometimes the way I try explain things is not always how I meant them to be explained. Does that make any sense? Well, I think that is a perfect example of what I am trying to say…
We are three friends, who have been together for years. By being together I mean that we were in our 20’s when we met and over the years stayed in touch, no matter where we found ourselves in the world. I’m not going to mention any names as this is my blog and hey, some privacy should be held in life. Let me just explain that we have been there for each other now for over 25 years and now we all find ourselves in a drift less current and we are in out mid 40’s.
We are all well travelled.
We are all from different backgrounds.
We are all different personalities.
We are a mixture of gay and straight.
We are men and woman.
We are all in the same drift less boat, looking for our direction as to “WHAT NOW?”
It’s from one of these talks that we have had that I decided to first, find out how to get a blog, and then secondly, put it out there and see who else is faced with the same situation. I say situation because I think it’s part of a growing process in our lives and is most definitely not a negative situation, even though we all feel like it is a negative time! Maybe this can be a sounding board for all of us to help each other through this period and be a guide to our next phase. Let’s make it an exciting phase!
I have had a damn interesting life. I come from a basic lower-class background but had a drive to get me to where I wanted to go. And I succeeded in almost all the things I have put my mind to. I have travelled the world working as an entertainer, and I got where I wanted to because I wanted to succeed. I had no official studies in the entertainment field and just worked really hard at getting things done to help me in the next segment of motivating myself forward.
Gosh, I feel exhausted just thinking about all the things, but that is all in the past and I will probably refer to it occasionally, the entertainment and travel experiences, and that’s why I am putting it down here as a source of general information. I then reached an age that I started feeling like I did not want to be on stage with younger talent. I looked like I could be their father and that’s when things had to change.
I became a Cruise Director and absolutely LOVED the job. Dealing with people on a day to day basis and finding ways to get them entertained on a cruise ship. Not an easy job, but by god, what satisfaction I got out of that. Then the company went bust during the Iraqi war and the SARS breakout. I was then about to turn 40 and had no idea what next in my life’s journey. I then came to South Africa and went into my brothers business and became a financial advisor.
Talk about a change in direction!
But that is to show that one of my firmly held beliefs is that you can do ANYTHING you want to as you are the controller of your life.
I threw myself into the work, built up my client base and received financial rewards as well as awards from my peers. But I woke up one morning to find that I was actually bored shitless with the work.
I give my heart and soul to everything I do and yet the clients had the opportunity to control what outcome I would have. This is where my insecurities started as to what I am doing with my life.
I’m now 45, and still working as a financial advisor, as we all have bills to pay, but I am no longer happy.
I have spoken to my friends and as we are the same age and I find that we are all feeling the same way about what’s happening in our lives. I speak to other acquaintances and started realizing that we are not so unique in feeling like we are.
A doctor who became a salesman
A lawyer who became a florist
An architect who is looking to open a travel agency
An estate agent who wants to go in to marketing
And countless others who are looking to change their life
We are all in our 40s and we are all looking for a little excitement in our lives, be it professionally or personally, because one thing we all seem to have in common is the realization of how quickly time has passed since we were 20!
I am a motivator of people and I am an excellent public speaker; that much I have come to realize about myself. My self esteem is at 0 at the moment because I am not happy, satisfied or enjoying what I am doing, but because of a financial strain feeling forced to do it. I am looking for someone to help me get into these fields yet I find it so easy to help others get to where they want to be.
I have become the sounding-board for friends and strangers alike, and would love to go into that line of work, if that line of work exists.
So, in summing up the start of this blog, last night chatting with one of my old friends we came up with the idea of me starting a blog and this is the start! I aim to tell you not only about what I feel and think and what challenges I am being faced with in the various things I am interested in, but want to invite whoever reads this to write me and tell me their thoughts, their feelings and their experiences of having changed, or going through this change which seems to be happening to so many of us. And I do believe it mostly people in their 40’s but have come across others who are in their mid to late 30’s, so it’s not specific to the age group but is specific to life having been lived and now the challenge is being faced!
We are three friends, who have been together for years. By being together I mean that we were in our 20’s when we met and over the years stayed in touch, no matter where we found ourselves in the world. I’m not going to mention any names as this is my blog and hey, some privacy should be held in life. Let me just explain that we have been there for each other now for over 25 years and now we all find ourselves in a drift less current and we are in out mid 40’s.
We are all well travelled.
We are all from different backgrounds.
We are all different personalities.
We are a mixture of gay and straight.
We are men and woman.
We are all in the same drift less boat, looking for our direction as to “WHAT NOW?”
It’s from one of these talks that we have had that I decided to first, find out how to get a blog, and then secondly, put it out there and see who else is faced with the same situation. I say situation because I think it’s part of a growing process in our lives and is most definitely not a negative situation, even though we all feel like it is a negative time! Maybe this can be a sounding board for all of us to help each other through this period and be a guide to our next phase. Let’s make it an exciting phase!
I have had a damn interesting life. I come from a basic lower-class background but had a drive to get me to where I wanted to go. And I succeeded in almost all the things I have put my mind to. I have travelled the world working as an entertainer, and I got where I wanted to because I wanted to succeed. I had no official studies in the entertainment field and just worked really hard at getting things done to help me in the next segment of motivating myself forward.
Gosh, I feel exhausted just thinking about all the things, but that is all in the past and I will probably refer to it occasionally, the entertainment and travel experiences, and that’s why I am putting it down here as a source of general information. I then reached an age that I started feeling like I did not want to be on stage with younger talent. I looked like I could be their father and that’s when things had to change.
I became a Cruise Director and absolutely LOVED the job. Dealing with people on a day to day basis and finding ways to get them entertained on a cruise ship. Not an easy job, but by god, what satisfaction I got out of that. Then the company went bust during the Iraqi war and the SARS breakout. I was then about to turn 40 and had no idea what next in my life’s journey. I then came to South Africa and went into my brothers business and became a financial advisor.
Talk about a change in direction!
But that is to show that one of my firmly held beliefs is that you can do ANYTHING you want to as you are the controller of your life.
I threw myself into the work, built up my client base and received financial rewards as well as awards from my peers. But I woke up one morning to find that I was actually bored shitless with the work.
I give my heart and soul to everything I do and yet the clients had the opportunity to control what outcome I would have. This is where my insecurities started as to what I am doing with my life.
I’m now 45, and still working as a financial advisor, as we all have bills to pay, but I am no longer happy.
I have spoken to my friends and as we are the same age and I find that we are all feeling the same way about what’s happening in our lives. I speak to other acquaintances and started realizing that we are not so unique in feeling like we are.
A doctor who became a salesman
A lawyer who became a florist
An architect who is looking to open a travel agency
An estate agent who wants to go in to marketing
And countless others who are looking to change their life
We are all in our 40s and we are all looking for a little excitement in our lives, be it professionally or personally, because one thing we all seem to have in common is the realization of how quickly time has passed since we were 20!
I am a motivator of people and I am an excellent public speaker; that much I have come to realize about myself. My self esteem is at 0 at the moment because I am not happy, satisfied or enjoying what I am doing, but because of a financial strain feeling forced to do it. I am looking for someone to help me get into these fields yet I find it so easy to help others get to where they want to be.
I have become the sounding-board for friends and strangers alike, and would love to go into that line of work, if that line of work exists.
So, in summing up the start of this blog, last night chatting with one of my old friends we came up with the idea of me starting a blog and this is the start! I aim to tell you not only about what I feel and think and what challenges I am being faced with in the various things I am interested in, but want to invite whoever reads this to write me and tell me their thoughts, their feelings and their experiences of having changed, or going through this change which seems to be happening to so many of us. And I do believe it mostly people in their 40’s but have come across others who are in their mid to late 30’s, so it’s not specific to the age group but is specific to life having been lived and now the challenge is being faced!
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