Be well

Over the past few weeks I’ve been looking at how I attract things into my life, when I attract them and what are the seeming processes prior to getting to these peak states that I’ve been achieving. I remember the night I decided I needed to relook at myself, the night I stripped all my clothes off and had a real good look at who I was, what I didn’t like about myself, what I did like about myself and then I looked into my eyes and started picking and noting the things that I wanted to change.

I cried that night when I looked at how much of me I wanted to change. I remember putting on my underwear, making a cup of coffee, sitting at my dining room table with pen and paper in hand and I began to write from the top what it was I wanted to change.

1. My body
2. My diet

There is a lot on that list of mine and I have been working through it as I go along. Four months ago I decided to look at my elephant and see how I could eat it one chunk at a time. These were the two that I started with, that I thought were manageable for me to deal with and then the rest I would take one bight at a time.

I sat with my friend tonight and we were chatting about how my body is changing and how I feel like my biorhythms are getting to be in a better place. I know the endorphins that are released through my gym work – outs, ballet classes, mountain climbing, walks along the beach and watching the way I have been eating has made a startling difference to the person I saw in the mirror. I know its sounds very superficial taking care of the outside, but its all part of me and who I am. This body is my body and this mind and these emotions are all mine, so I need to start someplace and that’s what Ive done.

Im not talking about the fact that Ive gone from being little Lotta to the Incredible Hulk but rather that I notice and see the difference in myself and after all, we are our biggest critics in everything we do. I know the healthier eating habits have not only contributed towards a healthier body, but also to a healthier mind and all these little things combined make for a better stronger person; spiritually , mentally and emotionally.

I feel proud that my friend has noticed the changes in me and my body, but I feel prouder still that I started with my list and that I am seeing some results bear fruit!

Ill be leaving for Barcelona on Friday and will be out of Cape Town for two weeks spending time with my loved ones, my dogs and my family! It’s a very exciting prospect and I may not have time to blog every day but I will try to blog at least a few times.

Now I am adding some summer to the healthier body and healthier mind ( with a lot of sunscreen) but I think that I may even get a boost with a good dose of Vitamin D. What I do know is that I feel like the attraction of good things is aligning itself to me and my life right now and a great way to leave for a vacation. I actually think I deserve it!

States of flow

I thought I had a crappy day yesterday. I was ready to just let the day be over, get into bed and sleep it away so as to awake this morning feeling refreshed and revitalized for a new day! So much changes so quickly in my life, I realized!

Having shut down my laptops, my cell-phone rang and I received an unexpected call from a friend in Italy! Being such an unexpected surprise call, my first reaction was “what’s wrong?” Thankfully there was nothing wrong, but in the process of a half hour telephone call I went through various emotions that moved me into such a good place emotionally. While I was on this long distance call I noted my phone beeping to see another call coming through which I returned once I had finished with my friend. It happened to be another friend who had just been given my number, and a person whom I had not spoken to in over a year! Another surprise!

IT got me thinking this morning about my mood swings in a matter of about 45 minutes. I had an embarrassing moment where I even blushed, I laughed, I listened, I spoke, but most importantly I thought of everything else but the Crappy day that I had and I went to bed with a smile on my face and thanked the universe for another day! I realized this morning that we are all faced with various states of thought and emotion. Recently I listened to a tele-seminar about how Thought + Emotion = Attraction! Is this what actually happened to me last night? As my thought patterns changed, my emotions lifted remarkably and I felt the attraction of being in a better state.

How do we call on these ‘peak-states’ to maintain a great sense of flow within ourselves, to make us feel better? Ive understood now that the “thought” part is who we want to be; the “emotion” part is what’s happening at present which is what gives us the “attraction” of what we are faced with at that moment. I think what I did come to understand is that we need to be happy NOW – this very moment.

Being happy now - with goals which are set for our future - allows us these peak states. I think what I need to start noting is what the development is to reach this peak state and note also when I am in the peak state. This peak state is a sense of happiness that allows good thoughts, good feelings and basically just having a smile all over your body, known also as a fabulous mood!

I want to be in this space all the time, don’t we all? I do know that thanks to a very special friend making the effort to call and chat, and a surprise long lost friend’s call I felt fantastic; I still do. A short brief moment has left a long standing sense of happiness within my soul and I can only say THANK YOU.

Perhaps we should all note that sometimes its nice to just call and say hello, no matter where you may be. It puts a smile in someone’s heart that may really need it at that moment in time. Unbeknownst to my friends, that is exactly what happened last night and I sit here today with a huge smile on my face still!

Today I feel my cosmic attraction is at a peak not reached in a long time! I need to accept that the universe will lead me in the right direction at times, and I don’t have to fight it.

My Core Energies

Is it possible to do and be anything? After reading what I wrote yesterday I went back and listened to two chapters of the Secret. The Secret does promote that we can do anything, be anything and achieve anything we want.

It got me wondering if that is at all possible for each individual. Does this not rely a lot on our own personalities and the likes and dislikes that each of us have? What I mean is that IF I like to dance and I have an interest in it and go ahead and do it, is it not more likely that I will succeed in it as apposed to Basket-ball that I have no interest in whatsoever? IS it possible for me to start playing basket-ball, practice it a lot and then succeed in it as well? I think not.

I do believe that each and every one of us has our core beliefs and our core likes/dislikes. I think that these are almost ingrained into us like our DNA, which is what makes each and everyone of us unique. Does it mean that we can challenge ourselves to the point of actually doing something that we don’t like and don’t really want to do? Does this mean that our motivations for these dislikes are changeable as well and can we sell it to ourselves to start doing things we never really liked in the first place? Why would we want to do them anyway?

I am often confronted by aspects of what I like, as apposed to what others expect from me. I do want to be able to help others and feel that I am giving back as well as making sure that I am able to nurture these others, to gain what is good for them in their lives. I know that I always challenge myself to do things that I think will help me in my life but I am also aware that as a caring human I will go out of my way to help others and have often landed up doing things that I don’t really want to do.

If I look at my upbringing and the strength that was indirectly imposed on my by my parents, I start questioning all these things in the life that I live. I seem to often be living according to others expectations of me and somewhere along the line I find that I have denied myself the total happiness that I could have. I do tend to put my desires on the back burner if there is something that I can do for others when they need or ask for my help. IS that right or wrong? I have a good friend who does everything for herself first and then takes care of others thereafter. Am I missing the point and is this selfish or not?

In my search for my positive energies, I realized last night that I need to release these guilty feelings to helping myself first. I need to recognize where I am able to help others to my best ability and then I need to do the right thing for myself, although it does seem to come across as selfish. These are tough decisions to make and to change. These are constant training sessions that I need to give myself and my inner voice critic that is sometime so harsh on me and what I am doing.

Sometimes like today, it just gets all too much for me and I have a real CRAPPY day, to say the least. Im exhausted mentally, emotionally and even physically. I feel like all the work Im putting into this journey should be chucked out the window of a fast moving train and I should just give up and register myself as lost on my own road!
Then I have a good dinner, do a calm meditation and remind myself that all roads are not smooth, and that it’s my core energy that I am using to smooth these roads. Isn’t it only logical then that I will feel tired and drained and just wanting to burst into tears? Still doesn’t help me really, but I suppose I do at least have hope in that Im looking to find the solutions to my challenges as it’s the solutions that matter, not the challenges.
But some days I just can’t face them and actually don’t want to. Am I allowed to feel crappy, get into bed and say thanks for a crappy day, tomorrow is another day?

I just feel too exhausted to think or do anything right now!

The different options available

I think many things have come my way on purpose during this period of growth. Perhaps its because Im more receptive to them and ready to open my mind to new ideas and new views. It’s fantastic!

I have come across a theory posed by an 82 year old man called the American Monk. His theory is that we all have the possibilities of various levels of living available to us all the time. He calls it quantum jumping and at first I found it a little hard to come to terms with but seem to finally understand what he is getting across and I think its a very interesting theory.

If you think of a radio and all the radio waves that are around us all the time, is the example that started making sense to me. The amounts of radio stations available to us at any time are many, but the receptor can only tune into one wave at a time. If we want to change the radio station we need to set the radio dial to another frequency and thereby pick up the new station.

The American Monk says our lives are the same. We have countless possibilities of how we can live our life. Depending on what frequency we are on is the way we live our life at that particular time. We do have the capability of changing the levels we are on by shifting our focus accordingly, like changing the radio stations, but it takes time and practice.

I read this with great interest. I thought about the Secret that seemed to be on everyone’s lips, mine included, a few years ago. Are we able to attract all the goodness into our lives? I do think we are able, but as with anything in our lives, we need to want to do this and be aware of the effort we put into it for it to take place in our lives. I have also read many writings on how the Secret is filled with holes and one cannot live your life just by wishing for it.

I know that I have had to change my way of thinking to get me where I am today. I have had to make a conscious effort to changing my inner voice of how I speak to myself and how I criticize myself as I go alone. I also notice that the more I do it and become aware of it, the easier it gets, as anything in my life that I make a concerted effort to practice.

Perhaps the possibilities that I have around me are endless and its up to me to change the radio frequency to be able to see them. I know that I am coming across a lot of people in the same position as I have been and I have been able to offer my thoughts from my perspective from my personal experience. Ive been giving thanks daily and now Ive been able to give back, in a way.

Does that mean that Ive started seeing different frequencies available to me in my life, Im not sure, but I do know that its an interesting theory and one Im reading up on more and more, because I think that there are so many theories available to all of us but we are only seeing them when we are ready to understand them. The universe does present us with options, I see that now.

The seeds of life being planted

We find all sorts of seeds being planted in our lives on a day to day basis. This is a process I refer to often. Think of yourself as the farmer who works the seed process.

The farmer

The farmer stands facing his land, the sun is rising in the east and the cocks are crowing all around him. Its spring and work needs to be done.
A farmer needs to first work the soil to get it to a good quality soil. This is done through toiling the soil, watering the soil and fertilizing the soil. The farmer needs to work his soil to aerate it. The farmer will do this process for a while before he is happy that it is ready. Sometimes its more difficult because a drought has dried the soil, or a black frost has covered the land. The ground may be hard and very dry and the farmer needs to toil and toil and toil – aerating all the time to get the ground loose and viable. The farmer works meticulously to make sure his soil is aerated. He does all the right things to ensure a healthy happy soil.

Once the farmer is happy with his soil preparation, he sets to work. He plans how he will grow his crop and in which patches he will grow what crop. He may even measure the distances between the seeds that he needs to plant, giving him an idea of how much he can grow over his land. He then starts his planting. Meticulously working and planting until his seeds are all planted.

He may need to fertilize some seeds more, but in general he will need to ensure that they are watered. The watering will help the seeds germinate and with a little luck he may even have a helping hand from nature, with a daily rain pour which will water his seeded ground as nature intended. Pretty soon the plants break ground as the seedlings curl their heads upwards, start stretching their stork spines and start the growing process of reaching for the sky.

Pretty soon the stalks are stretched tall and healthy and near fruit. The farmer looks at the land and smiles when the fruit is ready, as his hard work has paid off. He now starts to harvest his crop, sell it to the markets and soon, will start the whole process again as a new season enters and new crops get planted.

Occasionally the farmer has a bad season, because of a drought or even a flooding. Sometimes unexpected locusts attack or ants eat the roots. But it will pass and it will start anew again.


The analogy of the farmer is one I use often. It fits into many situations of everyday life. You can be the farmer working at your job, to bear the fruits thereof. I used to use it to train my staff teaching them how they need to work their prospects and nurture them through properly so that they can eventually bear the fruits that will carry them a long way.

Today I use it in the sense of how I look at the land as my life. I’ve been working the land, feeding it and watering it to get it to a point of seeding it for the future. Often I think the seeds are already planted and laying dormant for a good watering, and the processes I have been going through in my life sure makes me feel like I am at that stage of the farming process already. With hard work comes a lot of luck and I am starting to feel like my own self discovery is bearing fruit and a lot of seeds planted will bear more fruit as I continue.

Life is not always perfect, but it sure is exhilarating to feel like a farmer again with a new season ahead to nourish and strive towards a successful harvest.

Im harvesting my life! Try it, you may just like it!

Optimism found!

For a long time, my whole life in fact, I have always been an optimist. Its always a great day regardless of the weather and life is very good. That’s how Ive lived my life. I try not sweat the small stuff and I find the sunny side in every trying situation.

In this journey of mine I have come to realize that somewhere along the line over the past few years I became a pessimist. Horribly negative, although I would never admit it, and only seeing doom and gloom. I lost a lot of material things and that seemed to make me even more of a pessimist and only see more doom and gloom. At some point I even considered just ending it all!

I don’t know where the change happened or how it even happened. But it happened! It is through this period of regrouping myself that I have come to realize no matter what I thought, my inner voice was challenging me to the negative, and powerfully so. I would not see the glass as half full but half empty and I did not realize that even if it was half empty it was a lot more than many around me even had!

I would burst into tears for no apparent reason and embarrassingly so at the strangest of times and in the strangest of places. I constantly felt like I had the world on my shoulders and with that I constantly had my shoulders up around my ears. I would suffer from migraines and I would have a terrible feeling of gloom as the knot in my stomach would churn and churn. It was not fun and it is not something I would wish on anyone but it was very real to me.

Somewhere along this search of mine I seem to have just discovered again the optimistic Maurice that Ive always been. I realized this morning that these feelings of euphoria that Im feeling in the morning are lasting longer and longer and Im walking around with a smile on my face again, as well as in my heart. Happiness is not a co-incidence, it’s a choice. I choose to be happy, regardless of the challenges I am faced with. I feel that everyday is a great day again, and if it rains and the wind blows, well hey, enjoy the break from the strong African sun and take time to do more things indoors that I don’t get around to doing when the sun is always shinning.

You see, I think my DNA is optimistic. I think that even though I may have been a pessimist for a while, my inner voice through all this searching, has told my subconscious mind that I need to get over it already, and get back on track! I find that I am working better, and I am eating healthier. I don’t feel like I have the world on my shoulders and I notice that I can see my earlobes again as my shoulders are not hiding them. I now even think I have cute earlobes, what the hell!

I am manifesting everyday to myself; I feel Good, I feel Great, I feel Terrific!
I am taking time out to listen to my heart and meditate in silence that my heart is a good heart and that there is space for so much more. My manifestations are working and I believe in myself again. I have so much to offer the world and I have love in my life. I couldn’t see that for a while because of how dark I saw the world in the situation that I found myself. I spent a lot of solo time and I still do. One needs to do this to get to terms with ones self.

How can I give love if I don’t have any for myself? I see that now, and it feels good. Perhaps the pessimism was a necessity in my life for me to regroup myself, my heart and my mind. Perhaps this was the biggest learning curb of my life and SO WHAT if I loose everything and find myself scrapping by? Its only material stuff that I can carry in my hands, but I am a survivor and I am a wonderful person! The sun WILL come out again, and the difference now is that I believe it again!

I believe in myself and I believe in my journey!

I have found the optimism that my DNA has been blessed to have entwined within it!

I feel like I am on the right road of Be Do Get!

I am attracting many good things again and my magnets are starting to recharge and work towards the full strength of attracting all the goodness that I have everyday in my life. It’s been there all the time, Ive just been too pessimistic to see it!

Seeking Your Passion

Nelson Mandela said to Marianne Williamson: “There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.’
What a slap in the face to a reality check when I read those lines. Honest, real and to the point!

Am I living my life accordingly or am I missing the mark by not looking at the reality of what my life could be? I know that I have been on this journey and I am in search of getting to that mark when I know I will be excited again. I know that I have reached my Point A and I am now looking for my point B. I know that I have become a lot happier through sitting still and writing this blog as I have so much inside that just sits there otherwise, and I have taken the brave route of putting it out there and getting fantastic feedback from many people. It’s been a curious time that reminds me of a roller-coaster ride, and dare I say I love this rollercoaster ride, but would like to get to settled ground again and know that I have grown in the process of the ride!

What are you passions and are you living in the order of the passions you have? This was a question that I overheard at a table in a restaurant, which obviously piqued my interest tremendously, so much so that I just had to eavesdrop a little further. Between the hustling and bustling noise of the restaurant I understood that you should be looking for 5 passions in your life and then live your life according to those 5 passions.

One of the examples I did get to over hear was about putting someone as more important than yourself to enable you to show true love. The subject was about having a child, for you to realize that you are not as important when you have something like a child to take care of! I didn’t think it was a very good example as I know many excellent parents that still follow their passions without having less or more love for their children. In all fairness I did only hear parts of the whole conversation so can’t be too sure if this was an actual example being used to help the lady being spoken to get to her passions.

It did however get me thinking; what are my 5 passions? Do I need to have 5 passions and is it important to have something that is more important in my life than me?
What I do know is that I need to be living my life according to the passions I have. Perhaps I need to classify the importance of my passions to have a look at their importance’s in my life and if I am living accordingly to the order-importance of the passions. Perhaps I am trying too hard in certain areas and not getting the returns I need to be happy in that area? If I challenge myself with these orders perhaps I can change the way my life is lived.

Interesting things you read and then also over-hear in restaurants and coffee shops.

I do think that if I lived my life according to the importance of my passions I will probably find that I would actually change the way I live and probably be so much happier. Perhaps that is the way to find my Point B and get me there quickly.

Am I playing too small and not getting the best results that I should be getting, by not playing bigger? What am I capable of? Strangely Ive never posed that question to myself as I do think the human as a whole is capable of anything. I am capable of anything as are we all, but it’s the intention of each of us that is different and the end results being so different. I do understand the intention of Mr. Mandela’s statement and get excited thinking about the countless possibilities still to be achieved in my life.

I do need to think bigger and I do need to take note of the importances of my passions. It’s no use getting a mediocre result when I should be getting a fantastic result. The results are for me, for my life and for my journey.

Perhaps I need to work harder at seeking my passions.

Engaging

The online free dictionary definitions are many, but Im choosing to use this one:
Transitive Verb - To attract and hold the attention of; engross: a hobby that engaged her for hours at a time.
Intransitive Verb - To involve oneself or become occupied; participate: engage in conversation.

It’s about what we do. Being engaged in a career, a conversation, a hobby or even a luncheon has our full attention and time just disappears.

A recent article I read said that it takes about 10 000 hours to become great at what you do and the first thing that popped into my mind was – who wants to spend 10 000 hours doing something you don’t like? So many of us find ourselves in the fortunate position of loving what we do and many more of us have the unfortunate position of not loving what we do and in this respect Im referring to work or career aspects of our lives.

Isn’t it amazing that when we are engaged in something that we enjoy, time seems to fly? We put our full focused attention into something and 3 hours will pass without even realizing it. We are happy and we are content. We are giving our heart and soul to the attention we place in our interest, and time just slips past. This sort of time slipping past is very good. It gives our auras a shiny glow and it has our brain working like the most advanced computer. We become sharp!

I mention this because I think we should all be making progress on a daily basis. Everyday should be a step forward and being engaged in what we do seems to make it that much easier. We don’t have to be perfect at what we do but we should be enthusiastic about it. I think this enthusiasm is what eventually will get us to the perfection stage, even though as humans none of us are perfect.

As I strive towards my passion I realize that time flies when I am engaged in my passions. I know that it would be senseless to give up my day job as I have to also be a realist in that I have financial responsibilities to stand up to. My day job is the part that allows me the tranquility, in a sense, to not have to stress about my financial obligations. I am however working towards my passion and with hard work and perseverance I will succeed; I have no doubt in myself of that. I just don’t want to go bankrupt in the process!

So I then start looking at the plotting part of how to get my passions to be fully advantageous to me and at the same time make sure that it is financially rewarding enough for me to be able to cover the obligations I have, like rent, food, petrol etc. TO get to this point of my journey I need to start looking at the point A and the point B of my vision.
Point A – where am I now?
Point B – where do I want to be?

Ive come to realize that is very important to understand where I am NOW. That’s been my realization I suppose through this blog that I started a month ago. When I go back and re-read some of my thoughts and happenings, I realize I have made progress on the personal front and at the same time started understanding my passion for life. I am at the point of ‘Where I am’ – and I must say that it’s a good feeling. I often say this - we are today because of what we did yesterday. I am willing to spend 10 000 hours on myself to get to this understanding and be great at understanding myself, but I think its not necessary right now to spend that amount of time. IN reality we spend far more than that as we live our lives and as our lives change.

Im now at Point B – Where do I want to be?
Gosh, and I am actually very excited by the prospect. Ive finally come to realize that I have a map in front of me, but what’s the use of a clear slate if you don’t know where you are or where you want to be?
It’s a very exciting time in my life. It’s unnerving in that I step forward confidently but never know what awaits my next step, but that is all part of the excitement.
The universe is actually opening up doors for me that Ive been too blind to see, too preoccupied to realize, and I refer back to my friends words – there are none so blind as those who do not see!

Im engaging in myself and Im engaging in my time and my energy in looking at the map of my life and choosing where it is I want my point B to be!

Engage
Engage
Engage

Manifesting

Recently I spoke about Intention, Attention and No stress. It was a motivational moment for me - the “ah-ha” moment that we should all have every now and then.

We all need to find inspiration and we all need to let that inspiration give us our own ah-ha moment. I think these moments of inspiration are what ultimately make us happy; happy in what we see, what we hear, what we do, who we are, where we are, etc etc etc. It was another inspirational moment when I understood what was being explained to me by another of my best friends. It was her ah-ha moment and it most certainly became one for me as well.

She says we all DO, GET, BE – explained as - we all DO things (like work) to GET things ( like cars, clothes) to BE happy. If you come to think about it its spot on to where we all are in our current lives in the current society that we live in as we do all do something to get something that we think will make us happy. I know I worked hard so that I could get the nice car, the big house and the accessories that went with it – including more expenses – which had me working more and more to get to a point of just getting even on the financial front. I thought it would make me happy and I thought it would all be plain sailing from there on.

But it wasn’t. I had the nice car and the big house and I was happy there, but it also created a lot of other unthought-of problems that eventually led to my downfall of happiness, leaving me very stressed which ultimately left me unhappy. What use is having all these things when you have to work like a dog to just make the payments on a month to month basis? I got burnt out, and am actually only now starting to feel like I am recovering – a year later. Amongst many other things happening in my life I lost my self motivation self esteem and will to fight for what I believed in! It’s been the most interesting and difficult phase of my life, but I can only now see it as I am heading out of it, and away from it.

Im recovering everything on the personal level as I move forward and thanks to the support of my friends and close family, my family, have I found the patience to find my self esteem again as well as my motivation and my fight! It was during this discussion with my best friend that the seed was planted and 6 months later I now fully understand the implications of living the DO, GET, BE life. I have manifested that I need to move away from it, and I am actually succeeding, day by day.

My friend encouraged me to rather live a life of BE, DO, GET
BE – happy, and DO the things that you love (here’s passion again) as then you will GET everything you have never even thought of, and more. As with the passion discussion, its one of those topics that makes me realize that I need to be happy in what I do. Everything else is really immaterial, as we are here on this earth for such a short space of time – a blink of an eye – so the material things should not be what we are striving for but a path of happiness is the road we should take.

Another “AH- HA” moment in my life 6 months ago, made me realize what I had always preached was not how I was living. But I am a better person for it today as I have taken the time out to learn more about myself and why I did it.
I am today because of what I did yesterday.
With this knowledge in hand, I am more prepared to face tomorrow with a new zest for life, motivated and fighting all the way. I understand that I need to be happy. In fact I am happy, and should not complain and yes, there are parts of my life that are a little more challenging, but as a whole, Im happy. It’s taken me a while to get this happy smile on my heart and in my life again, but it’s been worth every step to feel like I wake up euphoric some mornings.
It’s motivating in itself to awake euphorically in the morning.

I think it’s a wise moment to look at your life and understand where you are, then let go of -the Be Do Get and look at and grasp - the DO Get Be and see how you can manifest it, allowing you to get to your passion.

Lets all Be Do Get!

Manifest it now to the universe and make the shift!

It’s highly recommended – believe me!

Thieves

On Saturday I went to the gym to do a workout. As per usual I finished, went to the dressing room and had a shower. I then proceeded to take my body oil out of my locker and place my clothing on the bench with my sneakers on the floor. I turned to rub the oil on my freshly showered torso and then proceeded to dress. Much to my horror, in that short space of time, someone had stolen my sneakers!

I was astounded. Firstly that someone had the gall to do it when there were people in the dressing room and secondly to do it while I was standing there not paying attention. To make things worse, I had to leave the gym barefoot as I had no shoes with me besides my sneakers, and that was the worst part over. When I got to my car I realized that they were my new sneakers, purchased just 2 days previously, and that I would now have to lay out R600 again for a new pair. It astounds me that people can do something like this. They can afford to pay for a monthly membership fee at Virgin Active, and then walk away with others belongings.

What goes around comes around is a saying my mother would say from time to time. She would encourage us to be good and kind to others as it would be repaid 10 fold. I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who says that she wants to challenge her god about this theory. She constantly does good, considers others, goes out of her way to help and yet all she feels is that she is faced with further turmoil and hardship. Where is the justice? Does she stop doing good because she is not receiving the 10 fold? I don’t believe she does it to receive the rewards as she is not a selfish person; however all she wants is to continue doing good and have a little less turmoil and hardship in her life. Is that too much to ask?

Another friend recently had a discussion with a Hari Krishna follower and interesting enough told me that the discussion was about learning your lesson – or else you would have to return to face it again and again time after time, life after life. This is one of those days when I question; what am I supposed to learn from having things stolen from under my nose? Am I supposed to become so untrustworthy of everyone so as not to leave anything out of my sight at all times. Can anyone actually do that and live like that? Would we not be a bunch of neurotic people walking around? Or perhaps the lesson is that my shoes needed to be stolen to help someone else out that perhaps doesn’t have shoes? Perhaps this is one of those lessons that I will have to repeat time and time again as I cannot for the life of me, understand what lesson there is to be learnt.

I suppose I don’t understand thieves and there are many who are not only thieves of material things. People steal ideas, people steal others love, and some steal other lives. But it does however leave me wondering if I had not jumped to too quick a conclusion about my sneakers being stolen. What if they were mistakenly placed in some ones bag in a moment of mind lapse? Would they return the sneakers, or not, because of the embarrassment that they might be caused and what will I feel like if it does happen to be like this?

Im not sure what to say right now in that regard as I feel they were stolen and not mistakenly taken, but I suppose I need to leave some benefit of doubt, before cursing the thief. If it was mistakenly taken I should get them back tomorrow, but if not, is it possible for me to ask to see what revenge will be placed on the thief in his next life?

Then again – what goes around comes around, and should I want to see revenge in the first place? I think not!
But it still doesn’t change the fact that my sneakers are gone!

Parallel lives and loves

An interesting discussion is that of our life’s journey and the one of our life’s loves! I have always had an interest in both topics and I have seldom discussed these as I like to live life and get on with it. As I’m learning to share Ive lost a lot, but also grown a lot and I sometime wonder if this is how it’s actually supposed to be on this path that I call life and is it preset the route that gets taken.

In life I believe we all have our own path to walk. No one can ever understand what you see, what you feel what you hear what you smell. Everyone, no matter how similar, has their own path to walk on and in the process I believe many people cross your path, walk next to you on their path, some wonder off and come back while others never do. Each and ever path has its own experiences, battles and triumphs. Some of these paths never even come near you, but still they are on a path that just perhaps is on a different level to yours and can at times even affect your path.

Life is interesting because of that. The sooner we realize that we are all on individual paths and that no two paths can ever be in the same place at the same time, we start realizing how unique our own lives really are. Perhaps it’s a way of not expecting too much from anyone or perhaps it’s a reason to expect more, but no matter how you look at it, yours is yours and theirs is theirs, and ne’r the twain shall meet!

Love on the other hand is something that you carry along with you on your path. Its like the mist that surrounds you and at times two mists create a cloud that is just too wonderful. Sometimes the two clouds create electricity and work while other clouds created make a loud thunder and crash in the process. Pretty soon the two clouds part and you are surrounded by your own mist once again.

Love has many facets. We love each and every person, or animal, in a different way. A mother loves both her children equally but in a very different way because each child is so different and the chemistry and dynamics of each child with their mother will always be different, but there is no measure on the mothers love, just because it’s different. Lovers fall in love and build a relationship based on that energy that is created at first. Sometimes the energy fizzles out, sometimes it’s a negative combination of energies and they soon part, but then there is the marvel of falling in love and creating a love that is just wonderful and strong, no matter what.

I believe falling in love is a phase. Loving someone is not. Real relationships go through good times, bad times happy times and sad. They are confidence builders, and sometime confidence destroyers, but the actual root is so strong that the continual growth over the years makes it worth nurturing to grow stronger and stronger. At times you are in love with each other but that does not last forever. The relationships root would not sustain the ‘in-love; strength all the time. It’s the love that builds the root and the moments of being ‘in love’ are like the nutrients that you feed it. The relationship base is that of love and the in love is the part that’s like a roller coaster; sometimes scary, sometimes exciting, sometimes fun, sometimes… but the roller-coaster ride goes in and out of your love ‘root’ as your journey together continues.

Im not willing to loose my loves, but I cant stop them from wanting to loose me. I believe in nurturing the root to the death and on my life’s path, that’s very important to me. I cannot choose who I love or who I fall in love with because I am not someone that goes out looking for love, yet it does not stop my loved ones from doing what is right in their life’s path. If the root is worth fighting for, and wanted, then all should be able to be worked through no matter what.

The life path is our solid footing and the air we breathe which is a necessity as we are on it alone. The loves on our path are like the bonuses we get as we walk along our path. IT makes our path more enjoyable mostly, but occasionally there are some hidden thorns hidden away.

I believe that the pain of the thorns is worth bearing, no matter what. My life is so much more fulfilled for having these bonuses and I cant help but wanting them to improve, but I also realize that not all bonuses believe what I do, and its sad.

I can never ever release those bonuses from my heart as I walk along my life’s path! Our life paths and our loves are all on a parallel road, called happiness.

Is Procrastination costing you?

It never seizes to amaze me how we all procrastinate, and then have the guilty feelings of - why did we not do it when we had the time?

How do we get to this point in our lives and why do we all do it on a daily basis, some more than others, and how do we get past it? What makes us go to work and get things done yet in our own lives we put so much off for another time, then before we know it the time has passed us and we actually don’t get to do it all as we planned in the first place. My question then is, why do we even plan to do it in the first place?

Procrastination is like a thief that sneaks into our houses at night to rob us of time, of possibilities and of money. Isn’t it funny that the sooner you realize that the thief has stolen your money the quicker you will pay attention? I say that it steals money because at the end of the day the longer you wait to do the things the less you get done and money is one of those things that gets wasted along the way, or the possibility of making it dwindles.

I value my time. I put a price on it that is not generally financially orientated because I think the most important thing that you can give of yourself is your time. So for anyone to realize the value of time I refer to money because your time is worth a value that you may not consider at first. Let’s put it this way, every time you go see a doctor you pay for his time and his knowledge. How much knowledge do you have to share with the world and how much would you charge for that knowledge, seeing that you are wasting your time? Then again, are you not worth all the time in the world and all the money?

For anyone else to know what your value is you first have to know what that value is yourself. You need to spend time on yourself and you need to know what needs to be done to get where you need to go. You are the first step towards putting a value on your time and you are the one that needs to appreciate how much you’ve achieved to be able to do that. Yet we don’t! So how do we get around it?

To get around procrastination we need to look at how much we want to achieve and in how short/long a time we want to achieve it. Sound similar to ambition? Most certainly does, but what is the use of ambition if you don’t get off your ass to get past the thieving procrastination that’s holding you hostage!

I think we need to learn self defense against procrastination! I think a good dose of schooling in concentration would be a start. Concentrate on yourself. Concentrate on your worth. Concentrate on beating the thief. Concentrate on getting done what needs to be done. Concentrate on you as a person to realize what you are letting slip by - like the sand in a time glass. Procrastination makes the sand run faster, and time stops for no man or woman.

So come on, get off your ass! Concentrate on what’s stopping you and beat it! Just do it, is a famous slogan. Here is mine:

Just done it!

Euphoric

One of the things Ive noticed lately with all the things I go through in my mind is that I seem to think, re-think and still re-think things over and over again. I try looking at the situations in my life from my point of view from others point of view and then I try look at it from a point of view of someone who does not know me or the situation. Its not easy, but it does become quite creative in seeing the same challenge from different perspectives, and its even more amazing how your own point of view can be influenced by these types of ‘viewings’.

Challenges are not bad, as much as we hate them. Challenges help us see our demons as well as our guardian angels. Challenges help us evolve as human beings and grow up. Look at all the challenges we faced as children – just the mere fact that we wanted to walk and not crawl was a challenge. We would get up and fall down, get up again and fall down again, until we started getting to grips with gravity and balance. Then the challenge was not a challenge anymore and we moved on to perhaps learning how to walk quickly without falling, and then perhaps try running.

We are faced with challenges every single day. Some are hard, some are easy, some make us stress while others leave us feeling fantastic. How different would life be if we did not have these challenges? Imagine your life, where everything was easy to achieve, not a challenge and as you thought it you got it? Would that not leave us all a little dull? What would be the value of life if everything was served on a silver platter, or gold, if that’s what you wished?

The World Cup Football matches have been fantastic to watch. I used to play a little football in my youth so I get excited when I am able to watch professionals doing something that they love and also doing it so well. This World Cup has already shown many surprises in the results that are coming in daily and each and every team is pulling their weight to try achieving the trophy of trophies!

We as onlookers set a lot of expectation in the team of our choice, be it the country that you belong to or just the team that you favor in general. Many of the onlookers I have observed have high expectations of previous winners and previous teams. Is this a good thing or a bad thing Im not sure, but I do know that from the experiences that the lesser teams have gained through previous matches, the surprises are coming fast and furious. These lesser teams have had to face challenges not only through perhaps constantly loosing to better teams at the time, but have had the determination to continue training and push forward to perhaps loose time and time again, until such time as they surprise everyone else.

I think these highlight experiences in football are so apt for our everyday lives. We strive; we loose some we win some, but the hard workers and perseverer’s are the ones that come out at the top. Sometimes the underdog has a great wealth of knowledge that still needs to be shared and they become the top dog because of all the challenges they have had to face. Should we be looking at them in a lower light while they are down, and looking at the top dogs in a better light while they are up?

I do know that good results are achieved through constant challenges and constant hard work to move forward. I think we should enjoy the euphoria of the situation while it lasts and I think we should not try recreating the situation, as it will never be the same. It can’t be, because time is what gets in the way and the challenges are different.

Sometimes through all my thinking and re-thinking I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders because I do want everything to be just right, but its not always up to me, and the situation may not allow for it to be that way in the future. On other days I feel like the weight of the world has been sucked into a black hole within the universe and I awake feeling euphoric, for no known reason whatsoever. At times I try analyze these sudden euphoric feelings, as a football team would analyze their previous losses, and at others I just enjoy them whole-heartedly.

I realized suddenly this morning that these euphoric feelings are a gift to be enjoyed and not analyzed. I need to enjoy the moment for what it is and allow myself to enjoy them as they come because tomorrow is another day with different results surely to be prominent. Perhaps this is what is meant by living in the moment as the football players do when they score a goal or win the World Cup.

For some unknown reason I suddenly felt a sense of Euphoria this morning when I woke up. Im not analyzing it but actually enjoying it and its given me the greatest pleasure to be able to share it with everyone.

Enjoy every moment while you have it!

Diversity

One of my most special friends commented to me the other night that he enjoyed what I wrote about as he found it very honest and diversified in theme. I think its where my mind is at right now. Not specifically going through one thing but facing the huge amounts of turmoil’s, ideas, creative eruptions and more, all at once. They are sporadic and sometimes very disconnected. Exactly how I feel at the moment. For years I thought of myself as a Jack of all trades Master of none. I get excited by the amounts of interesting things there are in the world to learn about, do, partake in and try. Does that make me Master of none? Im now realizing that no, I am a master of many more things than I ever thought but the most important of all though is the fact that Ive mastered having so many special people in my life.

My Life Coach back in Europe that I was working with while there, introduced me to a topic, unknown to me at the time, and something that Ive mentioned in a previous posting; THE PORTFOLIO CAREER.

Apparently many people are getting into it. Its that many people are faced with the same situation that I am – the love of many different areas. I love many things and Im interested in more, which Ive not even come to yet. I try them all when they come into my life as I don’t believe that any stone should be unturned when searching for your passion. The portfolio career is based on various income streams in various areas. So you can become a therapist on Saturdays (should you have the studies) and then a fitness instructor in the mornings and afternoon, and work as a Banker from Monday to Friday. You can also have a hobby like cooking that encourages you to create your own recipes and change others, ultimately getting you to write a cookbook, and then also perhaps find time in between all this to actually write a blog, spend time with friends and do things that are not income streams but still part of your life as a person.

Ive always been interested in various things, but never as much as I have been over the past 5-10 years. This is when I left the entertainment industry and started the journey, I suppose, without realizing it back then, on discovering what I am, who I am and where I want to go. I think this is worth research, and research I do. I am still in a job that I don’t like, but I am researching the other possibilities that allow me my various outlets of my artistic side.

I am a mentor and I am a good friend as well as being a human being and a mess at times. I have good days and bad days and to make me all the more human – I snore and I fart! But inside me there is a heart the size of Africa, with a spirit as old as Europe and the energy the size of the Americas. I sometimes think my brain is the size of Ibiza, yet I know for all these things to happen in this body of mine, there must be some good that comes out of Ibiza, and powerful enough to keep it working, moving and being strong.

Somewhere in this world of mine I know I will find the clues that I seek to help me fulfill my passions, as I do believe there are many, so the Diversity of topics I may write about are the various parts of my world that are more prominent on that particular day. The diversity in career re portfolio career, is something that I aim for.

I love the fact that this was brought up to me because I do write about the various things that I am going through, what I want to do and dreams I want to achieve. Its this diversification that has made me friends with all the special people in my life and the diversity of the friends in themselves, you being one of them and very prominently as well just for making time to read the blog.

I love the diversity in my life, and Im trying to be honest in these diversities that I am challenged with on a day to day basis. It makes for an exciting life albeit lonely at times as I realize while going in search of the things that are making up my autobiography. My autobiography of my life as I live it.

Im looking for the Diversity in my passions to help me create this portfolio career and the various income streams to help me discover more and more of the other diversities that I have yet to encounter.

Maybe I am a Jack of all trades Master of none, but by golly – I love the interesting paths that I encounter along the way in this journey of mine - because more importantly than anything, I am the MASTER of my own world.

Our life’s story

Each and every one of us has a story to tell. Our friends tell us what happened in their day, the ladies go to tea to discuss what they are doing with themselves and children create stories to make their lives a little more interesting. We all have a story to tell.

Now look at your life and think about all the stories you have to tell of things that have happened in your life. Look at what the story was – it probably had a start, middle and an end. It may have been a funny thing that happened when you were at school or a sad story of something you experienced and an interesting story of how you came out of a situation that was rough. We all have many stories to tell.

We are all living our own Autobiography. We may not think that it’s as interesting as many of the famous ‘autobiographies’ that we see, hear about and read but it is unique, because its our own autobiography. We are living it as we walk, talk, breath, eat or sleep. We always have something to say to our friends, to our family or to our children and it’s a real story that we have lived through, experienced and talked about, no matter how trivial or how grand it was.

As children many of us would have a diary where we wrote of about our day's happenings. It was a journal of our life as we were living it. As we get older we find that we have less time to do this and so many of the things go un-noted, and many times forgotten, until something triggers that particular story to bring it back into our conscious mind again.

Think back to the 'old days' when that generation would tell stories thus passing them on from generation to generation; some wonderful stories that in our modern day life-style we tend to forget or not continue telling and thus they get lost. From many of these stories we can learn a lesson or get an idea or perhaps even find a solution to a modern day challenge. Some stories we hold close to our hearts and they ring true to us in our everyday lives.

Ive found that by writing down the stories that happen to me, the challenges and the difficulties, I seem to come out feeling better. I get the difficulties off my chest to release them from my soul and I have a chuckle as I remember a sweet story and what happened in the situation. Its also a great way to have a look at it on paper, and often enough help you see it in a different light. They are also great to go back to - to re-read and remember. In the difficult times they become a companion to us to see what has happened, what we have achieved and often to show us that things are not as dire as they may seem while we are living the experience.

When I am angry or need to get something off my chest that is building up, I write it down and then burn the pages. My ritual, that I probably don’t do as often as I should, but I still do it and it feels like finality has been achieved to whatever it may be that I want to release.

I remember taking a few hours to write a letter, pre computers and email. It was a fantastic way of sharing what was happening in my life with friends and loved ones. Hand written letters with spelling mistakes and many times illegible because I would get so excited about what I was writing, or a story that I was telling. Even then we had a story to tell, and now we also have stories to tell, but we use the computers to do it with and the youngest schoolboy now probably types quicker than what a normal secretary would do in the old days when type writing. How times have changed, but how many stories are still the same, just a different place and time, with different participants.

I think its good to write these stories down. I think its good to also write down what it is you want to happen in your life. You are then making your own blue print of how you want your life to go. I believe us all to be natural story tellers but not natural writers so don’t let it stop you if you can’t write - I know I havent loet it stop me. You are the one that needs to understand it and if you are creating the blueprint to your life, you will understand it because it’ll be fresh in your memory and in front of your eyes as you read it.

You can have a start – what you want to achieve.
You can have a middle – what plan you have to make it happen
You can have an end – how did you achieve it, what you are feeling and what did you learn or better still, what plans has it inspired for your next story!
You can create your own life plan and make it work and happen as you see fit.
Perhaps we should all go back to journal writing and re write what we want in our lives.
Perhaps we should make notes of our life as it happens to be able to remind us of all we have achieved, when things get rough.
Let’s all take action and lets all start writing our life as we want it to be.


"Write for the pleasure of writing. As the pen traces out words on the paper, your anguish disappears and your happiness remains. For this to happen, it is necessary to have the courage to look deep inside yourself." – Paulo Coelho

Hope Lives in us all!

One of the things Ive been dealing with and having around me is heartbreak. Heartbreak is the worst pain to go through because there is nothing physically broken, yet it seems worse than a serious broken bone, and sometimes the healing process is a lot longer. It’s a unique pain and it has a ripple effect in our lives because it brings up tons of other emotions that seem worse than they normally do in other situations.

Its not a pain like indigestion or what many call ‘heart burn’ and is not a symptom that can be solved with Pepto Bismal, Rennies or milk. It’s a pain that hurts your core, eats at your mind and gives you restless nights. It happens because of the expectancy we have in others and them not wanting us. Its never easy and is not something that you get experience in because each time you experience it, its different.

Unfortunately no matter what I read about how to get over this pain or how many people I speak to, councilors included, I realize that Im concentrating on the problem more and more. I don’t want to grieve because I believe in Hope

Hope is something that I live with everyday. Hope is something that makes me know that at the end of the rainbow there is a pot of gold. Hope is a belief that things can work out for the best and that the possibilities in life are endless. Hope that a family doesn’t get broken up. Hope that you will find yourself again. Hope that the sun will come out tomorrow. I think hope is a spiritual feeling and lived with as one does with your religion or your faith. I can’t switch my love off if I have it in me. I don’t understand how others can, so I prefer to live my life with hope. It’s a choice - My choice.

Hope is something you carry in your heart and wear on your sleeve. Its an aura that surrounds you and you believe in. I suppose grieving is important when you believe its completely over, but until such time I have hope.
I have my heart in the right place.
I have my love in tact.
I have my hope that all will be revealed and that tomorrow the sun will come out and rise in the east.

Hope still hurts though, as the silence is deafening. Perhaps the deafening silence gives me time to listen to things I’ve never heard before.

Habits

Habits are something we all have. We mostly do them unconsciously and they become second nature to us only when we learn to do them on a conscious level. If you look at a person who is learning to smoke, they fumble at first with the cigarette, then don’t always get the lighter to work on the first flick of the finger, but look at the same person a few months later and it’s as if they are doing it with ease, experience and it comes across as natural to them and who they are.

What am I getting to about habits? I think its something I’ve been looking at a lot lately through my mental and emotional states and the habit forms I have with these. I spoke about my motivation and how I lay in bed and get excited about the day – it’s a habit. I spoke about my fear of anyone getting to know what I am feeling – another habit. I then started realizing that for things to change in these areas I need to change my habits.

I’ve been watching people around me. I see that some people, who are excited by life, attract others who are excited by life. The people that are attracted by these ‘life-lovers’ are not always themselves in that euphoric state yet, but are hanging with the ‘life-lovers’ to feed off them, learn from them and perhaps copy them, as habits are contagious in my eyes.

By consciously making a shift in my thinking I can become aware of my habits and how I want to change them. I also realize that I need to know specifically which ones I want to change and constantly work on them. I need to know that not everything has success from the word GO, but through perseverance and working at it, I will have new habits and in a few months won’t even be aware of how I do them any longer as they will become second nature to me.

A personal example I have that I keep reminding myself of; when I started in the Finance Industry, I would have to generate leads. I would meet people get their telephone numbers and then at a later hour, or day, I would need to contact these leads to set up appointments. I had so much difficulty making the calls. I even remember that a friend who sat with me as I made my very first call, laughed at me as I hung up and he asked me: “WHY are you so nervous?” I had a nervous timbre in my voice, my heart was beating loudly in my ears and my hand was shaking.
I look at how I make calls today, 6 years later, and I see that I am completely calm, I have a smile on my face, I speak with confidence and the telephone has become second nature to me.

I then think to myself – If I can do it with a telephone, why not with my personal mental and emotional habits as well? I want to change some of them and I want to wear them as a proud part of me and my soul as I walk through life.

Stripping yourself bare is hard at the best of times, but it allows us, as individuals, to grow. It’s not a rebirth but most certainly the feeling of spring after long cold winter. Everything starts growing again, looking fresh and clean and blossoms come out to just make one feel, well, happy. But you have to go through the stripping bare to get to that spring feeling and if you realize you are going to come out feeling springy than the goal is well worth the reward. But to get to that point we need to understand what it is we want to change about ourselves.

Our emotional habits and our mental habits are probably the hardest ones to break.

The mental habits are the ones that cause us to snap when we should hold our tongue. They make us say nasty things at times, and lest not forget how many of us have said hurtful things in arguments, when the words just seem to flow out of our mouths and we actually don’t really mean them. Later we regret ever having said them. Most of all it’s sometimes used as a below the belt tactic to really get that sting of what we are saying, to be felt. And we all know what it feels like when it’s done to us. Its things that we land up going over in our minds for days after wards, and feel really hurt by because it’s that kick in the groin that just won’t go away.

The emotional ones I think are the ones that are instigated by us, for some unknown reason. We flirt with someone and things go a bit too far and then we are left with wanting more but in reality the feeling is not felt on both sides. It takes the wind out of our sails and we mope around waiting expectantly for it to change, but it doesn’t.

These are just two examples that I can give right now as I am in the process of working through my own mental and emotional habits as we speak. It takes a lot of self control and patience to break these habits, but I believe they can be broken. You will have your own examples and I can guarantee you that there must be at least 10 things that we each do that we don’t like doing, but due to force of habit they just happen. What I’m trying to find is the trigger. What triggers these reactions, these thoughts and these emotions? What is the trigger that makes us flip a lid, or get jealous?

In some instances we may seek professional help but I personally believe that if we start seeing what triggers these habits to play up, we will well be able to break the habit. Of course we have to want to change in the first place and I do, so I’m seeking within myself what I want to change and what triggers the reaction.

The Energy that flows through us all

I am an energetic person. I am 45 with the energy of a bouncing hyperactive 25 year old, and I seem to get more energy the older I get. My brother is an energetic person, and at 49 years old he has the energy of a 29 year old. Why is this? What allows us to have this energy which seems constantly accessible, to a point, and how do we generate this amount of voltage in our system that at times seems to be enough voltage to run Las Vegas for a month?
Yet the way we both use our energy is so, so different. Or is it?

The energy that seems to flow through each of us on a day to day basis depends on how we awake each morning and how we channel it through our moods. Some days we awake feeling pooped and the way we move through the day is sluggish, and slow. On other days we awake hearing the birds sing and we just have a spring in our step, and the whole day has us bouncing around as if walking with spring shoes on, head held high and seeing life through rose coloured glasses. How then is it that the energy I have seems to hit me when I am in bed? I hate laying in bed as I feel like my body is going to sleep and I don’t like the feeling of pins and needles in my butt and legs as I lay on the sheets, and I tend to get very hot.

My way of being is generally that of being motivated to get up and discover a new day. Each day has its surprises and disappointments. Some we take more personally and others we just brush off as unimportant – and this is all dependent on the frame of mind we are in. Other days the things that irritate us are bearable and we just laugh and get on with it, not being bothered by them at all.

I think this energy flow is something unique to each and every one of us. We go out looking, expecting and searching for things to happen and they don’t. Could this be that our energy level is misaligned to our actual thought processes or are we just not getting what we want because the universe does not have them planned for us OR, we actually don’t really want them in the first place, but just don’t own up to it. On other days we go out with a controlled energy as to not expecting, not searching, not wanting things to happen, and then EVERYTHING happens!

Im very conscious of my energy, I have to be as often I need to tone it down because I am so excited by life. This makes me talk loudly, and then I get told shhhhhhh, or I get passionate about a discussion and it comes across as an argument, because of how forceful I feel and discuss the topic. It’s obviously embarrassing to those that surround me as its been brought to my attention, and often times totally misunderstood. But that’s how I’ve felt all my life, misunderstood. My energy levels seem to be understood by others with the same energy levels and I suppose that’s where the law of attraction falls into place, and what sometimes makes opposites attract.

I’m trying so hard to learn how to control my energy and channel it to do what I want it to do, and as you can imagine, not too easy at times. Yesterday was an exceptionally busy day for me. I had a lot of paper work, 5 clients to see in different parts of Cape Town dealing with traffic and then talking calmly about the client’s financial needs. By the time I got home I had more paper work to do, and it was only 3 pm. By 4 o’clock I was in the gym and did a 45 minute weight session, came home again, changed and then went to a ballet lesson for an hour. When I got home I cooked dinner for a girlfriend and we sat chatting afterwards till about 10. Then I seemed to get creative thoughts and got a lot of little personal projects going, writing my blog and rechecking paperwork for the clients I saw today. I got to bed by 2.30 this morning and awoke again at 6.30.

And still I don’t feel like I have channelled my energies to how I want them to be used, and I suppose that would be in finding a balance - a balance of how to use this abundance that I have and want to share with the world. A balance of channelling the energy I have that seems to boil inside of me looking for the vent to escape. What makes my body so different with the abundance that I have inside of physical energy, mental energy and emotional energy?

The life coach I had in Spain got me on track to help me sort my life out, for myself, and also challenge myself to what I can and will do with the rest of my life. It’s made me realise that I am very much aware of what I can do but I am in the process of trying to discover, or perhaps challenge myself further, into how to channel these energies into getting done what I want to do. But there is so much I want to do – and now I realise that I must use this energy to focus on one thing at a time. It’s not easy for me as I tend to be busy with 4 different things at the same time but I am learning to sit still and write the blog on a daily basis. That is such a huge step for me as I am now channelling energy through the blog to people I know and don’t know.
Can I take this further and delve into the portfolio career that my coach thought I should look into? I’m trying my hardest to discover myself, discover my interests and discover my true path in life. Isn’t it amazing that I have so much energy supply to help me in this search?

When last have you looked at your energies and how you utilize them? It’s really an uplifting experience to become aware of what flows through you. Try it.
I give thanks for it every morning and every night when I go to bed.

Selflessness – what is it?

The most interesting question was posed on Facebook yesterday by a friend who lives in France and the question read: Can anyone suggest to me a 'selfless deed'?
I responded without even thinking: giving your time, without any expectancy of a return, except through seeing the joy in another’s eyes as you do it. Finding the right moment is important and the right place, but you will know it when you do it, as you will feel the bliss of happiness because someone else is receiving the joy that you contributed towards and yet the only thing you got in return was the good feeling in your heart!
To which he responded: very nice. I understand you and love your way of thinking.
I always knew that you are a very kind and giving man ;) but I am looking for even more selfless than that; meaning, even the return of self satisfaction (the blissful happiness), no benefit for me whatsoever. Complete selflessness....

So, always up for a challenge, and wanting to learn more for myself, I clicked on the good old GOOGLE startup page and typed in “Selflessness, definition”. There were lots of links available so I went to Wikipedia as the way everything is written and explained there seems to make sense to me.
Wikipedia definition – the act of sacrificing one’s own interest for the greater good.
It also refers to Altruism, a word I’ve never heard before (I am learning a lot!) which is – a selfless concern for the welfare of others, opposite to selfishness!

GOOD GOLLY MOLLY! What the...! Now is this not an interesting topic? I had so much going through my mind. Mother Teresa and the good she has done in the world, even Princess Diana, Gandhi, Jesus, Mohammed, and all the biggies that we so readily see and hear about through our own personal upbringing and also the press, books and television.
Then I thought about me, and do I consider myself to be selfless and if not how can I go about being selfless?

I am a person who likes to do things for others. I like to help where I can and I prefer taking control to make others feel comfortable, relaxed and at ease. Does this mean I’m selfless? My intentions may be in a selfless way but the outcome does not really fall into the definition according to what I read. Is it because I do it intentionally that I am actually rather being selfish in my ways, because I like doing it and because I want to get the satisfaction of seeing that others are enjoying themselves? Am I being selfish by taking control of the situation and just doing it, or should I sit back and let others offer their selflessness so that I can enjoy what they do in return?

I don’t know what to say! I’m actually stumped for words. I’ve been told that I am selfish because I don’t let others help or because I always want to be in control. I’ve been told that I’m a nice guy who offers up his time and resources where possible. I’ve been told so many things over my life time that coming across this question, I find myself doubting myself and my intentions. Then it got me thinking, what does my heart feel?

I know that I want to do the best that I can for whoever surrounds me at all times, be it helping unpack their closet, listening to them offload their problems, cooking dinner for them or just making sure they are tucked in bed because they have the flue. My intentions are always meant to be good because I think I am a nurturer. I like looking after people but does that make me selfless or selfish? Is the fact that I look after my ‘family’ just expected from me as a man or is it that because I am a man I feel that that’s what society expects of me and so I unconsciously give in to the so-called peer pressure? As a man do I see things differently to the way a woman would see it? That’s another topic completely but I do believe that yes, men are different to woman, and because of that I’m starting to wonder – am I selflessly giving of myself but in a selfish way because of what is expected of me?

There seems to be such a fine unseen line between the two. What I like about the question is that it gives me room to think about what I’m doing and what the results are that I am expecting when I do them. I then realized, perhaps that’s what makes me a selfish person – the fact that I am looking at what result I get from it, even if it’s only a smile.

Is it possible to be completely selfless without expecting something in return no matter how small or insignificant? I think I have a lot to learn on the subject and learn how to differentiate the two that are split by a fine line and yet stand on opposite sides of the wheel.
This in itself motivates me to help more, expect less and give of myself in a nurturing way without having to think about what I expect, be it consciously or unconsciously.

Can we actually consciously find selflessness, or is it something that just happens at the spur of the moment and then we move on? On the other hand is it about not being perfect, but at least trying, making a go of it?

Ever-changing horizons

2012 seems to be a topic that I’ve heard people talking about, I’ve spoken about it myself and Hollywood has made a movie on it. Many times the conversation is based around Hollywood’s –doomsday- saga! Yet another big budget blockbuster with all the bells and whistles to attract people in by the millions!
A few days ago “anonymous” wrote that she has been following my blog and she has had time to think about her own things in her life, and has come to the realization that she is happy. She has a wonderful family, is content and is blessed with great friends.

What is the comparison between anonymous’ comment and 2012? Nothing really, but it did get me thinking about what we believe for ourselves and the faith we have that lies therein. I suppose that’s what sparked the distant relation between the two. Faith is something so powerful; the faith in those around us, the faith in our family and friends but ultimately the faith that we have in ourselves - the most important one of all. I speak of faith as being a ‘believing sense’ that we all have – perhaps our 6th sense. I speak of faith in a broader spectrum that is not necessarily a religious topic, but does not exclude it either. Spiritually speaking is not necessarily talking about religion but awareness within ourselves, the environment around us and the universe that we all fit into.

Just after Hollywood released 2012, I went to see it on the big screen. I’m a bit of a sucker for a Hollywood action type movie as it’s a fantastic escape from all the pressures we face daily. I was in Barcelona and saw the movie in English in a VO (version original) cinema. Another friend had seen the movie in Spanish and over drinks one afternoon we discussed what we liked and didn’t like about the movie. It was a conversation that followed the path to a very interesting topic of the Mayans, Inca’s etc. and what was happening to the world we live in as we slowly walk towards 2012.

I found it very interesting that my friends’ perspective of 2012 was about a spiritual awareness that seems to be happening in the world. The fact that the calendars of these wise ‘old folk’ ends in this year is not about the end of the world but rather about the conscious awareness of how we see the world and how we will see the world thereafter. An awareness of sorts, that will awaken people’s minds and spirits to being more considerate towards the world we live in, themselves and others.

Its an interesting theory because I am looking towards my insides to find answers to my life. I hear more and more clients talking about their religious inclinations - be it Christianity, Muslims or even Buddhists? IT often has me thinking about what my beliefs are and how the universe interacts with all these religious beliefs taking into consideration other understandings, like astrology, numerology and the like. I read a Christian writing the other day where he spoke of his religion and how he has come to realize that he also believes in the universe, and to him this signified that he prayed to the stars because in reality that was his understanding of heaven – being up there in the stars.

The most important thing that I am taking out of this is that I believe they all work together; the religious, the spiritual, the esoteric, astrology, numerology etc etc. I see that people are realizing that there is so much more to the world we live in and are becoming less uncomfortable to discuss the way they feel and I see so much more conversations happening that are crossing boundaries never before crossed and it really excites me tremendously.

Maybe the Hollywood version of 2012 is not so far off – dooms day – to the old ways of our world and maybe anonymous has grasped this concept and found her happiness through sharing these things of herself with all those that surround her. The fact that she thought about it, took time to ponder on it and then write back is something that makes me so proud of what is being achieved in my life and my journey and coming to fruition through this blog.

I am a dreamer and I will always dream. I think great things are achieved by great dreamers and it comes to life through everything that surrounds us, seen or unseen, because of the faith we have in ourselves and those who surround us. Anonymous made me rethink where I am in life and reminded me that I am in my own paradise and need to realize it as I go. It’s not the one challenge that makes my life unhappy but rather the combination of all the bits I am feeling, thinking, going through and sharing that really makes my life very happy. Sure I have heart-wrenching parts in my life right now, but that’s also only one part. Through this heart-wrench I am discovering that no door is ever closed without another being open and that the universe is guiding me towards an even richer fulfilled life than I have already been blessed to have. I would like to have my 2 hearts with me, but I am now also understanding that everything happens for a reason and a lesson, perhaps a realization of where I am, where I need to be and where I am going.

A quote from Jana Stanfield so profound to me at the moment:
I cannot do all the good that the world needs but the world needs all the good that I can do!

If music be the food of life…

Veelia oh Veelia, the witch of the woods….. a beautiful piece of music that still haunts my very soul. I think it’s from The Merry Widow and it’s a song that I remember my father often singing. To this day when I hear a version of the song I feel tears welling up as it invokes so much emotion within my soul. My father is no longer on this earth but lives on in my memories and the meager mention of the songs name Veelia, gives me a rush of vivid memories shared with my father and I, in a stage of life when everything seemed to be so simple.

I love music. It can make me irritated, it can make me sad, but most of all it can make me feel happy and content. Happiness and contentment is the feelings I aim for right now so I like to fill my life with feel-good music. I’m sure you all know what I mean. It’s the music that lifts our soul and takes us to a place that only we can go to when we hear it. All sorts of music from different genre’s can do this to anyone and I wonder why we are not filling our lives with more music all the time.

I am not a rap fan. I find it gets me feeling tense and feeling like I want to punch the wall. The lyrics generally seem to be so aggressive and as I’m in my car a lot, I get to hear the songs occasionally and have to change radio stations to wait for the song to pass. But I can’t generalize, as there are some rap songs that I do actually like, I thought I’d share the lyric section with you here, because it invokes a beautiful sense of tranquility within my soul.

‘Beautiful girls , all over the world, I could be chasing but my time would be wasted, they got nothing on you baby, nothing on you…’

What am I trying to get to here? Well, I think it’s important to realize that generalizations are not good. We can find such beauty in the most unexpected places and at the same time use them to our own advantage to motivate us to look, and dig deeper, within ourselves and through sharing with others! Maybe we should take a chance on looking where we’ve never looked and discover things that enlighten our souls to a happier sense of feeling that we all seem to be in search of.

I do believe that you should never leave any stone unturned. Taking the time to discover myself again, I have found that there is so much joy to be found in places I’ve never looked, because I closed my mind to what I generalized. I suppose it goes back to the labels that I spoke about the other day. I am trying to look into those generalizations to discover and find true gems that I previously missed.

Music has made me relook at everything I took for granted previously. I am opening my mind to discover new adventures and delve within to research myself and the feelings that are brought to surface with these new discoveries. One of the true loves of my life often says: there are none so blind as those who do not see. I’ve always found it to be such an interesting saying, but until yesterday when I listened to the rap song on the radio, do I think I understand the depth of the saying.

We take so much for granted and miss so much because we do not take the time to look. We rush by in our lives and seem to look at things as we do through a car window that’s rushing along the highway at 120kms. Quick flashes of life that look like any other flash of life we pass, yet when we slow down, turn off the road and take the time to look closer at those flashes of life, we find a new source of inspiration.

They are all around us; in the food that we don’t want to taste, in the books we don’t want to read, in the music we don’t want to hear. In the smells we don’t want to sniff and I think in the people we don’t want to associate ourselves with. Are we depriving ourselves of one of the best discoveries we may ever make, because we are too scared to take a chance?

Are we actually not putting our own life’s recipe together? Should we not be like Jamie Oliver, and discover new ways to our own life’s pastry with the array of wonders that we are all surrounded by, and not taking time to see, hear, feel touch and smell? Some of the ingredients may be out of season but the music can still continue if we take a chance to find other unique ingredients that we’ve never tried before. Let’s all aim to take a chance on a new song in our life, just one. Take the time to discover the emotions within ourselves – good or bad – and open our minds to understanding and creating new and wondrous feelings, and then remember those new emotions being evoked.

Wouldn’t it make our life so much richer and fulfilling? I know I have a new haunting rap-song in my life, and it makes me feel good, sad, lonely, happy and most of all alive!

Let our own life’s music help us discover the beautiful arrangement that is better than Brahms or Bach, because it is uniquely or own score!

Time is a ticking, tick tock tick tock

We all have time on our side…. Or do we? We take so much for granted, we squander on frivolities and we live like tomorrow will never come. It’s fantastic! Live in the here and now – let bygone’s be bygone’s and whatever cliché there is to be said about time.

Its an interesting topic because I seem to have let time slip through my fingers at certain stages of life. I can’t get it back but I can learn to time manage it in a better way so that I can use it wisely, perhaps not sparingly! I can take time and chew on it and let it quench my thirst at the same time. IT can however give me an upset stomach at times and diarrhea at others. It can make my stomach feel giddied and full of butterflies on occasion but when Im excited I get a strange feeling of nothing! Why is that?

Time is the most important thing in our life - besides the most obvious necessities like food and water – and yet I realize that I don’t use it on myself enough. Do I give of it too sparingly to others and should I hold it back from those who abuse it? How do I know if they need more time and how do I know if I am being abused by it?

So many adverts and discussions on giving money to help so and so in certain times of need and our own family are quick to throw money at certain special occasions that now seem to be so much about what you can buy, not about what thought has gone into it. Would it not be nicer to be aware of the time that you can share with your loved ones? Could you not feel more fulfilled to share your time to the charities and special needs that are in such dire need of people to help? Yes money makes it easier and we all know that it’s a basic staple of today’s living ways, but is it not more humane to be able to take time out and share it with the ones that are in need, be they family or not? Are we not all on this earth at the same time?

What about time wasted, by us and others, on creating problems and interjecting into others lives? Is it fare to be able to upset another human being, to the very core, that it uses up their time on trying to sort out why, where or when this situation was given the fuel to create the raging fire? Are we using our time to try control the time of others and why would we want to feel that power over another in any case?

It’s been done to me, just recently, and I realized after much time being upset that the brain drain it caused me was not worth it as I can’t stop what others say about me. I cannot stop them wasting their time on trying to ruin my life and anyway, it’s my time to use as I choose and I choose not to waste any more time on what is said through being upset! Unfortunately there are others that do believe that the time is not wasted because its possibly what they are looking for as an answer in their lives. To be downright mean!

This weekend a dear new friend was telling me about her horror stories of another trying to interfere in her life. IT really upset her and it was uncomfortable for me to not be able to do anything about it. I realized I can’t do anything about it because the new friend has to come to terms with the time being spent by herself, on giving this problem her attention! I could only offer the advice of not indulging into the topic and wasting her time in the process.
With so much of this type of thing happening in the world through friends, foes, press and television is it not about time that in 2010 we start looking towards how we can use our time to help others by giving of our time? It saddens me that people are getting hurt because we are so selfish, perhaps jealous, to not take note on the time we use to hurt others!

I think the motivation for all of us this week is to take note on the time we waste on the things we don’t want to do, on the people we hurt and on the things we are really missing all because we don’t manage our own time. Then again it is our time to use as we want…

Tick tock tick tock tick tock

My motivation from others

I like to think of myself as motivated. I often enough don’t know where it comes from I just know that I have to get on with it and do it. Sometimes I think it may be because of my upbringing when I was told that if I didn’t do it for myself, no one would do it for me. I was told that if I wanted something bad enough I could only rely on myself to go out and get it, because everyone has their own things that they want in their life.

As a child, more often than not, I did not understand the depth of these lessons, and would moan and groan feeling sorry for myself because no one would help me. The more I moaned the less attention I got, until I myself got irritated with the situation and just did what I needed to do and wanted to do. Eventually I realized that perhaps if I cut the moaning and groaning out, I would save time and would also be able to get a lot more done and perhaps quicker, leaving me more time to aim for other things that I set my mind the task to achieve.

These were not conscious awareness thoughts but just things that I did and got on with doing. At the age of 16 I think I realized just how powerful self motivation could be. I was in high school, doing singing, dancing and acting classes as extra-curricular activities and because the school I was at had no sporting activities. During one of my dance classes I felt my leg stick to the floor yet my knee and the upper part of the leg continued to turn, as we did pirouettes.
All 6’4” of me went flying, and I was in pain and my knee swelled to the size of a football! It is funny though when I think of how I flew through the air and landed under a table!

The specialist doctors I went to see told me I would have to have an operation but my dancing and sporting days were over. I was then referred to another doctor who happened to be the South African Boxing Association doctor. He said –we’ll have you up in a jiffy. 6 months after the operation and physiotherapy, I was back in dance class. I often think of the heart wrenching agony I went through – not with the knee, but rather the fact that I was told I could never do something I enjoyed again. Through patience and perseverance I was shown the light at the end of the tunnel and given hope in a place where I thought hope had moved out! At 17 I also got to swim in the South African Time Trials competing for the team against China.
I went on to have a successful 20 + years of dancing singing and entertainment as a career and all because I believed I could do it no matter what anyone , specialist or not, told me. I stopped dancing as a career for over 10 years, but have restarted ballet class again and I love it!

Last night at a cocktail function I spoke to a lady who told me she was having difficulty losing weight. She had, through unforeseen circumstances put on 30 kg’s and wanted to lose them again. Firstly I thought; Yeah right! Unforeseen circumstance? And then I asked what the circumstances were? In my mind I wanted to hide under a rock – because of what I had just thought! Nonchalantly she says Cancer! I was diagnosed with cancer, had chemo lost the hair but in the process my body changed and I put on 30 Kg’s. She then tells me that she has already lost 15 Kg’s and has 15 more to go! This same lady was full of smiles, her magnetism radiating from her every being and she danced all night.
What impressed me was that her focus was on something other than the cancer. She had been there, beaten that, and was now aiming to lose the weight. This type of motivation is what I talk about when I say ‘motivation from others’. It’s a motivating factor to see that no matter what the hurdle is you are faced with, your attitude is what makes all the difference.
I first felt like a dumbass thinking what I did, but then I felt honored to have met her. She showed me that we are in control of our own lives!

This is what I summarized it to - while laying in bed last night.
1. Intention – that she was going to beat it
2. Attention – she gave herself positive thoughts and filled her life with determination to beat the cancer
3. Stress-less – she didn’t focus on the problem but the solution and was so convinced that she had a total calm about the action and result there from.

I know I took a page out of her book last night. What is my intention, what am I focusing my attentions on and am I doing it without stress?
Id love to delve more into this at another stage, but for now I think we should all look at these three points that I come up with last night and see how we can all use it them our lives.

We most certainly can all get motivation from others if we just take the time to look and listen!

Labeling Life

The topic of labels is something that I find very interesting in today’s life, and society. Last night my good friend Miss T and I were discussing how it is we all get labeled into certain categories and if we don’t fit ‘the mould’ it seems to confuse others as to whom or what we are and then get criticized because we are strong enough to make our own decisions to not want to fall into that particular label category!

I have a Spanish friend who has 2 children. Her son constantly wants Nike trainers. In the beginning she bought him Nike trainers, but they would last for about 2 weeks. Nike trainers are not cheap and she could not afford to be buying him Nike trainers every two weeks because of them falling apart and because of how quickly he, as a teenager, was growing. She started buying cheaper, label-less brands. They lasted two weeks as well. She said to me that she doesn’t care that others think of her as a bad mother, because she is doing the best she can with what the situation dictates; making sure the child has shoes even though it’s not the labeled variety that he so wants.

Do we actually label ourselves first? I think we do. I think we like to put ourselves in a category that we think fits our mould and thereby the image we want to project to the outside world. At the same time it is our life to do as we wish, so really there’s nothing wrong with that, I suppose. What becomes interesting is that others start placing you in a mould and give you a label that is sometimes so wrong and not who you really are as a person. Are these people labeling you without being aware of what your situation is for you to act in that specific way? Are they aware that the tools you have at your disposal makes you act in a certain way, even though it may not be the way you want to act? Are we not sometimes all forced into situations because of mistakes we have made, and by trying to make them right, we get a wrong label as to who we are as people? What gives another the right to criticize what you are doing in your life without knowing the whole situation and the reasons behind what you are doing?
The scary thing is that we all do it!

In life we all wear different caps. One day we have to wear the cap of the Trainer. The following day we have to wear the cap of the Manager and the next day we have to wear the cap of the Player. Sometimes, we land up wearing certain caps longer because of the situation that we find ourselves in and whether we like it or not, it’s what there is at that specific time. It doesn’t make it right or wrong, I think it’s just life showing us the many facets that we have to face to fulfill and deal with situations as they come. We do realistically have different tools that we have collected along the way to cope with these situations, but they may be different tools to the ones the next person would use, so the next person then feels they have the right to criticize you for your decision - labeling you to be so and so.

Is there ever a right or a wrong answer to your life? I think its life experience that we garner to create a more fulfilled life and NO ONE has the right to criticize what you or I do in that specific situation, regardless of how differently we deal with the same situation. I also think the labels created are the ones we put forward for ourselves. I think that perhaps we should all start looking at our own labels and leave others labels, for them to deal with. As I said earlier, it’s something we all do, but do we take the time to step out of our own comfort zone to realize why the other person is doing what he/she is doing, or is it just easier to find fault in what others do so that we don’t have to face our own labels and our own faults? Life is made up of so many bits and it’s not one specific bit that labels you, but a combination of all the bits that make the whole. Does anyone every really know the whole?

I’m in no way perfect but can only strive to do what I think is right with what I am equipped with, as each situation presents itself to me. I may get hurt in the process, or unwillingly hurt others in the process, but as its never intentional is it right to be criticized for it? Maybe we are meant to be criticized to understand the lesson? Tough question and so debatable on many levels, because we all do have opinions and we all do have ideas. The end result for me is - do what you can do, to the best of your ability and leave others to do what they can do to the best of their ability. Maybe by being more understanding to one another we may have a happier, more fulfilling life and in the process also see past the labels we put on other people to rather concentrate on ourselves!
I’m on a journey and I’m creating the label I want for myself that I can be proud of and that hopefully others can admire. It’s not easy and I do keep falling down, but the important thing is that I get up, dust myself off and start all over again!

I read an interesting quote by Denis Waitley who said – Never become so much of an expert that you stop gaining expertise. View life as a continuous learning experience.

Powerful words when we all fall under the same label – that of LIFE!