One of the things Ive been dealing with and having around me is heartbreak. Heartbreak is the worst pain to go through because there is nothing physically broken, yet it seems worse than a serious broken bone, and sometimes the healing process is a lot longer. It’s a unique pain and it has a ripple effect in our lives because it brings up tons of other emotions that seem worse than they normally do in other situations.
Its not a pain like indigestion or what many call ‘heart burn’ and is not a symptom that can be solved with Pepto Bismal, Rennies or milk. It’s a pain that hurts your core, eats at your mind and gives you restless nights. It happens because of the expectancy we have in others and them not wanting us. Its never easy and is not something that you get experience in because each time you experience it, its different.
Unfortunately no matter what I read about how to get over this pain or how many people I speak to, councilors included, I realize that Im concentrating on the problem more and more. I don’t want to grieve because I believe in Hope
Hope is something that I live with everyday. Hope is something that makes me know that at the end of the rainbow there is a pot of gold. Hope is a belief that things can work out for the best and that the possibilities in life are endless. Hope that a family doesn’t get broken up. Hope that you will find yourself again. Hope that the sun will come out tomorrow. I think hope is a spiritual feeling and lived with as one does with your religion or your faith. I can’t switch my love off if I have it in me. I don’t understand how others can, so I prefer to live my life with hope. It’s a choice - My choice.
Hope is something you carry in your heart and wear on your sleeve. Its an aura that surrounds you and you believe in. I suppose grieving is important when you believe its completely over, but until such time I have hope.
I have my heart in the right place.
I have my love in tact.
I have my hope that all will be revealed and that tomorrow the sun will come out and rise in the east.
Hope still hurts though, as the silence is deafening. Perhaps the deafening silence gives me time to listen to things I’ve never heard before.
Well at least we can all identify with this horrid pain. The reality is we all survive and we all can move on and heal. One of the words I have felt helped me along the recovery path, is the word discipline. The discipline to keep our minds focused on good thoughts and not indulge in the thoughts around that person or the pain. The discipline to stay focused, stay occupied and keep on a healthy path towards the mending of a broken heart.
ReplyDeleteThe good news is, it is not terminal!
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Well said Tiffa.
ReplyDeletePeople may say no one ever died of a broken heart, but when you're suffering from one, it sure doesn't feel that way--at least initially. These suggestions may help you navigate the painfully troubled waters of a relationship that has ended and help you heal a broken heart.
ReplyDeleteGive yourself permission to mourn. Call in sick at work, sleep all day, eat too much ice cream, sob.
Congratulate yourself for being human: It is only when you open yourself to love that your heart can break. The initial shock and pain, such as "This too shall pass" or "I will survive." Reach out to a close friend or family member. It helps to share your thoughts with others. Force yourself to go out even if you are feeling despondent. Take yourself out for a cup of coffee or go on a long walk. Express your emotions in a way that comes naturally. Write in a journal, BLOG. Resist the urge to call your ex. Instead, write a letter. Don't mail it. Go out of town for the weekend to distance yourself from the temptation to call your ex. Visit an old friend or go back home to your roots. A change of environment does wonders for the spirit. Put everything that reminds you of your ex in a box and seal it. Throw it away, donate it to charity or ask a friend to hold on to it indefinitely.
Surround yourself with friends. This may mean reaching out to people you fell out of touch with during the relationship. Make lists to help you regain your confidence and identity: a list of your friends, of things you like, of what you want to accomplish in the next decade. Spoil yourself: Get a new hairstyle, have a spa day or go shopping. Resist the urge to call your ex.
Have you learned anything about yourself? Does the experience make you more empathetic to others who've suffered a hardship? Begin an activity that will fill your time, distract your mind and rebuild your confidence. Train for a marathon, take up yoga or learn a new language. Call your ex if you feel it would be helpful. Resist if you merely want to say hurtful things. Consider dating other people, but be wary of rebound relationships. Understand that you will need to experience and process sadness, anger, guilt and fear to fully heal. Burying or ignoring these emotions will thwart the healing process. Write, cry, share the feelings with friends.
Consult a psychiatrist if you are experiencing symptoms of depression, such as lack of appetite, insomnia or too much sleeping, low self-esteem, and an inability to concentrate or carry out routine tasks. Remember that healing is a process that takes time. Expect waves of sadness, anger, guilt or fear even after you think you are over it. Give your heart time to heal.
Finally reach out to your ex if you want to re-establish a friendship. Do not harbor secret ambitions of winning him or her back. You'll only set yourself up for another heartbreak.
CHARLES.