I had my haircut yesterday. I always have a clipper cut which is quick and easy for me to wear; a wash – and - go type haircut. I keep my fringe a little longer and that is normally trimmed with a pair of scissors. The lady that normally cuts my hair was not in and because of how simple it is to cut my hair, another lady offered to cut my hair. As she clipper - cut my hair she asked if I wanted my fringe cut with the number 3 attachment, to keep it uniform on the top. I said NO, scissors are usually used. She took the clipper and shaved my fringe off, leaving me looking like a military man. Shocked, I look at her and said; but that’s exactly what I told you NOT to do! She smiled at me apologetically and said, but I thought you said yes.
I now have a new look – thanks to a misunderstanding. My hair grows quickly, so I’m not too concerned about looking like a military man.
When I got home I thought about what happened and the result I am left with. In all honesty, it’s not a bad look and by this morning I was already feeling better about how I look. Is this a simplified way for me to see the demons I think I am facing?
I realized that I am in control of my life. Not something I have forgotten but perhaps I need to be reminded of this every now and then. Demons come in every shape and form and I have always had the courage to face my demons, and actually been quite creative in how I deal with them.
Here’s the picture I created for myself this morning:
A dragon is constantly attacking a village. Normally the village is very prosperous and looked at with respect and admiration. But the village feels negativity in the air from the constant bombardment of the dragon, which spits fire, steals the livestock and just makes life damn uncomfortable to deal with. One of the townsfolk, tired of constantly battling what seems to be a losing battle, decides to take a walk into the forest, to clear his head, to look for some joy in his life again and enable him to come back feeling refreshed and ready for a new battle. This person happens to come across the dragon, which is resting. The dragon sees the person and is angered that he is interrupting his rest. The person is petrified as he has no tools to fight the dragon with. They take time to look at each other and to try figure each other out. This goes on for hours, until they both realize that neither one of them has the will nor the need to fight. The dragon is full and is not really being bothered by the man. The man sees that the dragon is not really a threat to him, because he has eaten. The dragon and the man start trusting one another and pretty soon the dragon and the man are friends.
I feel like the village. The dragon is the constant array of questions that I find asking myself. The man is my consciousness. Consciously I need to learn to overcome my fear of the dragon, accept how it is and why it does what it does. In the end the understanding of the situation is what makes it easier to deal with and realize that a step forward is being made.
I feel a little happier today. I feel a little stronger. I feel like I have taken a baby step towards my future, yet all the while enjoying the now. Yesterday “anonymous” said that I am asking the right questions. Thank you for that and the moral support because I sometimes even doubt that the questions I ask are the right ones, but it was a motivating boost and one that gave me a respiratory break today.
I feel like I now not only have a new look, but also an extra tool to fight my own demons with although I never lost it in the first place.
The tool is the reminder that I am in control of my own life!
I feel good, I feel great, I feel fantastic!
Glad to read that you had a better day today, and I sense that you are feeling more at ease, more a peace,maybe!
ReplyDeleteThe main question I have for you is, ARE YOU HAPPY? Are you CONTENT? Are you still running away from the DEMONS, belive me I dont belive you, when you say that you are facing them 100%? You can fool youself for as long as you want to. Thats your own personal development.
I was glad to read that you had a better day today, one step at time even if they are baby steps, they are after all a step or two. Just remember that today will TAKE CARE OF THE REST of your life, stop planning and enjoy your steps as they will lead to a long walk.
You seem to be someone who needs to be in control of all the factors/events/planning/outcome's, that effect you, a good trait in a person, but can you maybe be too controlling over yourself and others, wanting all people to do it your way or no way at all. You may also be too strict with yourself, and hate failure. Failure is just your own way of scoring your own action's and the outcome you reached. Dont blame yourself, take control of those events and ownership of YOUR own actions.
I am not being critical, but observing what you have written. So please read what I say as how I perceive your written words. My comments may not be correct, but I have taken the time to reply, as I do enjoy your blog.
Some reading matter to get you thinking.
lack of self-confidence: feelings of doubt about your own worth and abilities
learning about self: the process of learning about your true personality and motives
Its a whole road of discovery
self-defense
Definition:
legal right to defend self: the use of reasonable force to defend yourself, your family, and your property against physical attack, or the right to do this
fighting techniques: fighting techniques used to defend yourself against physical attack, especially unarmed combat techniques such as any of the martial arts
justifying of self: the defending of your own ideas, principles, or actions
correcting own mistakes: able or tending to notice personal mistakes and correct them
Those are some words for you to ponder.I am glad that you still asking yourself how why what, as you want the best for yourself.
Looking forward to your new post.
I am not you and you not me, however I do identify with your thoughts and some of your actions. I as one person, hope that you will find the real you, and a good sign was that you had your hair cut. This symbolic action, means that you want change and you are taking care of yourself.
Keep blogging.
Keep reading and keep commenting. I like the discussion forums it opens and the new topics its brings to mind
ReplyDeleteTHanks for all the informative info as well
M